My struggle with post partum depression!!

I had read many famous books and web articles on pregnancy while carrying my son. They all mentioned post partum depression which was just a topic for me untill I gave birth to my son, Maahir on 5th Jan, 2018.

I thought I was the luckiest woman ever to have had such a smooth pregnancy !! I didn't vomit even once in entire 9 months and neither had any nausea or gestational diabetes or anything other pregnancy related issues. Infact I had a c section on 5th and was discharged on 8th morning .. I recovered very well and was back home on 3rd day itself .

But that in when my real battle began.. my physical health was perfect. The stitches healed well and I took bath and all on my own from day 1 but my thoughts were killing me . I was going crazy with the sleepless nights and tiredness. My breast was sore and bleed and yet I had to feed my baby with that excruciating pain.

Everything took toll on me . I hated being confined to one room and having selected food . My newborn as like every other baby had his milk demands, own sleep times etc etc. Even though I had a full time help but nothing helped me.

I got cranky day by day, would pick up a fight with my husband for no reasons. The realization came that something is seriously wrong was when I wanted to abandon my baby .. and by abandon I meant to do anything to get rid away with him.

I clearly remember during japa I saw my mother in law frying something in kitchen , I observed her for sometime and then out of no where just blurted out that lets put the baby inside the pan !!

My mother in law offcourse got paranoid for me saying that, infact the maid also said that what non sense was I talking .

My struggle was so bad that my japa wali took very good advantage of it . She convinced me that my husband and my mother in law was my real enemies and she was the dearest to me !!

An educated woman like me was convinced by a maid that my family hates me and they only wanted a baby out of me. At that point I was even ready to leave everything and settle with her. I gave her my expensive pair of pure silver payals just because she took that advantage of my vulnerability and brainwashed me that she was only true well wisher ..

From killing myself to frying my baby in oil, there was no negative thought that didn't come in my mind ..

It all subsided when my confinement period was over, my husband took in charge of the baby and the maid had left.

Everything started to fall in place. I was finally sleeping with my husband in same room, we both were raising the baby, going out on vacations with him . Motherhood striked a little late but it was as beautiful as I had imagined ..

Thank you for reading this out and please share in comments if you also faced something similar.

P.S: sharing th picture of me and Maahir. I still can't believe that I ever had the thoughts of harming him ☹️

Thank god u fine now 👍good post to help for who suffer from post partym depression

Hello ankita, thank you so much for sharing your journey with us! would like to invite you for our creators club, can you please email us at and also you can message me on BBC chat also :)

Hi Ankita, It takes courage to share our deepest regrets , so hats off to you girl! Motherhood often strike rather late. Truer words often not spoken so openly ! loved your courage ! :) Keep writing & I hope you are soon invited to the Creators Club !

soumya thank you .. yes I really hope that mother's suffering from post partum depression should not find themselves alone and do not shy away from admiting it also .

#postpartumdepression #mentalsicknessisnotaboo #newmomcare #newmomhurdles #maahirmom #bbcreatorsclub

Khushboo Chouhan most welcome and thank you for having me in this wonderful platform. Il email you shortly .


hats off you dear !! hugs you !!
both of you looks very lovely..

meghana kiran Madhavi Cholera Madhuri Dr. AMRITA MALLIK Sweta ( Nilofer shaikh@mommyingandmore Sathya Kalaiselven Mahima Atishaya Saumya Pillai Sapna Senthil Kumar sreekanna Upasana Sai Rajeswari Sulbha Bathwal Priyanka Maheshwari Hemalatha Arunkumar Sonam patel Soma Sur Srishti Biltoria Akanksha and Ida (ida_tales) Rashmi Choudhury Mariyum Aaquib ( inas_and_mamas ) revauthi rajamani Dr Sweta Bajaj Archana Bhosale Kuljeet kaur Shridevi Pawan Shilwant Dr. Farah Adam Mrs. Shweta Kalyankar Rebecca Prakash Parul_Tiwari@a_magical_voice Vipra Naik Akanksha Bhuri Renuka Pillai Samidha Mathur Shristhy thapa Anisha Agarwal Amritha Srinath Sowmya Prithvi Priti Raghuvanshi Anjali Naik Farheen Khan Abhilasha Jaiswal Sania Bhushan Garima Singla Sunita Pawar Charu Gujjal @themomsagas Dhara Popat Saman Khan Akansha Bansal @BuddingStar Kavita Sahany Bhargavi Goswami Foram KModi (Slimpossiblediet) Kinshoo (momlearningwithbaby) Priya Sharma Nancy Singh Hema Gayatri Saria Nazneen Iqbal Avin Kohli Nikita Bhawsinka Arulmozhi Nandakumar Mansee Nisar Gayatri Deshmukh Pria Aithal Shreya Sonam Jauhri Misba Khan Mayuri Kacha Sindhu Vinod Narayan Rucha Tembe Salma Mehajabeen Shajahan Alizeh Tarotforu Shambhavi Satarupa B Kaur Priyanka Arora Nisha pais Godhuli Dube Kapila@evrylitlthing.happiness Sonal Shende sunaina sharma Sapna bansal Dt Sarika Nair Sneha Khandait Deepti Arora durga salvi Vidya Shashank Priyanka Jaiswal Reshma R Rakhi Puri (beautyofmommying) anjna gautam ROOPTARA Varsha Rao Himani Sharma Varshha Sagar Tolani Revati Narayanswamy Prajakta Marati Ankita Panigrahi MeenalSonal Priyanka Ahire saumya Nair rajesh Bhrukuti Mistry Razina Bolim garima Sunainaa Chadha Aaisha Sarwar Lichhma & Kailash babies_ musthave Akansha Sharma Neha bhalla(mommytomyson_neha) Vani Leena Jha Neha bhalla(mommytomyson_neha) poorvi khare Dr. Payal M Himali Parikh Shipra Trivedi Smita Saksena Ankita Chopra mansi kapoor Reetika Gupta poorvi khare Antima Singh Pooja Jain Geetika Bajaj Pooja Singh Jayshree Bhagat Shruti Shah Preet @mylittlemuffin_mom Aditi Dr. Priyanka Dhargalkar Pavit Nanda Fareha Nousheen Moupali Ray Ritu rathore Shwetha Mihir( chweetbmyworld) Preethi Pattabiraman nimmi rathore Tamizh muhil Prakasam Pooja Patil Madhavi & Yuvaan Deepa Deepa Manikyam Cherthedath Sheeba Rizvi rupal jain resMOMsibility By Samriddhi Anushka Dave Pammy Rajan Rajashree Ghosh Mumtaz Surani Preethi Pattabiraman Ruchi Saxena Shweta Vyas Chetna Sharma Swapnil Dwivedi Sandhya Vivek Min.

I can understand this, I have dealt with Post partum depression. It's real.

A big hug to you

Wow ... Amazing .... ❤️

Thanks for sharing ur experience,mostly moms suffer from it

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