I turned 28 last September and all hell broke loose. In my mind, I started assuming myself to be 98 instead of 28. There are several reasons for this like no professional growth in past several years despite a lot of trying, societal pressures etc. I felt my life has become stagnant and boring. This was the least I wanted and the more I thought about it, the more miserable I became. I started feeling pity for myself. The most vibrant girl at school became a self-pitying loser. I avoided social gatherings and went into a cocoon. My weight increased and I lost interest in everything. I had frequent nervous breakdowns and used to cry over the phone for hours while talking to my mom.
As things started to get worse, I felt I need to give life a second chance and for this, I decided to first bring some hope into my life. I started making a note of all the good things in my life and felt quite upbeat after the whole exercise. So by the time I was 29, I knew a lot of things which I failed to notice earlier. I knew that
I have the most valuable blessing in the form of my little girl who could easily brighten up my gloomy days. She was more than enough to help me pull through the rest of my life.
My mom did not sacrifice her whole life for seeing me like this. She believed in me and I cannot prove her wrong.
I love my husband and know that he is that one person in the whole world who would protect me even if I murdered someone and came home. He has always dealt me with love and patience and I need to be able to match him when the time comes.
It was me who decided that I want to live my life this way. If certain things did not go as planned I cannot blame others for it.
Holding emotions and feelings inside oneself makes the situation worse. We have to just let it go and eventually will start feeling lighter.
In life, there are no fixed rules for anything or everything. There is a series of plans that god made for us. If plan A fails, plan B comes into the picture so on and so forth.
I have at my disposal things that a majority of people can only dream of. I need to start counting on all the little things in my life instead of waiting for those which are yet to come.
There is a reason that things happen the way they do. We cannot control this even if we want to. So rather we should start accepting things in a more positive way.
Failures are just an indication that you need to work a little harder to get there. It does not at all means that it is the end and hence we should stop trying.
I have only one person to prove myself to – ME. It does not at all matters what others say and think. They were not there yesterday and will not be there tomorrow. Ignore and move on.
So after doing this soul-searching, I felt much much better and a lot more satisfied than before. I also realized that nobody else can make you happy except you. You are your own savior. I read a quote somewhere, “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain”. So make your life worth living by being happy and positive through the good and the bad times. Your days are counted so make all of them totally kick-ass!! #bloggifiedmom
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