DEALING WITH A MATTER IN MARRIAGE AFTER BABIES ARRIVE???????


Everyone's always saying how a baby is the biggest change in your life. That's an understatement. Neither the advice columns that I feverishly scoured when I was pregnant, nor the bunch of helpful, experienced friends prepared me for the huge change the birth of my baby would bring about in my life, and specifically in my marriage. I was advised to make time to communicate with my husband, schedule date nights, and what not. When the time comes, in a flurry of diapers and hormones, you don't really end up doing any of that. Read on to find out how your marriage changes and what you can do to make that a positive change.

How To Deal With Changes In Your Marriage Post Delivery?
We know what you're thinking – if one more person tells you that communication is the key, you're going to pull your hair out. Communication is hard, but trust us, there are really tiny, yet effective ways in which you can do it. Here are some tips to work on your marriage post your baby's birth.

The important conversations are awkward: No matter how close you are with your husband, talking about what you expect from him or what's not working can get QUITE awkward. But, you need to have them. I went crazy when I felt that his life, professional and social hadn't changed one bit whereas mine was shaken up so much. And after fifty fights and three awkward conversations, I understood that he's terrified of being a new parent too.

It helps if you take a walk and make conversation. Nothing is more awkward than trying to sit and a table with the aim of talking!

Don't get defensive while talking. Remember, the two of you are on the same team

Be nice: Motherhood brings out the fierce, aggressive warrior in you. All you care about, suddenly, is that your baby is well looked after. And what this means is that niceties are not on your priority list anymore, and you tend to snap often.

Take a moment to remember that this was the same person you had sweet nicknames for and was always your number one guy

Give him credit for a diaper change done in record time, or doing the laundry

Tell him you appreciate the great job, and do it with a smile. It makes a huge difference

Date nights, or a half hour of sitcoms: It might or might not be possible for you to really plan a date night out, but what's really important is to have a little time alone.

Even if you don't have a sitter, when the little one is asleep, talk about your day.

Ask him about work, talk about a funny article you read.

Laugh together at a silly sitcom on TV. Nothing works better as a stress buster than a good laugh.

Don't put pressure on yourself to go out if it isn't possible. What matters is to be at ease with each other and enjoy your spouse's company.

Intimacy needn't be a lost cause:Yes, it feels like sex is near impossible most of the time. What with the initial recovery period, and then the emotional recovery, and with the baby taking up all your time, it may seem like forever since you shared an intimate moment with your husband. And talking about it felt uncomfortable. But a simple gesture like holding hands while watching TV, or a quick kiss accompanying an “I love you” can go a long way in keeping the intimacy alive

Involve your spouse when it comes to the baby: Whether you are buying a cute little sweater online, or looking for a nanny, ask your husband what he thinks. He might not agree with you, but he will appreciate being asked.

Make sure you both do doctor visits for the baby, together

Go shopping or browse online together when it comes to baby gear or clothes

Have him feed your baby while you sing songs to entertain the little one, or vice versa!

It takes really simple things to involve him with baby care, and to bond with each other