My twins have turned three years old now. On their last birthday, we gave them two different presents of their choice but we got only one cake to cut. And not even once did it click us that they would probably like to have their own cakes, which they can cut on their own without sharing with anyone. Honestly, we thought we're making them feel special by getting in a big twin-themed cake but we missed it here. And we didn’t realise it till one of them asked outrightly- ‘where is my cake?’. My daughter simply refused to share the cake with her brother and we had a tough time persuading her.
Now when I think of it, it wasnt unfair on her part to ask for a separate cake. I mean birthday is a day to feel exclusive right? Intentionally or unintentionally we often view twins as a ‘pair’. They do almost similar activities and follow each other in many aspects of their childhood. But we can’t ignore the fact that they are two individuals with their own interests and choices.
As parents, it’s important we encourage individuality in twins and help them gain a sense of self. There are a lot of things we can do (especially in the toddler years) to help them build their own unique identity. The first thing being treating twins as two individuals and not as a ‘twin set’.
I will be sharing more ideas on things I personally follow to encourage individuality in my twins. Stay tuned to my next post and do follow the hashtags #themomsagas#thetwinsagas
03 Aug 2019