Equal, always..

Recently I went to watch a movie with my daughter and my cousin. It was a Vidya Balan starrer and as most of her movies, a female-centric one. It was a story of an ordinary woman dreaming to make it big. Though she had failed a couple of times in her endeavors, she never stopped trying and reached her destination ultimately. It stirred a storm within me. Born and brought up in India, I am used to seeing females being regarded as best suited for housewife roles. I feel very good to say that this picture is changing now with more and more women breaking stereotypes and shattering the “glass-ceiling”. But still, when it comes to childcare it is the mother who is considered to have the key role. This happens even when the child is an equal responsibility of both the mother and the father. The society has set its rules and people oblige by following them even when they have no logical backing.

If a mother wakes up ten times in the night to feed the baby, it is very normal because she is just doing her duty but if the father does the same thing, he is praised and applauded for going “out of his way” to help his wife. If a mother bathes and changes the baby’s soiled diapers, its ok – her duty to do so. On the other hand, pics of a diaper changing father never fails to garner attention on the social media. The social life of most of the mothers after having a baby is reduced to zero but for the fathers’ nothing changes. More than the family, the society is concerned whether or not the mother is giving her undivided attention to the baby. Why do they not understand a simple fact that it takes both the mother and the father to make a baby and so it will take both of them to raise him too.

Fortunately, most of the husbands in today’s world are more than willing to share this sweet burden. They are actively involved in all aspects of their child’s life. They are there for their vaccinations, PTMs, Annual Days, Sports Days, Movie dates, Birthday dinners and what not. They do it by choice and are very proud of the fact too. This is the new normal I believe. A child needs both his mother and father and that too on all occasions. It is not that things are divided between the parents. For example, if both the parents are working, they adjust their work hours in a way that at least one of them is with the child all the time. Such a balance goes a long way in making families happier and children merrier. There should be a special bond and deep understanding between the man and wife so that they understand each other’s need without thinking about the societal norms.

Parents act as the primary socializing agents for a child. It is them he looks up to for inspiration. Let us try and make good role models for our children and teach them the meaning of equality from an early age.
#bloggifiedmom