#mommytakeover
Post 1
Hellooo everyone..Namastey..Aadab.. Satsriakaal!!....to all my babychakra buddies. I welcome you all to this small man ki baat, with me throughout the day!!..
First of all a big thanks to team babychakra and Priya Sood Mam for encouraging me to do this and supporting me in this..also thanks to my babychakra family for being so loving towards me...so let's begin folks!!
The month was September, the day 5th and it was drizzling outside in the afternoon when 38 years ago, I opened my eyes in a family where everyone was eagely waiting to welcome me. Yippee I was born!!
I, Aditi Mehra (pre marriage name) belong to kanpur (Uttar Pradesh), a commercial town near Lucknow, known for its IIT, medical college, cloth and leather business and of course it's kanpuri ladoo....my dad is in cloth business and my mom a housewife...born in a loving joint family, my early childhood memories were full of love from my parents, uncle, aunts, elder cousins and special affection from my grand mother who dotted upon me. My dad was usually busy with his work but could always find small and big ways to shower his love and care on us. Mom was an ideal bahu, loved by everyone, because of her jovial nature, but was mostly busy with her household work, family related duties and later with my younger sister, Syona, who was 7 years younger to me..
But being in a joint family, I always had someone around me to take care.. I never felt alone as I had cousin's to play with and most of them were of my age so we bonded well.... in fact I never valued these things much during my childhood as they were a constant for me but now living in a nuclear set up for more than a decade and raising my child in it I miss that support you always have in joint families... Yes there are misunderstandings, arguments and quarrels sometimes and it's not always the ideal set up as there is less privacy and freedom but that underlying hum saath saath hai in good and bad times feeling is comforting... also being in this set up my learning many small and big things was automatic and effortless as I saw others doing something and simply followed it...from small things like eating and talking and peeing and pooping at the right place and time to bigger things like ettiquettes, sharing and caring, values and much more was learnt unknowingly from everyone around!!
I remember spending most of my time, around my granny as in eating from her hands even when I was in class 6th or 7th... praying with her when she did daily hawan, and evening prayers,; asking her to tell a new story everyday and even sleeping with her in afternoons...it was during these story telling sessions that I came to know that today when we had enough of everything and were living a good life, just until a few years back, our family had struggled through a very difficult phase.
We we're basically from Amritsar, but were settled in srinagar, Kashmir as my grandfather had a cloth business there. My granny told me that she got married at a very early age of about 14-15 years and by the time she was 28-29, she was happily married with 4 children. She was blessed with a kind and loving MIL.
All was well until my grandfather was detected with a throat cancer. Life changed dramatically and the difficulties had just begin for her...after futile attempts of getting him treated in kashmir, where medical facilities were few, She shifted her base to kanpur as her brothers were settled here...most of the money they had was spent in his treatment and when my dad, her youngest child out of 4 kids (2 daughters and another son) was just 5 years old, my grandfather passed away leaving my grandma with no money, 4 small kids and an aeging MIL..
When I was a child I just listened to everything in awe as if it was a story only ..but today I know how her world would have crashed with a big ?...ki ab Kya hoga aur Kya karu?...she told me that she knew that there was a very long tough time ahead for her but her belief in God kept her going... everyday was an ordeal but she never gave up...she worked hard and her MIL took care of the kids.. slowly all kids grew up...there were very limited means like they never had enough to eat and everyone had 2 dresses, one for wearing and one which they washed and kept under the pillows, so it got pressed.. all 4 kids worked very hard, adjusting in very limited means and managed to survive and study..all of them were obedient and hard working kids who understood their mothers situation so never troubled her much...all they had was their integrity and good values.
By the time my elder aunt got married,; it was time my tauji chose between studying after class 12th as he was very intelligent and wanted to become a doctor or start earning in the cloth market?..he decided to earn...at the age of 15 years!!..and

by the time my second aunt got married, my father was 16 years old. Conditions were a bit comfortable now but my dad also wanted to add to the family kitty so he followed his brother's footsteps and started earning at an age of 16 years... luckily he was able to study too with work and so he completed his master's in economics. First my tauji and then my dad got married and by the time my taiji and then mom joined the family and we kids were born, by God's grace that very tough physical and emotionally challenging; phase was over.. but it had left it's Mark on our family and few learnings which my grandma passed to us kids. In short they were:
1. Life has its own plans..it changes suddenly in the most unexpected ways...it will give you both good and bad times. Both of them don't last forever so spend your good time with humility and bad time lying low and trying to just survive every day of it.
2. However bad things are believe in God. Destiny always has a plan for us but all we can do is work hard. Never give up on your core values and integrity. Choose the long route to success, it may be tough but is more gratifying. Those who constantly do good karma are blessed one day.
3. Value money in your life. Its easier to spend and very hard to earn. Don't overspend money just because you have it..save something for rainy days. Never do something for the sake of showing off..
4. Value good people the most in your life. Outer beauty is good to look at but inner beauty is good to live with.
5. Never forget your bad times and share your good fortune with poor and needy. Be compassionate to people.
These were few things that I learned from my grandma and family and till date have found them very useful.
Let me now tell you all a bit more about my bacpan ke din which were probably the best days of my life. I was the eldest out of the four kids in our family. Apart from me there were 3 more kids. (taijis daughter and son) and my younger sister... I was the eldest child as taijis kids happened a bit late so got lots of love from everyone.; Besides that my 2 aunt's who were married in the same city, visited us frequently with their kids. All in all, we were 8 kids ki Sena and 6 out of them were of my age group ..we had lots of fun... During holidays we ate together on a chataai in the aangan.. played a lot.. laughed...faught..were caught doing mischiefs and cried too... I bonded very well with 2 of my cousin sister's. It was 80s ka era...doordarshan aur landline Wala... Where unlike today, you could count the cars passing on the road on your fingers and the maximum most people had was a two wheeler...life was slow...the word stress was mostly unknown and there was contentment in less!!
You must be thinking ki Kya isne khelte -khelte hi Saab time bita diya?... what about school and studies..so bhai!!...Padaai was important and as there were so many kids in the family, padna to padta thaa...as far as schooling was concerned like everyone else I studied in an all girls convent. I was an above average student, whom teachers loved, probably because I was born on teacher's day... I was always in top 5 or 8 in my class but never came first till class 11th...more than interest, fear of daant and sometimes maar... Saab bachcho me fail hue to kaisa lagega and Saab pad rahey hai to tum bhi pado was the reason why I studied..
Last but not the least there was someone else too who influenced my childhood in a big way.. who was a 180 degree ka turn from my lenient and loving daadi and that was my strict Naani Ma...main to Kya saara muhalla unse darta thaa....she was a homemaker who never sat for a moment, and never let others sit too... a business woman, religious worker, social worker and what not and every year in summers when mom, me and my sis visited her we never saw a day when people would not come to meet her...her funda in life was kaam karo..baitho mat and she applied it best on me..my summer vacations were mostly a military training type system. When at our home we never knew how all household work was done but here she made me learn everything from washing clothes and utensils to mopping and dusting and washing the floors..planting and watering plants, ...even bargaining for stuff..and mind it she was not happy with only this..she also wanted good scores from us in exams..my sister was small and so somehow always managed to get away but I always got caught....so by the age of 14-15 years, I knew almost all household work and could shop all grocery and vegetables from the market on my own.
So friends this was a snapshot of how my childhood was spent mostly influenced by my 2 grannies...who was the person who influenced you or inspired you most during your childhood?..