Some ways to respond to your child’s tears with empathy
It’s no secret that;hearing our kids cry makes us uncomfortable. Just think about how anxious you feel when your little one tears up without an obvious reason. We know that a newborn’s main way to communicate is to cry, yet we still look at it as something to be “fixed.” Once that infant becomes a walking, talking toddler, we sometimes expect them to process emotion the way we do rather than the way they have always done: through crying.

Remember, crying doesn’t always equal sadness
What to say to your crying child instead... The next time you’re faced with a crying toddler, try to take a moment to make sure you are calm. If you’re angry, stressed or frustrated, the things that you say will just add to your toddler’s distress. Take a breath or two, acknowledge how you’re feeling, focus on what’s going on inside your body (your heart may be beating a little faster; your jaw may be clenched; you may be feeling tense) and, when you’re ready, use a low voice, and try these 11 alternatives:
1. “We’re on the same team. I will help you.”Even if your child says they do not want your help, they do want to;feel;as though you will back them up when they need you.
2. “I can see this is hard for you.”;This simple phrase acknowledges that you hear and see them.
3. “I understand you’re sad/disappointed/scared/anxious/happy and that’s OK.”;Reinforce the notion that feeling an emotion is what makes us human.
4. “That was really sad/frustrating/disappointing.”;Acknowledging the event that triggered your child’s crying helps them also see what triggered their emotion and figure out what to do next.
5. “Let’s take a break.”;Removing you both from the situation helps your toddler understand that sometimes you need to walk away in order to compose yourself. Your child may legitimately be tired or over-stimulated and simply need to have time in a quiet, soothing place before rejoining the activity.
6. “I love you. You are safe.”;This invites connection with your child rather than separation. They may need a hug, a snuggle or to hold your hand in order to feel that you are indeed there to help them.