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Q:

Hey all aarti here I have a 4.2 yr boy. He is quite stubborn. He just irritates to do everything. I am over done with scolding, loving, scaring and also hitting. Ultimately after hitting him he listens to the thing and does it... I am so guilty always after hitting him but he is like repeats it again and again. Plz help how to manage him.



Sonal S Raja kindly help

You don't loose patience. They learn from us only.

I can totally understand what you go through. But also understand that scolding,; scaring and hitting affects child more than what we can imagine. It remains as scars in their mind. When you feel you are losing patience walk out of the room. Count numbers in your mind,; take a deep breath and tell yourself you need to tackle the situation differently. Go back to him listen to him patiently,; just dont lose your cool. Give out options to his demand.
You can start a game in your house by giving points. Tell him that he will get a point everytime he listens to mumma and at the end of the day reward him. It could be his favourite food,; an eraser, a sticker anything to keep him motivated to be a good boy for the whole day.
Parenting is a process of learning. No one can teach you, you need to learn yourself with experience. And there is no perfect parent nor a perfect child. Everything is phase which will pass and you need high patience in these phases just keep telling yourself that.

Let me tell you one thing the more you will loose patience things will get worse...I know it's hard to stay calm in such situations but there's no other option... Talk to him as much as possible when he is in good mood...try to make him understand that how he should behave when he is all into you... Don't hit...you hit this time after 10 times he will hit you back if you don't listen to you... They learn from us... Try time outs for both you... Ask him what exactly he wants and why he is irritated much.... Get some good manners books ...show some videos related to good behavior..it helps