Q: What do you all do when your opinions and thoughts do not match with those of your MIL..  I was planning to buy some clothes for my baby since it is my 8th month and she said that I shouldn't buy any..  That I should use the clothes given by the hospital for the first few days and later I should use old clothes of my relative's children..  What did you all do??  I am irritated by this and in this phase when you are already irritated and a bit cranky..  All this makes you even more frustrated..  How am I supposed to calm down??



asha chaudhry

hi prajakta. sorry to hear sweety. very annoying - totally agree wth u. i hv a suggestion based on what i did - not out of any pressure but just to keep the old kapda thing symbolic (and becoz i used to stitch clothes once upon a time!!! ) i used my sister's old kurta and made one simple jhabla (baby dress unisex) out of it. the rest -all clothes, all paraphernalia i bought in my 7 th month! my husband was overseas and he too brought heaps of baby clothes in my 6th month. i washed all new clothes in eezy or genteel and in the first rinse put a drop of dettol. pls get someone to tell ur MIL hospi clothes may hv germs or unwashed so not hygienic. let some relative give u a few pairs if it makes everyone happy (lets find a happy medium) and u speak to ur hubby and tell him everyone buys new clothes nowadays. just find a third person to convince her. and u pls relax. not nice for u to be upset naa. do u hv any close friends nearby who cud help u? if any of them already hv babies that wud help convincing at home. tc.

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1 week ago

Sumira Bhatia

hey Prajatka .. it happens a lot that your views will not match with your in laws . . my mil also asked me to make the baby wear old clothes , the first time (there is little logic in that as used clothes (used clothes means people you will know . . of course wash them before with soft detergent and detol once.  .no hospital clothes please) tend to be softer on baby's skin probably that's why they say that ) however I had a baby shower and lotsss of friends gifted me baby clothes and me and my husband also bought a few . .  which we also need to pre wash before baby wears . . so it doesn't matter . . speak to your husband . .share with him your opinions and views as well . . it is your first baby yes? of course you also have plans for him . . relax . . eventually everything works out . . I made me in laws download baby center so they can also read what's new in "baby raising" . . now if I say a few things . . they agree since it is on the app . . you listen to soothing music or anything enjoy . . watch movies . . read if you do . . go for a cup of coffee with friends . . anything but don't stress

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1 week ago

Sumira Bhatia

I wouldn't want my in-laws on baby chakra.  . let's face it I need some privacy . . so that's our little secret . . shhhhh! 😉

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1 week ago

Ranjita Pradhan

is it true that you can't buy baby clothes as soon as u deliver the baby Becoz my MIL is ready K Pehle se shopping krna chahye but my mum don't she says Achha nhi hota baby k aane se pehle hi Uske clothes leke rakho???? plz help

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1 week ago

Sumira Bhatia

Ranjita Pradhan you can buy as soon as the baby is born but always wash before you make the baby wear clothes . . even new clothes . . maybe you can buy one pair wash it and keep it and then once the baby is born you can buy the rest? already chose want you want buy because then later you wouldn't have much time . . keep it ready at the shop and your husband just picks it up later ? don't worry . . wash the clothes how Asha mentioned in her comment

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1 week ago

Shipra Dang

First of all hospital does not provide any clothes for baby. Secondly, we should purchase new clothes becoz of hygiene. As far as opinions are concerned my MIL has always said the opposite of what I say so in order to tackle her I suggests things which I dont like and she helpless with her habit suggests opposite of it which turns out in my favour and I play the modest card and say "thik hai mummyji jaise aap kahein".

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1 week ago

Sumira Bhatia

hahahahaha Shipra Dang so sneaky hahaha

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1 week ago

Anchal Talwar

just ignore the things. sometimes you need to ignore the things. follow your heart. at the end of the, its your child and you have to look after him. remember the matra is to stay calm for another month in your case and buy new cloths for your child.

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1 week ago

Prajakta Zantye Naik

Thank you so much guys.. It is really comforting to have someone to talk to..  I did speak to my husband on this and he said that we will buy new clothes and get them washed by someone and tell her that these are old clothes.. So that she wouldn't know that we bought new clothes..  But somehow I am still upset..

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1 week ago

Shipra Dang

Sumira Bhatia lol..Cant help it. Let me tell you the latest incident that happened today. I am on bed rest so I cannot go for shopping so I asked my MIL to go for shopping. I like pastel colors over bright colors so I asked her to buy bright clothes like black, yellow, red, magenta etc. She immediately said "aye haye aise colors mein to maid ka bacha lagega mai to light colors laungi" on which I said "arey haan maine to aisa socha hi nai, aap thik keh rahe hain. Jaise apko acha lage waise le aao". Now I know she will buy pastel colors only becoz she thinks I like bright colors. Sometimes one has to play diplomatically in order to survive in sasural.

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1 week ago

Ruchi

i used new cloths purchssed frm fitstcry ( also washed 2-3 times before use) but honestly saying, my baby got rashes due to them ..later i had to use my old dupattas as i had no option left.

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1 week ago

Shipra Dang

Prajakta Zantye Naik I think sometimes we need to do things like this and I think your plan is appropriate for this situation. Dont be upset, you are getting what you want and she is getting what she wants. So win win. Just chill, these are really small matters.

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1 week ago

Rini Dua

shipra i like ur diplomacy, its really a nice way to tackle mil

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1 week ago

Sumira Bhatia

Shipra Dang thoda manipulation toh banta hai hahaha

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1 week ago

Sumira Bhatia

Prajatka hormones also make us emotional . . listen to some good music . . read a book or something . . relaxxxxx!

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1 week ago

Shipra Dang

Sumira Bhatia bilkul manipulation ke bina survive karna mushkil hai... Lol

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1 week ago

Sagar Desai

same happened with me , but I have kept all the old clothes given by my relatives. instead of hurting someone's feeling better to listen them and do whatever you think is right for your baby.

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1 week ago

Gaytri Narang

I m also 8 month pregnant. but I m buying new clothes for my baby. ignore everyone.  do what ever u want to 😉.    calm down....

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1 week ago

Aradhana Sharma

hi prajakta, Its totally irritating  agree ..  old generation have there own beliefs and values and we are brought up in a different modern way , and when something like this comes its annoying .what u can do is agree with her now, but do what evr u want on the other hand which makes u happy ...intially it's imp baby wears hygeinic and soft clothes no matter it's new or old. later wear baby what u wish , talk to your husband also but don't panic  ...it's not now that in-laws and your mind is not matching items since inception ;) ( since marriage) and try to take things not to seriously ( just to divert your mood) jaani yeh to abhi shuruwat hai ;)    ....age age adat honjayegi and u will learn to come out of this easily :) wishes ....enjoy the last trimester n last month of pregnancy :)

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1 week ago

Sonam patel

Hii Prajakta... Every mom is excited to make her baby wear new clothes and do shopping for her... I can understand your feeling... It's better to talk to your hubby...May b he can make your MIL understand... New clothes for my baby was bought when we both were in  hospital itself... So, it's only the thinking of people...There's nothing like you should not buy clothes early.

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1 week ago

Neha Gupta

it's a myth dear you can go and shopping for your LO...you just said to your MAIL .why I would wear to my baby old clothes even doctors & sister said give a new clothes....even m also bought for my son clothes in 8th month ...so you just relax and keep shopping for newborn LO

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1 week ago

Vaishali

mujhe mera time yaad aagaya. when I was in 7 month pregnancy, I had started making list for new baby and for hospital bag and I had ordered baby cream, lotion, soap, etc. and my mother in law took my class but bcoz my husband supported me so I bought but chupke se. I had bought some new clothes and took old clothes from my nand. then I washed all new and old clothes seperately in dettol. and by this my mother in law didn't make out anything.

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1 week ago

Dr Harshita Gowda

Hi.. Even I was given similar advice by everyone.  And because I wanted "peace",  I agreed and used my nephew 's clothes on my baby for the first few days. It was washed with mild detergent and dettol. There is nothing wrong in using preloved clothes and in using new ones. So don't get irritated and stress yourself for these minor issues :)..  There will be lot more once the little one arrives!.. 

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1 week ago

Akshaya Naresh

This post is super helpful for me!!Those are some great ideas asha chaudhry Sumira Bhatia Shipra Dang & Sonam patel!! Like prajakta said,I got a big NO NO! from my Mil for buying anything before baby arrives!To make things worser,I'm moving to mil's place by this month end as the hospital is there only.So I can never ignore her or manipulate things!Second thing,my hubby is in abroad.He won't be there for my delivery also.He is too attached to few sentiments and is afraid that something ill would happen to baby if I don't follow all these!!(Thanks to my mil!cos of her frightening my hubby with this,I never had my babyshower or maternity photoshoot!!)My hubby is too sensitive as two of his close friends lost their babies at the end of pregnancy due to some reasons.So he's like pls adjust!we don't want anything bad to happen to us!!I tried telling my mil that I wanted to select everything for baby and I don't want anyone to just buy something from nearby stores in a haste after baby arrives.Nothing helped!!Suggestions pls!!

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1 week ago

Rebecca Prakash

OMG Shipra Dang that's funny 😅.

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1 week ago

Khushboo Pitti

hey.. in our caste as in marwaris, we are first supposed to make the baby wear old clothed from relatives for the first 40days or till the jaapa ends. after that on the day we have all the puja we make the baby wear new clothes.
i would suggest, do not argue with your MIL on these things, she might feel as if she has not raised any child. if she asks u to make the baby wear old clothes, just rinse them in ezee and then soak in dettol and wash. anyways you wont be going out till your jaapa is over. instead buy some baby essentials you will need instantly for the baby.

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1 week ago

asha chaudhry

Shipra Dang !!!!! this is epic!!! u MUST post this seperately - will help so many expecting moms in dharam sankat!!! gosh u are the coolest :))))

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1 week ago

asha chaudhry

Akshaya Naresh chill. read all the comments carefully. am sure u will find a happy medium. tc honey

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1 week ago

Sumira Bhatia

Akshaya Naresh oh dear!! your mil wouldn't even allow one pair? I mean you can't bring baby a naked baby ?? anyhow . . why don't you keep a cart ready online and hit send a day before your due time or whenever you begin to feel labour is beginning? your order should reach a day or two after your baby comes home ??

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1 week ago

Akshaya Naresh

lol yeah sumira!I don't want to take my baby home naked!!Like you said,I have been adding things in cart.That's the only choice I'm left with.Also I'm thinking about getting few used clothes from my cousin so I could atleast wash them and keep it ready!will see how it goes..Thanks for ur concern and suggestions Sumira Bhatia and asha chaudhry!❤

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1 week ago

Rebecca Prakash

Akshaya Naresh they do that they are expert in this. I strongly don't believe in this nazar/ kannu potufying etc as I believe divine power is protecting me and my baby but my MIL is just opposite, She spoils her son s mind also,  Whoever sees me now says I don't look pregnant I look super healthy ( No swelling,  walking properly,  no weight gain etc) My doctor also said the same and she is very happy, When I told my husband what doctor said he says "ask ur mom to do that nazar thing" I asked him why on earth our doctor will have nazar on me? 😅 I get so irritated but I'm determined that i will do what I want to do.

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1 week ago

Priya Sood

Hi dear...ghar ghar ki kahaani. Opinions will always differ. My mil hated the name i chose....thats life...BUT....i think its a mutual give n take. For things that really matter try involving hubby dearest to mediate for other small things that dont make a difference to you...let it be. .You must be so excited....

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1 week ago

Akshaya Naresh

lol Rebecca Prakash!!That's exactly what I mean!KANNU POTUFYING!!😅I always try to adjust with my mil but am so strong that I won't step back when it comes to my baby.Cos,this won't be the only  opinion from her.They are neverending! God bless our mils and hubbys!!

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1 week ago

shobhna khandelwal

Hey...  This is for baby good only..  As I also faced the similar situation  and make him wear  old clothes till the puja at our place..  This avoids any kind of allergy or rashes at child skin as he is so new to this world and clothes chemical can harm him any time..  But do remember to wash them with ezee nd Dettol before use. 

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1 week ago

Sumira Bhatia

Akshaya Naresh then let the clothes be . . ! have them delivered once the baby comes home . . ! it can get frustrating but no harm in it . . don't worry . . relax ..  baby is what matters most!!

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1 week ago

Sumira Bhatia

Rebecca Prakash I don't believe in nazar as well but I feel sometimes parents worry too much . . once you become a parent, you'd worry too . . so sometimes I think it doesn't matter in giving in to these things . . it just takes a few mins and isn't much of a hassle . . I think two different beleifs can exist mutually and peacefully if room is allowed for other beliefs to do so . . however if it is something that effects you physically and emotionally . . you must stand up . . ! I am glad I allowed my mil to visit pundits and do upays and stuff . . now she's a big help in raising my baby . . even fil contributes lots infact more than mil . . if you live in the same house then these small points can be ignored ?

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1 week ago

Dr. Payal M

to keep her happy u may use old clothes fr baby in the hospital. once home switch to new ones. tell her u need to buy stuff now as u won't be able to get out n shop later.

wht i did ws, went window shopping with hubby n selected every possible thing i wanted fr baby..n once baby arrived he went n bought it all. i did sneak in some new stuff via my mom (she ws abroad n i didnt want to miss out on getting stuff frm there!) before delivery though!!

pls dont get upset..this is just  the beginning.

hey i never washed new clothes before using them. if u buying stuff frm premium brands i feel there's no need! in my opinion

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1 week ago

Akshaya Naresh

Sure Sumira Bhatia! Thank you 💗

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1 week ago

nancy singh

hey Prajakta

mil and bahu has to be opposite poles and remember opposite poles attract each other 😂😂 be ot for fight or love..    donot get frustrated your time is precious and baby gets the vibe. so rather try dealing eith such situations tactically , if she wants her to wear old clothes make the baby wear for a week after that you can make her wear whatever u want..  do remember to wash everything you buy.
cheers

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1 week ago

Shruti Giri

woow...kahani Ghar Ghar ki!!! I am gonna bookmark his thread n read aram se superb advises by supermoms!!!

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1 week ago

Sirisha Bhalla

Hello

opinions will differ and thats natural. Even I think old clothes are good mainly during the early stage as they are soft and comfortable to the baby's skin. u can use 1-2old clothes to keep their heart and also buy new clothes wash with water beforehand and use them also.. both of u will be happy.

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1 week ago

sanjida khan

is mamle me Mai lucky bhi hu aur unlucky bhi. because mere SaaS aur sasur kaafi pehle hi expire hi Chuke hain. so Aisa koi matter nahi hota hai but unlucky hu kyu ki koi kuch batane wala nahi because of no support from my own mother and family....

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1 week ago

Shipra Dang

asha chaudhry thank u... I'll make a nice post out of it soon.

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1 week ago

Neha Sharma

I always tell my hubby what my expectations are and we are very clear about everything how I am very particular about my decisions. I decide and I take responsibility. being a first time mom I cleared this that I want to take all decisions myself for my baby, everyone else can give suggestions and advice but final decision will be mine. Now coming to this old cloth wala Funda, I explained my mil, old baby clothes can be unhygienic, but just for her sake we used 1 sheet which we used as diaper changing mat 😝 I have noticed elders do have tendency to listen, understand and agree to new things, u just have to be little patient with them and explain things with lots of examples. rest don't think about it much, do what u feel is right...u are going to be mom...yippeee 😘😘

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1 week ago

Akshaya Naresh

wow neha!as diaper changing mat!😂You bought clothes before nemit was born? I will definitely try explaining my mil again.Hope she understands!✌ Neha Sharma

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1 week ago

Neha Sharma

hahaha..yes we still have that mat 😬 we bought clothes and essentials online in the last month. and have saved other things in the cart to be bought once we were back home. try talking to her, give 1 jhappi and tell her pls let me fulfill my dreams, u must have done urs and if not then don't repeat same with me. emotional kar do 😎

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1 week ago

Akshaya Naresh

lol!😅sure neha!!

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1 week ago

Tanuja

hi prajakta ..mils are like that..dont make it a big deal ..never make anything coming from mil a big deal...there is a lot coming ur way i tell u and dat is way more irritating coz of the emotional changes that comes with motherhood.but i wud advice u to just follow ur heart coz ur happiness is important for urself as well as ur baby and be patient..

the baby is urs..u r d one who is going to decide wats gud for her..i was told to do the same n still there are things im supposed to do but i do wat i think must be done.. i dont think there is anything like striking a balance coz either way mils are never satisfied.... 😋 about old clothes they say that they are softer on the skin of baby due to repeated use but nowadays good quality clothes are available which are gentle on babys skin ..so if u want to buy clothes for lil one go ahead .. wash them with dettol and u r good to go..

the key to calming oneself down is to think of mils as dadis ..dadi s are attached to their grandchildren before they r born just like a mother. it is their love. they are just concerned thats all. they dont criticize u or trying to compete but just making sure that the baby is safe n healthy..also if u follow wat they say makes them happy that they are too a part of their grandchilds life n they are experienced too so obeying them once or twice wont harm.

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1 week ago

Deepti Mishra

dear prajakta i don't know why u did 't want to fallow your mIL becouse my mother is saying same thing  in 8 month we did"t buy or made any thing like cloth so if i am agree with my mom den what s the issue in it

  MIL case  as i think its a old thought but if they hv any belief for welbeing of my baby den it s not a big deal

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1 week ago

sharmistha priyadarshini

hi dear, she must b telling ur baby to wear old cloths bcoz by wearing new cloths directly baby usually get rashes as der skin r super soft n after 1 wash some cloths also does not become soft n harsh in new born ; but dat does not mean that u Sud not buy ny new cloths for ur baby. u just stay calm n try to discuss about dis n convince her if c disagrees then ask her when to buy new cloths, I mean her opinion about new cloths if all dis does not work then finally talk to ur hubby......stay cool

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1 week ago

Deepti Mishra

dear as i feel hum log khabhi khabhi biass ho jate ha agar mummy koi baat kahe tho tik aur MIL kahe tho galat .meri MIL kah rahi ha ki tum shopping karo new baby ke liye but mummy ne mana kiya ha aur maine mummy ki baat mani kuki ye unka belife ha ki 8 month me shopping nagi karte that all , purani soch ha but agar mere baby ke liye tik ha tho mai manati hu ki aap bhi maane jis tarh hum apni mummy ko apna wel wisher mante ha MIL bhi tho waisi hi ha yaar

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1 week ago

Parul Johari

just tell ur husband and u both can shot it out this lil issue.

keep calm because baby is on the way hahaha😚😚

Shipra Dang lol maza aaya tead ker k😉😉

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1 week ago

Meeta Rajani

I agree with what asha chaudhry said and hospital clothes a big no no..I would even prefer​ not staying in the hospital for long after delivery because there are so many patients and not always hygienic ...Also relative clothes, you can take from them and get new ones also and wash them simple..she also happy...u also happy and u know these things frustrate but being calm always helps us take good decsions ...I have learnt this a lot throughout my pregnancy..I used to always get affected by what others say but then I slowly learned in this phase :)

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1 week ago

Ramya Nair

same happen with me too..I too was nt allowed,so due to DAT evn my mom dint buy anything..BT latr wen she cm fr delivery few days bfr she HD buyer all d stuff..me n my parents felt like v Wer ditched..

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1 week ago

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