Q:

My kiddo is very quick to catch things we take care what to speak in front of him but when he plays outside or meets new people we cannot control that environment recently my kid has started talking like when we scold him Ki ap chahte ho main mar Jau? Or main mar jaunga?
I tried talking to him but somehow these lines have made impression on him how to handle it



Kavita Sahany

Hey don't worry ...kids pick up fast I know but also they forget fast if kept away from the source of this behavior...
Try to give good company to the kids ...let them play with good friends and monitor whenever possible ...change the friend circle if you think it's having a negative effect ...
Teach good things and read our good books m sure he will forget those words fast ...

asha chaudhry

hi nandita, everyone has been here. the best thing is to sit him down and talk about it and try and explain right from wrong. after that you have to ignore it. when we react immediately, kids feel encouraged. once you have explained to him that this kind of language hurts you and saddens you if he still uses it u pls don't react, but be sure you've sent a signal that you are not happy with him. do the blank wall. tell him if he uses this kind of approach you will become a wall. you'll need to be gentle and creative about it. also pls try to find out where he is picking it from - tv or other kids. try to distract him with a completely new activity like sports or art where he will get engrossed in something new and hopefully he will forget this latest catch phrase. my nephew was all of 3 years when he picked up desi gaalis from the watchman's son of the same age. it would be very embarrassing when he would go to my dad's (his nana) office and bako all those things :(

asha chaudhry

let me tag more moms for you! tc. and be patient. this too shall pass.... also pls try making him read books like pepper, disney characters etc that have a positive influence on kids. my child used to love dora and charlie & lola.

asha chaudhry

Priya Sood Manveen (Motheropedia_Blog) Nisha Dayal Ujjwal Mishra(SuperMommy) Aditi Ahuja pls help

Nisha Dayal

While playing make him understand that it's not a good thing to talk like that.;;; Does he go to school or playschool?; Ask the teacher to talk generally about it in the class and explain it to all the kids that its bad to talk like that. Don't scold him.;; Read books to him. All the best.

Aditi Ahuja

Hi Nandita...my daughter is 8 years old and even I have faced this with her...main ghar chodkar chali jaungi...I told her about a poor; child's life and since then she has stopped... because we live in a society and kids have to meet people and go to school also, they sometimes pick up wrong words and habits too..its good that you have taken notice of all this. Firstly if the kid says that main mar jaaoon to tell him that how precious he is to you and his dad. Also we don't realize but inside their heart our kids love us too very much. Try telling him that if tomorrow you start saying ki main mar jaaon...how will he feel and will he be able to live without you...share stories from your childhood as to how you also were disciplined when necessary and loved a lot too. Also share good moral stories like lord Rama was sent to woods for 14 years but still respected his mother....tell him that appreciation on good deeds and disciplining on wrong is a part of every child's journey and it is to bring out the good in him...if you wont correct him later outsiders will...which will be bad.

Nandita Sharma

Hey guys, loving the suggestions you guys are pouring I will try them... for now we did extended talk about what hurts Mumma n papa but I haven't still able to get to the source from where he has picked it. His school, colony friends or Tv but yes we need to teach him right or wrong I know he didn't mean when he says mar jaoon but he should know what's bad and rectify even his friends if he hears them saying such things.

Revauthi Rajamani

Hi mommy
Children are easily amused by new words. But the fact is that they use it mostly at the right places but they have no knowledge about the meaning of that word.
If they try to pick up a bad word, don't over react, Stay calm and explain them that the word they used is not acceptable.
If at the first place you express shock or resort to punishment, they may use it as a tool to provoke you each time they want something.
Instead tell the child that such language is inappropriate, and that if he/she still chooses to use such language, there would be consequences.
Closely watch your child and see why n where they use this word like when they are angry or emotional, or something else.
So that you can teach them the right word to be used at that point of time to express them.
Reinsist, but don't reinforce it needs patience n time

Manveen (Motheropedia_Blog)

Hi Nandita. Take this as a learning experience and take care in future. I'm not sure if you can do much damage control but perhaps admitting to your kid that thwse words sound really bad and maybe you (mom) was wrong in using them. Confessing to your kid can be a great tool. :)

Nandita Sharma

Manveen (Motheropedia_Blog) I didn't get you what confession and damage control

Manveen (Motheropedia_Blog)

Damage control of the situation...and confessions because I'm assuming somewhere he may have heard / observed episodes of emotional outburst at home. I know I've used some inappropriate language in front of my kids and when it boomeranged on me, i apologized to the kids.
As for the environment, you cant control people..you will have to continue counselling him and empowering him between what is right and wrong.

Nandita Sharma

Manveen (Motheropedia_Blog) oh we know him quite well and had our shares of problem with him when he heard something at home and processed it but like I said in the question we are quite cautious about it but can't control environment outside home. He has heard it from his friends we can't control this or every time he hears something bad we can't just ask to change his friends but how to teach him that recent thing he heard is bad and should not be used

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