How to answer those ‘Sex’ related questions that your child asks you? – Part 2
Q. We keep hearing about incidents happening around with kids at a very young age. What you have to say about it?
A. These incidences have been happening for years. It's just being brought out in the open now.
Q. I have a 3.5 years old daughter and I have started telling her about good touch, bad touch and the secret places in body etc… but now whenever any unfamiliar male like our friends start talking to her she gets reserved and tell me "Mama he is the bad uncle" and it gets difficult to then make her understand the difference.
A. Exactly my point. At such young and tender age, we cannot sensitize them about "good or bad", they are too young to understand. Please refrain from using "good / bad touch" Introduce SAFE/UNSAFE TOUCH. Hug her everyday which will help her differentiate between an appropriate / inappropriate touch. She is too little to take care of herself. It's your duty to make sure she is safe. We do not want to scare her by making her believe that every person may be a bad person. So just be aware and sure of the people you are keeping your child with.
Q. As unaware as we could be, we as parents kissed our children on their lips. But to my terror, my baby responded back one day. This 2 years old boy of mine is quite sensitive and reserved so it shocked the hell out of me. I let it pass it once thinking we should stop kissing them on the lips. But it happened out of habit a few times and he responded 2 more times. I called up school and updated them to be careful as the 'responding' part is something they have never witnessed and I was sure about it. Gradually it went away and we don't kiss our kids on the lips. Sorry for the big story, but I can list a few more incidents where we as parents are so insecure and scared about our children's safety that we panic at these instances. Is there a way to tell if that's the baby's learning on their own or if something has happened with them?
A. Babies learn from us. Not what we talk but learn from our actions. So if we say we love them and then express by kissing on their lips. They will too. Avoid kissing on the lips. Kids don't know the difference. You do!
Q. Can we feed infants in front of older siblings?
A. Yes, why not? It's the most natural thing to do. Our kids also learn the functions of the breasts and respect women and not just lust them. It's absolutely ok. But make sure it does not become a habit that whenever the mother sits down to feed, the child comes running to see her. That's unhealthy. Feed the curiosity then introduce the topic of not seeing anyone's private parts so the child will have to leave the room.
Also read - How to find out if your child has been sexually abused?, All you need to know about the ill effects of Child Sexual Abuse, How To Help Your Child Protect Him/Herself From Child Sex Abuse, What Must You Know About Child Sexual Abuse?, The Essential 5 Step Guide to Empower your Child Against Child Sex Abuse.
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