How to answer those ‘Sex’ related questions that your child asks you? – Part 3
Q. My girl is only 3 years old and my boy is 14. He is watching porn movie in his bedroom, I don't know how to react. Please advise.
A. With the current technology and the gadgets kids have, they are bound to be introduced to porn intentionally or unintentionally. You will need to find an opportunity and educate him about porn. Before you talk to him, make sure your language and thoughts are in sync with this generation. That will help in taking your concerns across. The average age of kids who tumble upon porn is 10 yrs. I have had cases where 8-year-old kids have seen porn. At 14, yes you should talk about the sexual activity.
Q. My elder son is 9 years old, I haven’t discussed anything specific to him, until recently when he was discussing the weird condom with his friends, I gave him some answer but of course not the actual meaning. Problem is now, I have forgotten what explanation I had given him. How do I handle such a situation?
A.The best thing as I mentioned earlier is to read and keep yourself updated. You should introduce certain topics before they ask and some when they ask. Create an atmosphere at home where your children feel safe to come and ask their questions. They should trust you to give them correct and honest answers. It's time for you to introduce a lot of topics with him. Start with the changes he will now have when he hits puberty. That will open the doors of communication.
Q. I have a growing son aged 7years. Very curious whatever he sees around. He recently asked me what a bra is why men don't wear it. Also he is curious to know what sanitary pads are and why only women advertise it. Is this the right age and how to answer him?
A. There is no age for questions. If they are exposed they will want to know. It could be any topic. Be happy that your child trusts you to answer him. Talk to him, answer him honestly, not to avoid the topic but with the intention of educating him.
Q. My kid is of 2.8 years old and one day he was asking mamma where is your susu... I wasn’t sure what to answer, is this the right age to tell him and how to tell?
A. Tell him girls have a different organ and it’s called VULVA. Your area is called PENIS.
Q. If I may answer some of the questions of the kids' curiosity about condoms and undergarments, I feel that there is no harm in telling them the purpose of these in a more scientific/cryptic way to satisfy their curiosity. It is better to teach them ourselves than let some stranger do the needful. Am I right, Niyati? Please correct me if I am wrong.
A. You are absolutely right! Teach them ourselves, but for that first, be comfortable with the topic. If you try to tell them something you are not convinced yourself, they will know you are not the right person to ask.
Niyati also suggested-
- There is a process which a parent needs to follow to introduce the understanding of what the kids should be taking care of. I would suggest you to read the articles – How to find out if your child has been sexually abused?, All you need to know about the ill effects of Child Sexual Abuse, How To Help Your Child Protect Him/Herself From Child Sex Abuse, What Must You Know About Child Sexual Abuse?, The Essential 5 Step Guide to Empower your Child Against Child Sex Abuse.
- Do not Google anything with your child around. It gives them the impression that it's ok to google for answers.
- We do not want our children not to trust anyone. This can bring in major issues with relationships in their adult life.
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