4 Parenting Anecdotes From Kiran Manral That Will Make You Laugh At Your Own Mommy Saga!

Excerpts from Manral’s – Karmic Kids: The Story of Parenting Nobody Told You.

We at BabyChakra have always brought you mums, the best dope on children’s books and literature so that your kid is never short of a good read.

This time though, in sync with the Festivelle spirit – the two day women’s only festival partnering with BabyChakra – we have decided to treat our Mom Stars with some bookspiration instead!!

We totally understand that you moms deserve as much, to take some time off from your daily chores, as anyone else. You deserve sometimes, to just put up your feet and read! Precisely why, we bring you the perfect leisure reading experience from a writer who knows your plight just right.

A mother, an author and a woman of substance herself, Kiran Manral is a celebrated Indian author who writes on all things parenting and women. One of her most acclaimed works is – Karmic Kids: The Story of Parenting Nobody Told You.

Here are some excerpts from the book where Kiran takes you through the turmoil and chaos of early motherhood while also managing to pass on some crucial parenting advice. The anecdotes and reminiscences of the first few years of her son’s life have been worked into some literary gems by Kiran’s lingual prowess and impeccable wit! Here are some…

On the most gruesome of all breast feeding terrors – teething

“They (breasts) have survived mastitis, sore and cracked nipples, and the most gruesome of all feeding terrors – teething. You kept them functional, applied the lanolin cream, and when the teething began, you gritted your own teeth when the baby latched on, or you turned to formula and beat yourself up with guilt. Not to mention the guilt if you ate something that could be responsible for giving the baby an upset stomach or a tummy ache. One learns early on that the primary emotion of motherhood is guilt on a loop”

On post-partum bleeding and regaining the sex drive

“Some doctors give their patients nooky-go ahead only when the lochia stops; that’s the post-partum bleeding which is basically nine months of having no periods made up for all at once, and damn, why did no one prepare me for these rivers of blood that would be pouring out of my body for what seemed like weeks and weeks, and so much of it that I was amazed I was still able to totter around without collapsing or needing blood transfusions? So, put together body issues, hormones on the PPD roller-coaster, a stomach that flaps to its own tune, an infant that demands hourly feedings, diapers that need to be changed, stitches that need to heal, and lochia that refuses to stop flowing, who could even want to have sex in the midst of all this?

But, take a deep breath. As the one who has been there, done that, worn the T-shirt, never mind the stained front, take it from me that it will come back. Slow and steady. And then, all at once. You just need to be patient.”  

On childproofing the house

“Childproofing assumed new urgency when we discovered that the edge of the dining table, rounded by glass, was at approximately eye level of the child seated in the Noddy car, going forth in a manner that no hellhound could hope to better. The carpenters were hastily summoned and the house childproofed. Safety gates, latches, rounded, padded corners to sharp-edged furniture, kitchen cabinets with the occasional edge that stuck out, now sandpapered into smoothness. The low French windows, which we thought were the bee’s knees when we got the house redone, were now the biggest risk seeing as the brat was hauling himself up on them approximately a hundred times an hour.”

On beginning play school

“What did you learn at school,’ I ask him while shovelling in the daily nutrients. ‘Ay-Bee-Chee-Dee…’ he rattles off, segueing the twenty-six into a compact eight including Ex-Vai-Zed. On occasions, he would sit still and line up the beads on his abacus and instruct me in all seriousness to pay attention, ‘Vun, too, thee, fore …’ and God help me if I didn’t pay attention while he is in an instructive mood. ‘Mamma,’ he will say, little voice laden with reproach and rebuke, ‘pay tenshun!”

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