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A Mom's Ultimate Revelation on Stillbirth

Every expectant mom counts the months, weeks and finally days as she nears her due date. I did too. Throughout my pregnancy I was in good health and my BP was normal. It was important that my BP measures normal since I was told I could be prone to Gestational hypertension. Considering both my sister and mom had it during their pregnancies. But since all was normal, I went on preparing and eagerly waiting for the arrival of my little one.

 

Out of the blue one morning, I woke up to swollen feet. This overnight swelling did surprise me but elders said it was normal so I didn’t pay much heed. Discomfort too is common during the last trimester, so one night when I kept tossing in bed I tried to push away the feeling. The next morning I called my gynecologist and reported what had happened. At the precise moment I hung-up on him, I noticed my clothes had stained. What started with normal bleeding turned into lumps and clots. I found it difficult to walk and was rushed to the hospital.

 

I remember standing in a pool of blood and thinking about how our dream of welcoming our first child was turning into a dreadful experience. My palms and hands had begun to swell, everything was blurring and a gush of blood was streaming down my thighs. The doctor could not detect my baby’s heartbeat.

 

In the labour room an Ultrasound was conducted where I heard the doctors discuss that mine was a severe case of placenta abruption due  to high blood pressure. I had suffered from a severe preeclampsia with extremely critical internal bleeding.

 

Preeclampsia is a life threatening complication which can cause fetal or maternal death or both. It is due to a sudden rise of blood pressure. In my case my blood pressure shot up overnight. This is a rare occurrence, 1 in 1000 pregnant women suffers from it.

 

The doctors told me that they will attempt a normal delivery, as performing a C-section would be risky. Unfortunately even after 6 hours I did not dilate beyond 2.5 cms, and finally despite high blood pressure and the risk of me bleeding, a C-section was performed.

 

About 24 hours later I gained consciousness, to find myself on a ventilator. I passed out again. In the middle of the night when I woke up again my hubby informed me that our baby boy who was born premature had to be in the NICU. Despite everything, I heaved a sigh of relief. Thirty-two hours later I was declared out of danger.

 

Once I gained consciousness I was told; our first born, our baby boy had passed away in my womb, twelve hours before I was brought to the hospital. My hubby was forced to hide the truth fearing the rise in my blood pressure which could have been fatal for me. The doctors saved my life but had they not got a control over my internal bleeding, they would have had to surgically removed my uterus. But thanks to them, I still have a chance at being a mommy again.

 

Yes, there were days when I experienced audible hallucinations of a baby crying and of fetal heartbeats. Even now after 6 months as I pen this, my eyes are brimming with tears. Till date, I don't know what caused the unfortunate complication but I am certain it was something I could not control.

 

What I am in control of is my lifestyle today. I now take care of my body, keep a close watch on what I eat, stay dedicated to my gym sessions and try to stay occupied all day.

 

Why am I telling you my story? For one reason alone, to remind all you wonderful women out there that we have the ability to give birth and no matter what life throws at us, we have it within us to come out as survivors. Everybody is special and our testing times are destined only to make us strong and better versions of ourselves. Remember ladies we are helpless only till our nail polish dries :)

Cheers to us!

 

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Comments (25)



Nasrin Ali

eyes full with tears..may god bless u dear

Divya Chopra

god bless.... just pray to god that next time everything goes well... all the best...

Beenu Saxena

Komal I can understand u better since I had also lost ma first baby on the fourth day of her birth.I also did not get a chance to take my baby in ma arms.
while posting m still crying but we don't have control over,
however god has given me another hope with in a year.
This is ma 8th month.
But that trauma is still with me and ma hubby.
But we are eagerly waiting for the New little who is suppose to come in couple of weeks.
don't worry god will give ur baby back to u soon with good health.
god bless u

Aneesha Jain

A big salute to a mom like you.

firdous zaki

heart touching story

Piasley Raj

no words to convey, as a mother it's very terrible feeling. I ll just pray for ur future. hope for good.

मधु अपराजिता

strong woman..i salute you..

Namita Jain

Komal you are an incredibly strong woman. thank you for sharing your story and inspiring us to follow a healthy lifestyle and having an optimistic mindset despite certain challenging situations that test us and make us better individuals

Vruchika Vithalani Jain

hi komal i can truely understand u becoz i too suffered from preeclamsia n i was also operated when my 7 month just started when doctor said that there r very little change on my vaby to survive but overcoming all odds my baby was born with just 960g of birth weight n was in nicu for 46 days ...bt now he is totally fine..so dont worry all wil be fine..just dont lose hope..

Sheeba Vijesh

Before becoming a mom, i could only sympathise... but now, its too painful to hear such stories... i myself was on the verge of losing my baby during pregnancy... it takes great courage to write this out... lots of love Komal... God bless you...

Komal Parekh

Thank you all the lovely women out here .

Dhara Popat

salute to u komal..  my tweenies wer also born one n half month premature..  and my daughter was on ventilator bt with god's grace things fell apart and now both r fyn n me too..  b postive dear..  hats off

Sweta Nagubandi

Loved the positivity ... ever gets so weaker.. but glad that you have become more strong.. . may god shower all the happiness you deserve. Hats off!

Prithvi Balaji

hey Komal your situation is totally understandable as even I lost my pre-term but healthy baby for a hospital borne infection. You have to be brave and move on and as you rightly said we are helpless and we have to trust HIM and move on for our loved ones. I had my daughter to help me out of that situation and after that GOD has given me a son.

Shahila Beig

one of the best inspirational story I hve ever heard.... I suffered from depression after 6weeks of miscarriage but dis story really inspires mee... Thnxx for sharing such stories... my heart and mind is filled with positivity after reading dis

aradhana sharma

dear a big warm hug to you. salute to your positivity. i have faced severe complication of gestational diabetes in my last trimester though i had no complication till my second trimester.i can understand the pain . sometimes time is tough but a brave heart like you can cross any storm which comes on way. god will bless u dear, and is around. stay blessed. 

Priyanka Jaisinghani

hey dear....prayers with u...may u be blessed with little wonder soon :) ...may God bless u :*

Syed Alina Farhad

ur story gave me goosebumps...bt u deserve a salute👍may god fulfill ua drmz n bless u with ua baby soon..ol da bst fr ua future dear...stay strong😙

Preetjyot Kaur(mylittlemuffin)

You are such a strong woman Komal... I just can't even imagine what u must have exonerated through... Ur story gave me goosebumps... M so happy u have stood up with a positivity... May God bless u with a wonderful baby soon...

asha chaudhry

gosh komal. this is one of the bravest stories i've read. more power to you, your courage, your spirit. you are one amazing woman of strength. salute! tc and always always inspire. much love.

Nilofer shaikh

Goose bumps all over my body. I am reading this first thing first being still on my bed. As i read, i could picture it all. Almighty has stayed with you through this and has got you out of it I am sure there is a lot of love coming your way. Baby loss is not a small loss but the positives are always to look ahead and move ahead. Look upto you for your spirit and calm. God bless you and your angel up there. And may you soon have the healthy baby of your dreams your way!!

Komal Parekh

Nilofer shaikh - Thank you... God has been very kind.. Presently I am 20 weeks along with twins!! Am sure all is going to go well this time

sheetal loonker

Hats off to you lady.. U have shown so much courage to share all this..i cant even imagine the pain you would have gone through.. But may god bless you with all the happiness n ur baby soon..best wishes for you....

prakruti Pathik

God bless you and your family. Tears fall my cheeks as I read this. As already said by other people here that untill you are mom you can only sympathize. You are really strong and courageous women to write it down. I wish you a healthy boy or girl next time.

AMRITA MALLIK

Great courage! I salute ur courage. It's really inspiring to me as i crib for silly things in life, i do realise that life has mkre to it. It shows how harsh life can be sometimes yet how we have to fight it out. And yes we definitely can if we want to.

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