A Mom’s Ultimate Revelation on Stillbirth

Every expectant mom counts the months, weeks and finally days as she nears her due date. I did too. Throughout my pregnancy I was in good health and my BP was normal. It was important that my BP measures normal since I was told I could be prone to Gestational hypertension. Considering both my sister and mom had it during their pregnancies. But since all was normal, I went on preparing and eagerly waiting for the arrival of my little one.

Out of the blue one morning, I woke up to swollen feet. This overnight swelling did surprise me but elders said it was normal so I didn’t pay much heed. Discomfort too is common during the last trimester, so one night when I kept tossing in bed I tried to push away the feeling. The next morning I called my gynecologist and reported what had happened. At the precise moment I hung-up on him, I noticed my clothes had stained. What started with normal bleeding turned into lumps and clots. I found it difficult to walk and was rushed to the hospital.

I remember standing in a pool of blood and thinking about how our dream of welcoming our first child was turning into a dreadful experience. My palms and hands had begun to swell, everything was blurring and a gush of blood was streaming down my thighs. The doctor could not detect my baby’s heartbeat.

In the labour room an Ultrasound was conducted where I heard the  doctors discuss that mine was a severe case of placenta abruption due  to high blood pressure. I had suffered from a severe preeclampsia with extremely critical internal bleeding.

Preeclampsia is a life threatening complication which can cause fetal or maternal death or both. It is due to a sudden rise of blood pressure. In my case my blood pressure shot up overnight. This is a rare occurrence, 1 in 1000 pregnant women suffers from it.

The doctors told me that they will attempt a normal delivery, as performing a C-section would be risky. Unfortunately even after 6 hours I did not dilate beyond 2.5 cms, and finally despite high blood pressure and the risk of me bleeding, a C-section was performed.

About 24 hours later I gained consciousness, to find myself on a ventilator. I passed out again. In the middle of the night when I woke up again my hubby informed me that our baby boy who was born premature had to be in the NICU. Despite everything, I heaved a sigh of relief. Thirty-two hours later I was declared out of danger.

Once I gained consciousness I was told; our first born, our baby boy had passed away in my womb, twelve hours before I was brought to the hospital. My hubby was forced to hide the truth fearing the rise in my blood pressure which could have been fatal for me. The doctors saved my life but had they not got a control over my internal bleeding, they would have had to surgically removed my uterus. But thanks to them, I still have a chance at being a mommy again.

Yes, there were days when I experienced audible hallucinations of a baby crying and of fetal heartbeats. Even now after 6 months as I pen this, my eyes are brimming with tears. Till date, I don’t know what caused the unfortunate complication but I am certain it was something I could not control.

What I am in control of is my lifestyle today. I now take care of my body, keep a close watch on what I eat, stay dedicated to my gym sessions and try to stay occupied all day.

Why am I telling you my story? For one reason alone, to remind all you wonderful women out there that we have the ability to give birth and no matter what life throws at us, we have it within us to come out as survivors. Everybody is special and our testing times are destined only to make us strong and  better versions of ourselves. Remember ladies we are helpless only till our nail polish dries 🙂

Cheers to us!