When you’re pregnant, they tell you, “Life will change after the baby.” But it’s only when you become a parent that you realize how mammoth of a change, parenthood actually is. Sometimes in the middle of endless diaper changes, feeds, milestones and laundry, I tend to drift away and fondly remember my pre-baby days. I’m not alone I guess - Baby Dove’s Real Mother’s Heard Survey points out that around 62% Indian mums miss their old life! Nearly 7 in 10 mothers in India feel they never have enough time for themselves. That’s not very shocking is it…Well, here’s sharing the things that I miss from my life before I became a mum. Don’t you?
Obvious one! But gone are the days when I could hit the bed and wake up straight after eight solid hours of sleep. You feel you might finally get back your sleep mojo once your baby sleeps through the night, but then they continue to wake up for other things, like - ‘peeing’ ‘water’ or ‘bad dreams’.
My pre-baby body
I could boast of fitting into skimpy blouses and outfits despite eating chocolate pastries every day in my pre-baby days. Now? Breasts, butt and tummy – all of them seem to be travelling southwards. Looking at the mirror makes me gasp everyday as I don’t recognize myself. What’s worse is that as per the Baby Dove survey - nearly 9 in 10 Indian mothers feel the pressure to look good.
When there was no baby, I had no care in the world. Now I worry every single minute. I worry if I am doing the right thing for my baby. Worry about whether my baby is healthy, feel guilty about something I did (or didn’t do) or terrified of some imaginary harm coming over him. These thoughts overcrowd my thoughts and drain me out.
A nice clean house
I’m still coming to terms with missing this one. The once spic-and-span, out-of-a-magazine house now looks like a Lego, clothes and crayon dump yard. My maid refuses to help me beyond a limit, and considering how tough it is to get a good maid, I’ve learnt to tolerate mess.
New shade of lipstick and sexy pair of shoes? Why not! The pre-baby me would hardly think twice before indulging. The post baby me would rather spend that money on diapers (which cost a bomb) or save that money for preschool. Never thought raising a pint-sized human would be so expensive, right?
Some space and me time
I sometimes wish that I could have my tea, stare out of the window, watch some TV, eat my lunch -, without getting interrupted by the tiny human in my house who will poop, pee or hurt himself exactly when he sees me sitting down for a bit. If you find a hairy bear in my house, don’t worry. That bear is probably me since going to the parlour hasn’t happened lately. When was the last time I could just quickly change and step out of the house and meet my friends for coffee? I really don’t remember. Me time is something I miss often.
My energy levels
Where did all the energy go? Partying hard into the wee hours of the night yet waking up in time for work the next day was a done thing before I became mum. Now, I’m ready to hit the sack even before my child is and I cannot imagine getting through the day without coffee to fuel me.
Equation with my spouse
There are days when my husband and I barely talk about anything else apart from the baby. The long drives, spontaneous dinner-dates or impromptu travel plans also are now a thing of the past. Now even a visit to the mall requires a lot of prep and planning.
Getting less advice
If you have not received enough advice already, having a baby makes you an advice magnet. Everyone from family to friends to the watchman tells you how to parent. They mean well, but sometimes I feel like telling them to just let me do it my way. However, what I’ve realized over the years is that I must rely on my instincts. As moms, we know what’s best for our baby and all we need it a little bit of reassurance to get us going.
Suddenly, I am only my baby’s mum and nothing more. My past accomplishments do not matter anymore as everything is only about the baby. So even when we mums meet for a coffee and conversation, the dialogue is more like, “So how do you make them eat?” or “Which preschool is the best?”
These might be things most mums miss, but ask us whether we would have it any other way, and our answer will be, “No!”
But in the end, I do truly believe that motherhood has been a beautiful and life-changing journey. The one thing I would like to say to other moms is – give up the quest for perfection. Trust your way when it comes to parenting for there is no right or wrong way of being a mom.
I am going to leave all new moms with brand Baby Dove’s philosophy that I fully agree with - there’s no such thing as a perfect mom – just real moms, doing things their way!
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Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by: Baby Dove
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