Is Your Pati Your Parmeshwar?

Somehow I have hit the wrong chords today. Maybe I have gotten up the wrong side of the bed (wish I knew which the right one was). It seems whatever I say is not going well with my mother- in – law and whatever she is saying is seemingly irritating me to the core.

 

One such topic spruced up. I heartily try to avoid these as somehow I am unable to keep my mouth shut.  But this one was served to me on the platter. Hence I had no choice but to eat it and since I did not like it, I vomited. So, it happened that the husband of her friend seems to help her in household chores daily. So, the other ladies were criticizing her that how it doesn’t look nice that a man should be doing these works. I kept quiet. She chuckled and continued that now her 12 year old son seemed to have shouted, “Dad! You will not do this anymore”. The other ladies were so happy about it!! It seemed as if a prince riding on a white horse had come to the rescue of the trapped princess! This was the point beyond which I couldn’t keep quiet. Bang! An argument ensued. But to no avail. The age old grain that has been sown in such minds have taken the shape of a big banyan tree. No matter how much the wind blows, the roots stay strong.

 

My simple question was, what has the men done to deserve being treated like Gods? Was it justified that a 12-year-old child speaks in such a manner eulogizing the male and demeaning the divine. What values are we putting in their small heads? Will they still carry the baggage of our orthodox past? Had the child said the same thing if his mother would have been doing the chores. No. Because we as a society have stereotyped roles relating to gender. The mothers of a male child have this huge responsibility of raising a man who is sensitive to the women. Thank God! There are exceptions or else, Kalpana Chawla would never have gone in space and Sanjeev Kapoor would never have plated-up a dish.

 

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Also read: I Don’t Fast During Karwa Chauth

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Comments (46)



Priyanka Maheshwari@Momzjourne

Prachi Shiny Vincent nancy singh Sonam patel Sheeba Vijesh Khushboo Chouhan asha chaudhry Sheeba Vijesh Dhara Popat Rakhi Puri (beautyofmommying) Sonam patel Roopashree Siddireddy Nasreen Mansoor Shruti Giri Sumira Bhatia Naiyya Saggi Neha Agarwal Priya Sood Prisha Lalwani (Mummasaurus) Charu Sareen Gujjal(TheMomSagas) Aradhana Sharma Ankita Popli Dr. Shilpitha Shanthappa Sweta NagubandiShruti Giri Sonam patel nancy singh Pooja Harneet Khurana Sony (Amrita) Bhrukuti Mistry @manvibhandari

Sumira Bhatia

You write so well!! I don't know if this makes me frustrated or annoyed or just sad! I am lucky my husband thinks it makes him more man than sitting on his arse not doing anything

Nasreen Mansoor

So well written..

Aishwarya Shukla

My husbnd is my life

Varsha Rao

my hubby is my all of.he is my heartbeat

Priyanka Maheshwari@Momzjourne

Thank u so much sumira.. yeah even my hubby is the same...thank god! The genes did not pass on.. in fact, when they had come here for the first time, our maid skipped a day. The night utensils were done by my hubby.. on my! My mil went white.. but now she is used to.. he he

Sonam patel

Add me too Sumira Bhatia; Priyanka Maheshwari

Pooja singh

This is so well written.

Nilofer shaikh

In a family where my mil boasts that she serves tbe best food to her family so that the men and others grow healthier, not even a glass is ever enforced to be picked up my any males especially my bil. But my husband i dont know if he had divine intervention that his wife is gonna be an anti 'men are the kings of the homes' he has always been helpful around in his home as well as now in ours. Though his mom never forced or fekt necessary to teach the men to help around but she readily takes the credit for her eldest sons helpful and homely nature. But i have my fil to thank for. I have seen him being so kind and always ready to do the chores around the home to my mil in all aspects that i know my husband has learnt from him while my bil remains ignorantly boastful of being a man who doesnt help home.
Lucky me for my husband. God bless him

Kartik Kujur

Wow! Loved it! We seriously need to stop the stereotyping. Since I can proudly boast that I try to help my wife in almost everything, my child's going to learn the same.

Priyanka Maheshwari@Momzjourne

We all know what an amazing husband you are Kartik Kujur .. n an even more amazing dad.. yes, you said it right..children learn from us... n esp dads...

Priyanka Maheshwari@Momzjourne

Nilofer shaikh .. lucky you.. just like me.. i seriously wonder what the old generation thought.. that making their males work around house would lessen their body or probably would it result in less authority of the female around the house, now that the men has a hang of it..

Priyanka Maheshwari@Momzjourne

Thank you @poojasinghmalasi

Priya Sood

Awesomd one....

Priyanka Bhattacharya

Very well written

Nilofer shaikh

This is exactly what I was looking for.
cut the stereotype. thanks @priyanka maheshwari.

Priyanka Maheshwari@Momzjourne

Thank u for teh appreciation Nilofer shaikh

Dr. Payal M

So well written. I hope people in all corners of our country start realising that yes, females cook, clean n raise kids n males go to work in most houses, but its not abnormal or demeaning if the roles are reversed at times.
Infact it shud be a matter of pride for a mom to say that yes, my son can change his babies diaper, can cook for his wife n come home to help his wife with chores n so on.

Dr. Payal M

Luckily my hubby can manage the entire house in my absence n cook most things . Hes done every baby chore too

Divya Amit Jain

Well written

Priyanka Maheshwari@Momzjourne

Absolutely dr.payal.. mothERS should actually take pride if their sons can manage in the absence of ladies... n lucky u... god bless

Richa Kaushik

My huby is my better half....He is always there...For kitchen...For baby...I hve never washed clothes after my marriage; not even mine. ...not a single hanky....He is my bestest buddy😍

Priyanka Maheshwari@Momzjourne

God bless both of u rich

Dr.Dhanya Prajesh

Well written..loved it

Kiran parija

I have done love marriage...so my husband is my life and my love....I am so happy with him...I can't leave without him....

Priyanka Maheshwari@Momzjourne

Nice to hear that kiran.. i m sure most of the wives here feel the same. They live their husbands a lot

Sakshi verma

This is so well written.

Ankita Mishra

Wives might call their men as permeshwar if their deeds are good enough to be considered like that. Lucky are u people, I am at my worse, where hubby is not at all asking my health nor does his family soon after I became pregnant as and they hv left me at my parents place now, where I should seek financial help and motherly support ..my phone had saved my hubby's no. As pati dev, today only modifying it as demon ..

Vidya Rathod

So well writtenPriyanka Maheshwari@Momzjourne . The same mind set my mil had. But my hubby is super supportive. He washes dishes, do loundry, even cook smallmeal . As per I know mil have mind set like "if their son in law take good care of their daughter he is gem of a person if her son take care of their Dil he is jhoru ka gulam."

Vera PG

Kartik Kujur I know that u r a good man but still the usage of word "HELPING " wife in house chores should be stopped as it is not the primary responsibility of a women only to do all the work. It should be like both partners do all the work with equal responsibilities specially when a women is working n otherwise too. N man should never show it or say to her women during fights too that m doing so n so work..N bla bla... house work should be shared. How does a man will feel if women says that I am helping my husband to do house work? I am glad that I don't have these help word in btwn me n my husband. He shares equal responsibilities even though he is working n m not. So that I can study further n set up a business side ways. Even now m on complete bed rest during pregnancy where he is the only one taking care of my needs n house too along with his 8 hrs of working schedule. So blessed n lucky with lovely husband who is very different as compared to my 2 bro in laws who don't even pick a glass for their wife n for their mother.

Kartik Kujur

Vera PG : Lucky you to have a husband like him. I am sure my wife feels the same for me. Everyone is different. I say I 'help' because I have a shift job and it takes a toll on me as well. Have you stayed awake night after night every night for a whole week and again gone to office for another shift at day. Night's sleep is a night sleep and how many hours you sleep in day you just can't make up for it. But still be able to 'help',; yes you read it right, is a pretty big deal for me and my wife. She knows how much I love her and she appreciates it. She is just as grateful to me just as I am to her. Just as I am blessed to have her, she is blessed to have me. I am doing the best I can for my family. And my wife is more vocal than what you are so if she had a problem with me she would have said it to my face. She's happy with me is a proof that she's satisfied. And I don't need anyone else to say I'm doing great as a husband and as a father other than my wife and my son. Pardon me if I am being rude. But that's what I have to say.

Vera PG

Kartik Kujur sorry if I hurt u.. I think u took it wrong. I am just against the word help. S.. even if one can do even 15min of housework in busy schedule like urs..i still can b said as sharing of work... N s my husband too is doing 3 shifts alternatively week wise.. so I can understand that its very difficult to complete the sleep during daytime. I respect you.. I never talked against u.. it was my wrong way of writing my thoughts to convey my msg.. sorry.
My husband is too struggling very badly with his shift timing n cooking at home which results in shorter sleep timings twice a day as m on complete bed rest now

Kartik Kujur

Vera PG: My apologies too...but I said helping because apart from sharing the work load...as a family and as a team we both help out each other in their chores as well...like I cut the vegetables while she cooks and she helps me out with my presentations at work...I am never against sharing the work load and I am proud to do my part well...my wife couldn't complain about it...😁😊

Vera PG

Kartik Kujur same goes her too... Its like we understand, respect n guide each other in each n every thing.. like during vegetables shopping too n during professional life difficulties too.. me n my husband are from different fields bt he thought me many technical IT n electronics related stuff n me increasing his bio knowledge. We discuss everything n; there is not a single thing which is not shared between us.. N s this surely results in healthy n lovely relationship which everyone should get to experience specially in India. So much necessary for stress free family life.

Khushboo Kothari

This is so well written.

shaista hamid

My husband is my life and I love him a lot...
I am lucky that he is my husband..😚

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Radha Priya

the society where having a girl baby is already a crime...... i make sure that she will be loved n pamper more by her father... n i nailed it... my husband manages my daughter sometime better than me.... what else a mom need... ofcourse it took tym n efforts to make him learn to treat girls n pamper them.... he is doing it nicely..... i couldnot make him a pampering husband.... but i gifted my daughter a loving n caring mom like father.. so content me

Prachi Gaikwad

So we'll written dear.. In my family.. Everyone does household work it's not bound to be ladies only.. Now my husband is gonna learn cooking otherwise he is such a sweetheart to help in the chores like cleaning n all..

Punam Bisht

I wish I knew this before

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