Sex after kids: Tips for tired mums to make it happen!

All an exhausted mum thinks of most of the day is when she can jump into bed for some action, right? Err, make that jumping into bed is for some much-needed sleep, and lots of action in her dreams. 

We can’t deny the fact that post motherhood, many things are thrown to the backseat, and an active sex life is one of them. None of us want it to be that way, but sheer exhaustion renders even the best of us helpless, making us go, “I don’t feel like doing it.” But there are few ways a tired mom can fuel up sex after kids to keep the spark alive.

Making sex after kids happen

It’s a chore, but it’s not

You may have read that planning sex after kids is the way to ensure you get some. Yes, planning is the way to go, but don’t treat it like another item off your to-do list. It’s only if you’re involved that you will enjoy the act and want it more. If after sex you get the same feeling as you do after washing dishes, there’s clearly something missing.

Think it, when you act it

Again, involvement is the word. We, mums, are so much about getting things done that we tend to think of to-do lists even in the middle of lovemaking. This lack of interest is rude and may put off our partner. Switching other thoughts off and concentrating on what we’re actually doing, will help.

Relive memories

Look at some honeymoon pictures, and reminiscence the loving touches you two shared when newly married. It helps. Think of the hotel rooms you stayed in, the beds…you get the point. 

Some other time, some other place

If the sack session does not happen in the night, chose another time of the day. Get it on in the morning after the kids leave for school, do it in the weekend afternoon if the kids are away. Be adventurous. Taking it to the kitchen, the living room couch, or the bathroom can heat things up considerably.

Keep aside insecurities

Being insecure about your post-baby body can put you off sex easily, but remember that it’s part of the beautiful you. The more comfortable and confident you’re in bed; the more your man will find you desirable. 

Build up anticipation

Surprise your spouse by sending naughty messages through the day. It will build the anticipation for some action by the end of the day. Your husband will be raring to go, and you will be in that frame of mind as well.

Touchy feely 

Keep the hugs, touches and flirting alive. Subtle touches, kisses and prolonged foreplay are surefire ways to get your mind in the mood to make it happen between the sheets.

Keeping yourself healthy

A long term but important tip to be in good spirits is eating right, getting rest when needed and exercising. These activities increase energy levels and are a must for mums who tend to neglect their health most of the time. 

Have a little calorie boost

If you want it but your body raises the white flag, urge it to keep going with a little snack. Have a biscuit, a chocolate, fruit juice or jaggery to raise the energy for the act.

Communicate

Be open about your feelings about sharing a healthy sexual relationship as a couple. It will greatly help the two of you understand each other’s expectations. 

So dear mum, don’t take on too much, and remember to put some energy aside to make a healthy sexual relationship with your better half possible.

Stay loved!  Show love!