You Know You’re a Parent When…

Despite 9 months of being pregnant or experiencing your spouse’s pregnancy, nothing can prepare you for what it will be like when your baby is living life on the outside. It took a while and a series of “OMG I am a parent!!!” moments to really sink in for me (specially since my motherhood journey, like most, started in a sleep deprived fog). Below are some of the moments that really helped me realize the full meaning of my new role and relationship.

You Know You’re A Parent when:

1. Your whites are no longer white (and your blacks are practically polka dotted).

2. You have bounced around a mall, the vet’s office, a doctor’s office, and every restaurant that you used to be welcomed at.

3. The first sound you make when you are woken up is “shhhh shhhh shhhh.”

4. You begin to recite baby books by heart.

5. You have figured out how to change diapers in a car, at the hair salon, in a car seat, in the middle of a restaurant, in a stroller on the sidewalk or at the beach.

6. You have run from a puddle of spit up in a store (of course, after trying unsuccessfully to clean it with a baby in one arm and the stroller and diaper bag on the other) and pretended like it did not belong to your little human.

7. You have been caught singing nursery rhymes everywhere you go.

8. You have zoned out of conversations  with people because you were checking your baby monitor, or your phone to see if there is any news from whoever is at home babysitting your child.

9. You can’t remember when you last washed your hair (but you know that it’s been a while).

10. You can forget the whole world exists when your looking into your baby’s eyes.

11. You have teared up watching someone else give blood or get a vaccine.

12. You have nursed in public despite looks from people who are weirded out and those who are trying to catch a glimpse (creeps!).

13. You have accidentally flashed people while learning to undress under your clothes (or when your child decides to yank open your coverup.

14. You have had your feet and shoes covered in spit so many times that you now choose to wear flip flops everywhere.

15. You have had to separate the clothes in your closet that are not baby proof.

16. You have showered with your shower and bathroom door open, just incase someone decides to wake up.

17. You have mastered the art of eating steak with one hand.

18. You push away the cutlery on the table before you even sit down, when you have your baby in your arms.

19. You do the laundry more often than you get to drink and dress up.

20. You wake up in the middle of the night to change a soaking wet baby (sometimes because your husband forgot to put a diaper on him).

21.You know what spit up feels like between your toes (and have had to clean snot from someone else’s nose.)

22. You feel sick as hell but wake up and get to work (baby duty) anyway

23. You realize that sleep deprived is your normal state (and you’re not an investment banker)

24. You make restaurant decisions based on whether they have a changing table in the restroom.

25. You can spend endless amounts of time staring at those tiny hands and feet.

26. You know that your life will never be the same again, and you’re happy with it anyway.

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