I thank you for all the patience and love you have been bestowed upon me throughout the pregnancy and now while raising the baby. “Slow claps” I can’t thank you enough for being so understanding and keeping calm while my role as a wife takes a back seat these days.
Life is pretty different now isn’t it? A lot more difficult than we expected !
Our schedules are tighter and the bank account is somehow missing a lot of money. Dinner out is sometimes more trouble than it’s worth. Of course we love this little child more than life itself, but if I'm being completely honest, sometimes I miss just us and the happening times together
I miss the long talks over tea with you and endless gossip late into the night and then sleeping in. I miss being able to take off for the weekend, just the two of us. I miss the road trips with you while we listened to our favorite songs because it made us enjoy the trips. We used to talk about new releases every Friday and our favorite restaurants, but now we are worried about how the baby is sleeping and if that cough will turn into a fever and cold.
And the money. Why is there never enough money? The extra bits we have coming in are no longer going to steak dinners and watching endless movies of the month. It’s been used on diapers and sippy cups and all the other things we have to spend our money on to keep our precious son fed and clothed.
And I know you say you still find me attractive, but the stretch marks and C - section scar dishearten me sometimes. I miss the 28 year-old that could dress like 16 and love the skin she was in. I miss my body and energy levels and now I wonder if I would even recognize myself among the loose skin and hot flashes.
This is in no way implying that I’m unhappy. In fact, I’m the happiest I’ve been, having the honor to bring this little child into the world. I think we can both agree that life is infinitely better with her here. But my heart aches for you.
“Life is so good, but it’s so damn exhausting”
When we’re sitting on the couch staring at the TV because we’re too exhausted to talk. When we fought over who was going to change the diaper or clean up the milk spill. Life is so good, but it’s so damn exhausting.
It’s easy to dive into parenthood but so difficult to meet the day-to-day challenges. Sometimes, it’s just easier to be a mom than to be a wife.
I promise life won’t always be like this. One day, probably before we even realize it, this baby that causes us so many sleepless nights will start keeping us up, wondering when he’ll be home from that party late night. Wondering how he’s feeling before examinations and the night before his wedding. Wondering if he even realizes how much parenthood is going to change his life forever.
Even when I feel like I’m drowning in motherhood, I can’t help but picture you and what we'll look like in 20 years. I want you there with me and I want you forever. But life it just a little bit crazy now and I’m terrible at showing you how much I need you besides asking you to help me clean up the toys.
Thank you for sticking by me and loving me amidst the spit-ups and spilled milk and the poop that gets smeared on the floor. Someday, we will find “us” again and these challenges will be a distant memory. When our handsome little man has found a life of his own, I want you there by my side to hold my hand and tell me how good we did. Raising a child and being responsible for every aspect of their upbringing is a lot to take on.
I’m so happy you’re here with me. And I can’t wait for the next chapter with you.
Your grateful and exhausted partner in life
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