Separation anxiety isn’t just for kids.
Here I am going to talk about a very sensitive issue that we all go through being a mother.
As a first time mother I always felt acutely nervous when I let my daughter away. I would worry about her adjustments or just about miss spending time with her.
The idea of leaving her for just a short amount of time was enough to fill my heart with worries and guilt. Of course I believed that no one else could possibly take care of my daughter better than I could, not for even a minute.
Until when my mom told me - Separation anxiety is the other side of the attachment coin; a healthy bond with my child means a certain degree of discomfort when she’s not there.
Here are few things that I practised to deal with it:
1️. Its ok to feel anxious:
Separation anxiety is a natural part of development as a mother. The goal isn’t to get rid of worry or doubt – in fact, nerves are part of our parenting instinct and they help us make good decisions.
2️. Everyone has a different way of handling a child, and kids are most adaptive:
One of the tough parts about leaving her was the fear that no one else knows the secrets. And that’s true, but kids are surprisingly adaptive. Even as tiny babies, they know the game is different when someone else is in charge. Dad, grandma, or a nanny – those people will find their own way and might surprise you with their tricks.
3️. Separation is important and healthy for child:
Tell yourself you are doing it for the child. It’s healthy for the baby to be taken care of by multiple caregivers. Letting her to trust and be cared by other people only will boosts her to develop a bond and sense that the world is a safe place.
4️ Enjoy your time!!
Think about all the things you have been wanting to do since a long time. It’s important for you to take a break. Steal some alone time with your spouse or your friends. It’s important as a mother to feel happy to spread happiness around baby. .
Just know that attachment doesn’t mean always physically being there. Let your bond with child grow with a consistent message that you will come back.
Also read: Thinking Out of the Gender Box
Explore the entire collection of articles: Parenting Gyaan