You know your little baby is not so little anymore, when you begin to notice his defiant nature. Around 4 years of age, a child is more independent, aware and exposed than before. They form their own individual choices and this is the time, you may start experiencing minor conflicts with your little one.
Instead of getting too worked up about your kid's disobedience, keep calm and try to analyze the root cause of your child's behaviour.
While it's interesting to see your child developing a mind of his own, at the same time, if he is becoming too stubborn and refusing to listen to you at all, it needs proper handling.
Here are some ways I deal with disobedience of my child:
I understand my children are individuals with their own set preferences ( yes already!). So it's natural that our ideas might not match at all times.
Focus on Positive attributes:
When my child gets defiant, there are times when I try to calm him down by talking about his good qualities, the times when he listened to me and he liked my ideas.
Talks and Tales:
When my kids are in a good mood, I talk to them about various things. Most of our conversation happen in the car. Subtly, I re-instate how I appreciate when they are in a cheerful mood , lay emphasis on the importance of listening to elders, cite examples from stories or real life incidents , discuss the cons of disobeying moms and elders.
Kids have an impressionable mind, so tell them as many positive tales as possible which will help them choose the right role models.
If the situation at hand is more serious, instead of yelling and shouting, I try to remain calm. Not easy, though. I give him a break and after sometime, I explain to him why his particular behaviour or demand is unacceptable.
Trust me, children see the point you are trying to make, but only when you explain it to them in a composed manner.
When my child acts like a complete brat, ofcourse I punish him but I try not to prolong it for too long or discuss too much about his certain 'unacceptable' behavior later on. Soon after a show down, I try to divert his attention with jokes or by laughing together at some funny mannerisms of my younger one.
In the whole process, he understands that if he gets rewards for good deeds , he gets punishment when he is disrespectful. Thus, the balance is created.
It may be surprising for you to observe sudden disobedience in your child. Try to understand the changes in his life. Is there some trouble in school or with his friends? If it's trivial , try ignoring it in the beginning. Remember, how you react to your child's defiant behavior makes a lot of difference. Don't lose your sleep over his behavior. No, your child is not the only one being disobedient nor this phase is going to last forever. Incorporating several positive elements in your kid's life such as creative timeouts, stories, walks, play etc definitely works in favour of regulating the disobedient nature in kids.
How do you tackle your child when he or she is disobedient?