Pay RENT To Strengthen The Sibling Bond
What is your best memory you have with your sibling? Was it about sharing a pani puri plate? Or, was it about doing something naughty and hiding it from parents?
Often, we teach our children about sibling bond through our own stories.
Despite the differences in age, personality, and traits we have with our siblings, that bond holds strong importance in our lives.
Who’s the common link between the siblings?
Parents. They act as the bridge between siblings. This makes them a key role player in nurturing a strong sibling bond. Whether it's about moderating a conflict or dousing of rivalry, parents heavily influence sibling bonding.
How do you as a Parent solve conflict & douse off rivalry?
By encouraging activities that foster teamwork, setting kids up to have fun together, and giving kids the tools to work out conflicts in a constructive and respectful manner, parents help siblings develop a good relationship that will carry them through the rest of their lives.
Yes, this effort to create a bonding between kids can be stressful for the parents, but it is possible to make it easier by teaching them to pay R.E.N.T. to each other. What? Yes, you read that right - by paying R.E.N.T. Now, what on heavens does that mean?
RENT is an acronym.
This acronym ( R.E.N.T. ) stands for:
Let’s get to know about RENT in detail.
Paying respect towards siblings is of utmost priority. How do we teach this to children? Ask them to sit next to you whenever there is a fight between your kids. Have a conversation with them. Begin by asking what they like the most about each other. This will bring positivity in the conversation. You may prepare their mind by saying, “I know, right now, you are thinking about what you DISLIKE in each other. However, please cooperate with me for some time.” Say this with a smile. Needless to less, we wish them to respect each other. We CANNOT do this by disrespecting them. A golden rule about relationships is, ‘Our tone is MORE important than our intentions.’ Do ensure your tone is SPOT ON brilliantly for you to make headway.
Slowly, the siblings will learn, having differences of opinions are natural. However, they NEED NOT lead to a fight! Your goal as a parent is to make them believe, they can differ yet they can respect each other COMPLETELY.
Say no to ‘EGO,’ say YES to ‘Empathy.’ Enemy of empathy is ego. EGO triggers the urge to fight. Empathy leads me to think about solutions. Ego destroys things. When we empathize, we build bridges. Agreed, that they may not like a few things about each other. But how they communicate about it with each other, defines their sibling bond. Loud voice and harsh words represent ego. A softer tone and soft language show empathy. Teach your child to be empathetic, not egoistic when it comes to sibling bonding.
So, instead of saying, ‘You are wrong’, we can say, ‘you think differently’. Instead of saying, ‘you are lying’ we can say, ‘I remember it differently’. Instead of saying, ‘you should not have done it this way’, we can say, ‘I would have preferred it ‘that’ way’.
Keep ego away. Keep empathy IN.
Which is the brightest memory you have with your sibling? My favorite one with my sister was, tickling each other when one of us is about to fall asleep. That made our relationship throbbing and sleep time was the most divine time. We felt safe with each other. Naughtiness is a magnet that attracts two human beings to each other.
Share your confusions, mistakes, problems with each other. Ask for help. Transparency is the base for all the above points. No matter what differences of opinion children have with their sibling, transparency each other makes the bonding classily deep. Here is a warning. Transparency without empathy might lead to hurt. Hence, be transparent with empathy. That does not hurt but it nurtures.
So dear friends, please make sure that we as parents teach our child what RENT between siblings is! Your delight when you see your kids bond will be like ‘Kodak’ moments. May you have thousands of such Kodak memories.