Dealing With Kids “Problem Behavior”
Kids exhibit evolving and changing behavior patterns. As they grow, some yell, some scream, some grow quieter, some shy away from speaking their mind, so on and so forth. In the midst of managing work, home, other relationships commitments, we don’t know how to tackle these changing behavior patterns in our kids. It becomes especially tough when we witness disturbing/undisciplined behavior or “problem behavior” in our kids.
The usual parental thoughts when we witness “problem behavior” in our kids:
- Should I ignore the behavior and trust that it’ll go away with time?
- If I ignore the behavior, will it really ever go away?
- Is there something that I can do to fix this behavior?
Changing times brings changing behaviour…
Obsessing over a certain behavior is detrimental to everyone’s emotional health. Look objectively at the behavior to see if it is indeed a problem behavior or do we just need a fresh perspective. It is natural for kids to exhibit distinct behaviors at different stages of their growth. Just find out if it is normal for a child of a certain age to act in some anticipated ways.
Should we parents do anything to fix not just a changing behaviour but a ‘problem behaviour’?
Once we are certain that we are looking at a ‘problem behavior,’ use these pointers to understand what we need to do to solve it.
1. Think about the situation with a calm mind. Ask yourself “Is the behavior a problem FOR the child?” Is the child getting impacted adversely due to this behavior? If yes, then look at the next step.
2. The child probably needs help in learning how to deal with certain situations or emotions.
- Is he getting too angry nowadays? Take a deeper dive to understand is the anger stemming from being misunderstood?
- Is she too shy all of a sudden? Is it because of changes in her body?
- Does he look pained all the time? Is his hurt stemming from a place of distrust?
Dig a little deeper and you will find if there is a problem behind his behaviour. Help him to deal with the problem and you would have solved his behaviour issues.
3. If the behavior is a problem for the parent, and not for the child, can it be ignored?
- Is his room too messed up?
- Is she not hygienic enough?
- Has she just broken up with a friend hence not talking to other friends too?
- Is he not spending enough time with his parents?
If parents believe, the kids will outgrow this behavior soon, just ignore it.
4. If you both parents agree that it’s an annoying behavior, then do something reasonable about it. Always remember to be respectful, kind, and loving towards your kids, even when you are thinking in your head that ‘He/she is driving me up the wall!’
5. If none of what you do works, simply ask for help from your friends, folks, or parenting experts. A new perspective is always a good idea.
Are you having difficulty with a “problem behavior” in your kids? Do write to us about it. We would love to hear and help.
‘Behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion & knowledge.’ - Plato.