What And How To Talk With Your Kids?

Do you get confused and fish for topics to discuss with your children? Do you want to connect with your children but don’t know how?

You read books, ask your friends who are parents, even browse through the  internet for ideas. You look for topics that will help you strike a conversation with your child on different aspects. But now you are running out of ideas and topics.

Hence, we are here with a few brilliant ideas about what and how to talk to your children. Let’s begin our journey & develop a beautiful emotional bond with our child. In order to break the ice and begin your conversation

1. Ask your child, ‘what makes you happy?’

We assume that we know our children and understand things  that make them happy. Get ready to be pleasantly surprised by their responses to this question. You will get to see all the unexpected faces of happiness through your children.

Children are innocent at heart. Adults can see or feel little things and yet ignore. Children, on the other hand, hold on to these feelings. So you will get to hear some innocent and yet promising answers from your children with this question.

This should be your next question to bond on a deeper level with your children. It is important to know about things, emotions, feelings that make your children happy. What’s equally important is to understand why these things, emotions, etc make them happy. So, ask them why that particular thing makes them happy.

How will this question help you?

When you get to learn what makes your children happy it put you in a great role. As a parent, you can do those things and create such moments that make them happy & bond better. It will help you develop a deeper level connect with your child, by being able to reciprocate their feelings and even understand their point of view.

2. Ask your child, ‘what’s up with your life?’

When we catch up with our friends after a long time the first thing we ask them is: What’s happening in your life? This question is a great ice-breaker, as we have witnessed it in the famous ‘FOGG’ commercial :

“Aaj Kal kya chal Raha hain”

FOGG chal Raha hain”

This question will work wonders for you as a parent too. Simply ask your children what is going on with them in their life. You might think that you are a parent so you know exactly what your children do all the time. But, no, you don’t know.

Take a look back at the time. When you were a child do you admit that your parents knew what mischief and fun things you did? No. right? It’s the same with your children too. Be their friend and ask what’s up with them!

How will this question help you?

The questions will help you understand your children. They will provide you with an insight into what’s running in their mind. It will give you an overview of things, incidents, and happening that are their ‘high’ and ‘low’ points. Some children don’t open up quite easily. They won’t simply walk up to you and explain what good or bad happened.

When you ask these questions there is a possibility for them to give you a story behind it. They might let out their emotions, which will help you understand your children.

3. Ask your child, ‘what’s happening in your friend’s life?’

This is another beautiful question that will help you to connect, know and learn about your children. When you bring up this question in your conversations, you show them that we are interested in their lives. That you want to know about their friends. That you want to know how they feel when they are surrounded by their friends.
Also, you need to be careful about being judgemental here. Even if you feel like one or two things your child’s friend has done wrong do not judge. Because that will simply place a wrong idea in your child’s mind. And you don’t want to scare children off and shut their feelings from you.

How will this question help?

Your children’s answer to this question will give you access to know more about your children. What kind of company your child keeps? What are the problems plaguing your child and his/her group? All these questions will be answered without actually asking these questions.

4. Ask your child, ‘if you could do anything, what would you do?’

If you could do anything in the world, what would it be? This is one of the most common activities in the US is Pretend Play. Pretend Play is a game, where parents ask their child to imagine different things, give them different scenarios, and ask them one simple question ‘What would you do? There are many such questions you can ask your children. Just widen your imagination and create some silly and funny questions.

For instance; if you were stuck in a jungle, what would you do?; if you meet a kangaroo what would you do? If we go out for a couple of days, leaving you at home all alone, what would you do?

How will this question help?

This conversion will help your children push their imagination button on. This will help them be able to dream big. Above all, this will help you be the wind beneath your children’s wings.

5. Ask your child, ‘what do you look forward to when you wake up in the morning?’

It’s a simple yet beautiful question. If we think of it, what do our kids look forward to when they wake up? Going to school. Being woken up by their parents. Kissing their mom’s goodbye when they leave for school. To eat the snack you will put in their tiffin for the short break.

There are many answers to this simple question. And, you will be surprised to listen to what your children have to say about it.

How will this question help?

It will help you understand what your children are excited about. You will know what they are truly looking forward to doing, what they are interested in.

6. Ask your child, ‘what if you could rename a color?’

What if you could rename the color Red? This simple question can lead to extremely hilarious conversations. Once again, widen your imagination to widen your children’s. Add some funny and crazy things to finish this question.
For instance; what if you could touch the cloud? What if you could speak 10 languages fluently? What if you could talk to your favorite cartoon?

How will this question help?

It will help you develop the imagination of your child. It will push the boundaries of their conformity and allow them to explore.

7. Ask your child, ‘what would do if you had all the money?’

When asked this questions there are many answers that come from children. ‘I will buy an Island’. ‘I will open a school’. ‘I will help the poor’. “I will go to the moon’. Children could be dreaming of having all the money at times. Everyone does. But, you will get to know what your children plan to do with all that money if they had it only if you talk to them.

How will this question help?

What you will learn is how ambitious your children truly are with their answer to this question. You know of what their aspirations are. You will get to learn if they are even socially responsible.

8. Ask your child what if you could open a shop?

Children can paint a pretty glittery impression here. They would always choose a toy shop or an ice cream shop. If your children are teenagers or pre-teens, they might come up with something else as well. Something like a doctor’s office or a car store. So ask your children what kind of shop they would like to open if they could.

How will this question help?

You will get to understand what drives your child to be motivated enough to open a shop. You will also know if your children are financially wise. If yes, great! If no, you will know what part you have to work on now. Sometimes children also answer this question about the things they are passionate about.

For instance, if your son likes to play with toy cars, he will dream to open a shop for cars. If your daughter is into sports, she might want to open a store for all sports equipment.

9. What kind of thoughts gives you courage?

Courage comes from something we truly believe in. Something you can depend on for strength. If there is anything your children truly believe, they will answer to this question. For many children praying to God gives them courage. While for others their parents give them courage.

Some will believe the quote: Good things happen to good people and this mere thought gives them courage. While some children will look for their courage in Avengers. Any of this, it’s ok. Anything at all. As far as you are sure that your children have courage, even Avengers should be accepted.

How will this question help?

The idea behind asking this question is to know what gives them strength. You will learn what kind of beliefs they have and why for that particular source. Do they even have the courage or not. This will help you understand what role you need to play to further give your children courage.

10. When I hug you, how do you feel?

Before you ask this question in your conversations, we would request to be more affectionate in showing your love towards your children. Children need to feel your warmth and love when they hug you. Its a feeling like freshly baked cookies or bread. You cannot simply describe such a feeling. You simply feel it.

Children will feel your hug when they know they can count on you. When they know that they are safe and secure in your arms. When they know that they can fight every imaginable or real battle when you are with them.

How will this question help you?

The idea behind this question is to understand how can you make them feel secure? How can you make them feel nice? This will help you in connecting with your child emotionally, physically and help you be much closer.

Let’s wrap up:

These conversations will add warmth to your relationship and grow a strong bond out of it. You will create numerous memories out of every topic mentioned. So don’t let time pass by and talk to your children now. Ask these questions and understand your children to help them. Happy parenting! 

Also read: Top 5 Parent-Child Bonding Activities

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