20 Apr 2022 | 4 min Read
Author | 2578 Articles
There has been a lot of conjecture over the course of entire human history about the personality of a child based on the order of his/her birth. In medieval times, the crown of the king used to go to his first born and not his other children. This was based on the mindset that the first child would always be the most hardworking and intelligent which has thus led to many unstable monarchies and governments where the younger child might have been a better option. Hence it is wrong to assume that a child will be good or bad, hardworking or lazy just based on whether they were the first born or the second.
Birth order of a child never determines the personality of the child, it is the type of surroundings and manner the child is raised in that determine his/her personality. Sometimes these mentalities come in the mind of parents as well and thus they start assuming things accordingly and unknowingly start treating the child in the assumed manner itself. This way of raising the child, not the order of birth, ultimately results in the varied personality. Indeed sometimes the parents say that they raised all their children the same way, in the same manner, and same surroundings and yet their children are different from each other. But what they fail to notice are those little details and situations where they treat the children differently and the ones which have large impacts on the child.
There are many examples in our history where such myths were busted but still instead of realizing them as just false assumptions people start criticizing the person responsible for not living up to the mark that they had set for him/her in their own minds. One of the most famous examples is Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam the former President of India. He was the younger child in the family and yet went on to become the President while his elder brother runs a store in their village thus contradicting the myth that the older child is more capable and hardworking than the younger child.
Another example that can be taken is that of King Ashoka who was a middle child and yet was a more just ruler than any of his brothers.
The effects of such presumptions are so deep that the children themselves form their personality based on what the world, the society and most importantly their parents think about them. Thus, focusing more on your younger child or putting more pressure on your elder child by saying that they have to live up to becoming a role model for their younger siblings is not just wrong but a gravely dangerous proposition. As for the role model personality, no child learns from anyone more than their parents, even more than what they learn from their elder siblings. Therefore, instead of trying to make their child as a role model for his/her brother/sister it is more important that the parents themselves become the role models.
All children have potential to do the best in the fields they take a liking to and hence comparing one to the other or putting unwarranted pressure on the children only results in more rebellious nature and a severe downfall in the performance especially till high school ages when the child’s brain is still grasping the entire concept of right and wrong. It is not for us or the society to determine the future of a person just based on the fact that they were first or second or third born.
Instead it is the duty of the parents to make their children stop comparing with each other and also to themselves not let the children think that they get your love based on their order of birth because at the end the sole thing that any child or as a matter of fact any person of any age group craves for is unconditional love which more than usually only the parents are capable of providing.