Do Not Give Your Child The Silent Treatment: Here’s Why

Let’s admit it, silent treatment from our parents and loved doesn’t make us feel good. So when you do the same to your child, he or she will feel insecure and anxious.

The silent treatment may seem harmless, but it can harm a child’s emotional health. It can leave a child feeling vulnerable and get a sense of having no one, or nowhere to go when in trouble. It can even ruin the chances of you sharing a beautiful healthy bond with your child.

Read on to find out more about this commonly used parenting tactic.

What Is Silent Treatment?

Silent treatment is when a person refuses to communicate with another person and chooses to stay silent instead of sorting out a problem by talking. It’s a form of punishment that parents commonly use to make a child realise their mistake. 

At times they might not even acknowledge the child’s presence around them, when they are giving them the silent treatment. 

Why do Parents Use Silent Treatment?

There can be many possible reasons for parents to use silent treatment on their kids. However, generally, they use it to teach their kids a lesson or as mentioned above to make them realise their mistake. There is no physical aggression or yelling but only the silence to put their point across.

Some other possible reasons –

• When they are confronted about an issue
• When parents want to get involved but are asked to maintain and respect boundaries
• When parents feel disrespected because their kids did something they didn’t want them to
• When kids don’t listen to their parents

Furthermore, some parents want almost everything to go their way, but when the child refuses, they decide to stop talking to the child. It can even happen when parents want to dodge uncomfortable questions or arguments. 

Impact of Silent Treatment on a Child

Young children have a lot of questions and are always curious about almost everything that’s happening around them. They are still learning, observing and grasping. Hence support and guidance from parents are crucial to help them get through tough times.

Getting shut out completely can be uncomfortable and lead the child to feel insecure and stressed. Parents are the only people children trust and look up to, so silence is not the best response.

It can lead the child to feel rejected, abandoned, and lonely. The feeling of rejection can reduce the level of self-esteem and confidence in them. This effect is even more, when it is done by people they are close to, especially parents.

Is Silence a Form of Emotional Abuse?

There are several forms of abuse, some which are evident and some silent.

Hence while silent treatment does not show any physical implications, it is a form of emotional abuse as it is exerting power or control over a child and that takes a toll on a child’s emotional well-being.

Kids are vulnerable and this treatment hurts them, and makes them feel abandoned. Your child may not feel supported or loved. This might be done with an intention to compel the child to change or improve despite them not being ready for it.

Dealing with a disagreement by giving your child the silent treatment is not a very productive approach. There are other better ways to deal with it.

What can Parents Do Instead?

Silent treatment is dangerous, especially when it involves children. It is unhealthy and has repercussions.

Every relationship fosters only communication and can resolve any issue in the relationship. Rather than cutting them off, let them know what you are upset about. Guide them to become better and explain to them why it was wrong. 

Most of the time children learn from their parents. So if you chose to give the silent treatment as a parent, they too in the future might refuse to face confrontations and practice the same approach. This is negative for their growth and can impact their future relationships too.

Hence, choose communication over silence. Every relationship needs some adjustments so make sure you hear your children out to understand and guide them. If needed, talk to a parenting coach.

Cover image credit – Knot9