5 Ways to Speak to your Kids so They Listen

The learning and listening ability of kids depends significantly on how we talk to them. Our way of talking and listening to them will impact their listening, learning and behavioural skills. Here are a few tips on how to make your kids listen to you.

Why is The Way We Talk and Listen to Kids Important?

Parents often think that children are too young to understand things but the fact is children too need to have their feelings respected and accepted. The way we listen and speak to them and to others shows them how we want them to listen and speak. 

Children learn by example, by observing things and people they interact with, especially parents.

How to Talk to Children so They Listen? 

When we talk about the right way to communicate with children, it mainly involves listening and talking to them in a way that makes them feel valued and important. 

Here are some tips that will help you do that:

1. Use your child’s name

If you are wondering how to make your child listen to you, call them by their name and use it more often. When someone calls your name, you feel more engaged and feel valued. 

When it comes to kids, they are no different. It helps to get their attention before getting the message. Moreover, young children can usually only focus on a single thing at a time. 

 If you want your child’s attention, call your child by her/his name before you speak further. For instance, call out your child’s name and wait until he/she stops and pays attention to what you have to say.

2. Be firm but polite

Stick to your decision about something if you have already made up your mind. Talk about it with your partner and make sure you are both on the same page. 

When you stay united, your kid will not try convincing one of you or even resist it. This might not make your child very happy at the time, but as both parents agree, they will eventually agree to it.

Speak as though you mean it, to make your requests sound important. A request made in a casual tone gives your kids the impression that you are not concerned about them following your directions. Your request will more likely not be acknowledged and your kid might follow this pattern in the future too.

3. Avoid using negative language 

Avoid saying words like “don’t” or “no”all the time. If you tell them not to do something like: “Don’t jump on the bed,” or “Don’t throw your toys,” your child tends to have that thought and image fixed in their mind and more often than not, will do exactly the opposite of what you tell them. For e.g in all probability, your child will throw the toy!   Yes, children love to test our patience!

Instead of the negative approach, try saying what you want them to do. For instance, “Sit or lie down on the bed please, jump on the floor there,” or “Your toys are special so take care of them” ” While this style of communicating requires a little more thought and practice, it is worth the effort. 

When you use positive language, your kid builds more confidence and gives the same respect and praise to others.

4. Keep it simple

Young kids often have trouble when they are given too many directions at once. For instance, when we want to reach somewhere by asking for directions and are bombarded with directions, we tend to miss out on them.

Divide your request into parts and get your child to listen. For instance, if you say, “Riya, pack up your toys, but first, keep your notebook on the shelf and then feed the fish”. There are chances that your child will tend to miss out on at least one of the tasks if not more. 

5. Don’t interrupt when your child is talking 

When a child is trying to tell you something or having a conversation with you, try not to correct them or interrupt them

Your child who is all excited about telling you something might lose interest in sharing it. Children always have so many stories to share so be patient and listen to them, just as you would like them to listen to you when you talk.

Most importantly, show interest in your child’s conversations by giving them full attention when they talk. When a child comes up to you and wants to talk, put away your phone, gadgets or whatever you are doing and hear them out.

Show them how interested you are in what they are saying and if it’s something they have achieved, use encouraging words to express how proud you are of them by praising them. By doing so, your child will feel confident that you care enough about them since they have your full attention.

In case you are busy with work, promise them a time when you can listen to what they have to say and stick to the promise. Children are smarter than we think they are and can sense when someone is only pretending to listen to them.

Keep in mind that children too deserve the common courtesy of manners that adults use while communicating with each other, so don’t forget your please and thankyous when you speak to your child. Everything you do is observed by your child so make sure you practice positive ways to talk to your child.