Even before we got married, my husband and I use to talk a lot of stuff, how to make our life easier ,share the work and have the fun kind of a conversations and how to have a fun filled ,balanced life. But let me tell you, practically when it comes to actual parenting, By and large, our society has made women the primary parents and men the primary breadwinners at least they are assumed to be so and are stamped.

That's why this "MOM'S GUILT" kind of version pops up to our (women)hard wired brains alone and we start feeling guilty of leaving the child alone even for a few hours and even if it's just to have some "ME TIME". If you see, Even at nights, we fumble and get up with all our energy though we are reluctant if we hear our baby scream the heart out, but still you could see your husband having a sound slumber. Isn't it. Oh , why me, and why it's me alone. Some or the other point in our lives we had always been consumed with such thoughts,let's not deny the fact. That’s because even when both partners are hands on parents, mothers still handle more of the mental load.

Even though my husband certainly tried to help me in as many ways as he could like we broke the tradition of the wife staying at her moms place after child birth, like being on diaper duty in the morning ,giving our kids a shower, making bed, washing clothes, mopping the floor and what not, he did his best. But the truth was that still a lot of other responsibilities of those first few months fell on me, which is inevitable for most of the new moms. So,

What can make equal parenting better, below are few eye opener which I personally experiened and would like to share.

Accept the things and let go.

There may be difference in the way each of us do things, but understand shared parenting works better if you let go ,because if you value a task more, you will be more frustrated if it doesn’t get done the way you do it. Each of us have different styles of doing it. Whats more important is not the style of doing it but the quality. If that happens then it's fine. Be practical. Let go of your ego.

Communicate and share the work.

Be it anything sit and talk ,it works wonders and gives solutions rather than confusions. Put your hands together and be prepared. Parenting is not a joke.

Accept facts and compromise

Parenting involves more compromises than communication. No body comes with a manual for parenting. It completely depends on what next or how it needs to be done. So, nobody was born with a complete understanding of how to pack a diaper bag,clean the poop, handle baby blues etc. We are all learning. Accept and compromise are two important factors.

Below are few steps to set an example to future generation to motivate them in equal parenting. Because it starts with them at young age today to be the change tomorrow.

Gender equality.

Parents are the first teachers of your kids, you can instil values in them that will last forever. As a parent, you have to let your children know that be it a boy or a girl, they should be treated with equal respect. Apparently, this comes only when our relation with spouses are in place.

Set an example

Practice the kind of behaviour you expect from your children. This is literally like "Behave the way you expect others to behave with you". As a husband and wife, you must speak to each other with respect, share the household chores, and handle other tasks together. Let the kids notice it and grow up unbiased. Children imbibe what they see quickly. So, be the example.

Share the load

Let your children help you in the household work equally. Let them share the workload with you, be it washing clothes, cleaning the house, washing vessels, chopping vegetables, going out to buy household things etc. Share the work load equally not differentiating it based on genders. Make it clear to the children that any achievement is praise worthy only for the hard work put in it, it’s not about just gender differences.

Encourage your kid to be self reliable and independent.

Teach both the kids what required to sustain in life even when they are alone to be the survivor in their odds, Start teaching them right from the beginning.

So I always try earnestly to suggest as many parents as i can, that we bring up our children in a gender free, gender equal manner. So that this generations of unfair, relentless gender biased discriminations may be reversed .If gender equality is practised at home ,life on earth will be much better for each and every single person on earth. So, Share the work and make it fun.

So,let's all join hands together to raise super shining stars. Let's be the creator.



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Lovely write up....🤗🤗

That's a lovely one !!

Very well written dear.. thanks for sharing.. and lovely picture

Rebecca Prakash Dr. Mrinalini
priya dharshini pattu rampriya Suga Priya V narrayani raman Priya Hari Haran Gayathri Hemalatha Arunkumar raji திவ்யாஹரி ஹர்ஷித் Veera Ramya Sowmiya Prabu swetha subaaa Ramya Veerasingam Gopeka Sowbarnik varnika sundar raji ANCY FELIXRebecca PrakashSathya Kalaiselvenvarnika sundar
Rebecca PrakashRebecca Prakash

Thank you for sharing mam..

So nicely put!
You've got the spot with 'Acceptance'. It actually is the first step. If we want to start on a equal footing we need to accept the differences.
I used to be annoyed with the way he changed diapers or washed soiled clothing. I would lose my temper and then would take it to on myself but it was much later I realised that the whole point of it was that we shared this journey together and he too required his space. Through this I also learnt that he is better than me at giving a bath to our son. He cleans better in his own way though. He's even better at laundry.
I accepted the differences and now we feel like a team. Even when it comes down to disciplining it's best to have your partner on your side.
Lovely article Revauthi rajamani

Wish i had met him when i visited Chennai. He is definitely a doting father indeed.

Very nicely written!!!

Rebecca Prakash we have time ...Next time when you are chennai definitely we will meet

Smitha Prabhav very true... Acceptance n compromise

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