MOTHERHOOD DOESN'T COME EASY
Pregnancy and having a baby can be overwhelming and confusing, both at the same time. I still can’t express the emotions I had at the time I realized under the effect of anesthesia that my fluffball has arrived. I was sorted then and there as I had always prayed to have a girl child.
It can easily be said that the entire pregnancy is much easier than the initial post-delivery days for most mums. Feeling a baby inside and having the one actually in your arms is entirely different. No amount of articles, chit-chat, suggestions, directions can prepare you for the actual reality. It’s way different and poles apart. Pouring the new mother with constant suggestions and instructions can make the situation difficult for them. I can’t deny the fact that most of these suggestions and instructions come in a good way and are thrown to help out new struggling mother but it rarely suffices its purpose.
New mothers do need some external support and it is a blessing if one is having any such support but I also believe the good one can do to a new mum is by refraining oneself with unnecessary suggestions. Here, I have jotted down a few pointers a visitor or care-taker of the new mother can consider.
Do announce your visit in advance (no surprise visits). Since a new mother is always struggling for sleep and rest along with truckloads of responsibilities one should check with the mum if she is comfortable with the visit of not.
# Keep the visits short (self-explanatory)
# Refrain yourself from giving suggestions (stick to this, facilitate only if demanded)
# Show your affinity for the mother as well. Most visitors completely forgets that the mother is as new as the baby. She is going through a lot, she may develop a fear of missing out. Plus a few words of concern cannot harm anybody
# Carrying a small token of love to the new mum. As it’s customary in most of the traditions that who so ever visit the newborn, blesses him/her with some gifts. Please do the same for the new mum as well. A small token of love especially at this phase of life will certainly prove to be a “feel-good factor” for the taker.
# Take all the possible care of hygiene as new borns are prone to infections.
# Always take the permission of the mother before taking-up the baby in your arms. And DO NOT KISS THE BABY (baby’s health is above all and kissing a new-born can lead to infections)
# Sanitize or wash your hands before even entering the room.
These are some very basic mannerism which everyone should follow while visiting a new-born.
In today’s world of overflowing knowledge and information please assume that the new mum has already done her research. Things have changed a lot from the past, the way a new mum may want to keep her baby varies in the way it was with our prior generation. Everybody should understand the small saying “you do you”.
Sharing suggestions and information may do wonder but only when they are demanded. And certainly will be even valued more if given when they are desired. Pregnancy gives you bittersweet experiences and one can easily slip into post-partum depression. PPD is something that is completely ignored in a standard Indian household. It’s so common in new mothers that sometimes even the mum doesn’t know that she is suffering from this. It should be taken care of by the husband and other family members. Let the mum experience motherhood as she wants it to be, neither she should be compelled to follow any particular tradition, logic, idea or instruction nor she should be judged for the one.
As I am almost done with this blog my energy ball is loosing out on me. She is close to hopelessness when it comes to me. I have heard mumma some 37896 times in the last half n hour. This lil one suddenly needs her Peppa, an apple, pani, my diary, pen and the laptop I am using for writing this blog. Parenting is not for light-hearted people, trust me on this. Hope to have a lighter content in the next one.