Marriage in Indian society is a girl marrying her man and his family. The journey of a married girl began with sweet smelling flowers,a loving husband, second mother to her (mom-in-law),smiles,beautifully decorated room, ethnic dressing, dolling up for husband, henna on hands.. Her life seemed perfect in the very few weeks, all that she imagined became reality. She was glowing with the happiness she felt after getting married. Her ‘everything’s just perfect’ quote came to reality..Would it be same forever came a question rushing through her thoughts?
Within a few weeks of time..demeaning her,disrespectful towards her,asking for dowry,burden of household chores comes on her shoulders...Verbal abuse soon starts as she didn’t knew how to cook, run a home, look after kids, serve the guests.. She was new to everything.. she could have been dealt with love, care and patience.. but she went into a phase of expectations and reality hitting her hard..even before she gave a thought about it.
Little did she knew...everything fades away with time..and nothing would be a forever thing..
How did she expect her in-laws to be? What does a daughter-in-law expects from her new home..?
1. Expectation - Everyone should respect her individuality,accept her and give time to adjust in a new family and place!
•Reality - She is made to follow rules and regulations of the house & treated as an unpaid maid.
2. Expectation - A sick leave on days when she is unwell!
•Reality - Taunted, tagged as ill woman and nobody would even bother to ask about her health!
3. Expectation - Appreciation for the meals she prepares, for the household work she does on a daily basis, takes care of kids and not to forget entertaining guests too!
•Reality - Indian society believes it’s her duty to serve, serve and serve with zero appreciation!
4. Expectation - Sunday should be a day off from household work especially cooking!
•Reality - After a bahu comes in a house, there is no such excuses for her to relax and get away from doing chores, she is bound to do it everyday!
5. Expectation - It’s weekend she can finally get some sleep!
•Reality - Guests come over, grocery shopping, taking care of kids, cooking and everything else except sleeping...according to in-laws only husbands can rest on weekends as they work, not us!
6. Expectation - She needs a vacation as she haven’t had it in years together!
•Reality - It might not be budget friendly, kids do not have holidays, husband can’t get an off from work, in-laws won’t allow for one..
7. Expectation - To be called a good wife, mother and daughter-in-law!
•Reality - She isn’t a good wife and mother..huh leave about being a good daughter-in-law!
8. Expectation - Allow her to be an independent woman, by letting her do a job!
•Reality - A woman after marriage cannot do a job, her job is only to do the chores, serve guests and taking care of kids..if at all she discusses of doing a job then she’s objectified!
9. Expectation - Alone time with husband and kids!
•Reality - What’s that? No way..if you’re planning for something like that..remember the whole in-laws clan is in! Forget it!
10. Expectation - Love,help,respect,making her feel ‘home’!
•Reality - No such words exists for the bahu in in-laws dictionary!
Such realities are killing our young women’s lives even today..and the reason being a ‘Bahu’.. The day when in-laws start accepting us as daughters and not daughter-in-laws then world will be a beautiful place to live in!
Do you also relate to all this..? let me know in comments below!
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