Becoming a mom for the first time is scary. The most important job in the world, and there’s no resume, application, screening, or interview. You are just sent home from the hospital with a tiny little new life. In those first weeks and months, that baby is your entire WORLD – you spend hours upon hours feeding, changing, burping, rocking, bathing, and soothing your precious baby. As baby gets older, you get a bit of your life back…maybe even a date with the hubby or a night out with the girls here and there…but your identity is forever changed. You are somebody’s mother.
The second time around, I’d argue that it’s almost scarier. You know what to expect – labor and delivery isn’t this big scary unknown thing, you can change a diaper with the best of them, and your baby soothing techniques may be a bit rusty but you’ve still got game. But you already have a baby. Your firstborn. And he’s perfect. How could this second baby even come close to stealing as much of your heart? You’ve got a good thing going on with your trio – Mommy, Daddy, and a beautiful child. You were just feeling like you had a handle on this parenthood thing, and now here comes this new baby, an outsider, who is going to turn life upside down again. And then there’s the guilt-inducing, gut-wrenching, horrible question that you almost don’t even dare to ask yourself – how can I possibly love this baby as much as I love my first child?
Whether baby 2 was planned or not, I think almost every mom of more than one kid experiences this unspoken fear. To be honest, I was always a little bit “judgey” of only-child families until we started talking about when to start trying for our second baby, and then I understood the feeling of wanting to keep our perfect little family just the way it was. I was afraid that there just wasn’t enough room in my heart to love another baby as much as I loved my son, or that this baby would take away part of my heart from my son, and inklings of that fear remained in the back of my mind throughout my pregnancy.
And then – our precious little girl was born. We didn’t know we were having a girl. And as we settled into our daily lives, not only did I come to love her more and more, I grew to adore our perfect family of four. And of course, it makes my heart almost explode to see how much my son loves her baby sister! There’s nothing that makes me happier.
Are you a mom-to-be? Becoming a mom – whether it’s the first or 6th time – can be both exciting and nerve-racking. Every expectant mom experiences those uncertain and anxious emotions related to one thing or another. Nothing beats tried and true advice from real-live moms, so if you have a minute, check out the stories #momlovebrosis #BBCreatorsClub #newborn #toddler
If you’re a mom of more than one child, did you experience the same fears that I did before your second baby was born? Or if you are expecting a baby, does it help to find other moms that can you relate to your fears and anxieties?