I m feeling lil upset. Its been 22 days i had c section and blessed wid angel. First few days

Kavita Garg

1 year old baby

I m feeling lil upset. Its been 22 days i had c section and blessed wid angel. First few days went to cope up from my body in the hospital. My child was in Nicu for 24 hrs. Now it all started when i was going for the operation. I needed a person near me whom i cn talk and discuss things and they were my mom and husband. I was getting nervous as i never been admitted to hospital. They were preparing me to take me to the OT and i was expecting to see mom n hubby once but i got Mil to see at that time as husband send her in thinking that she shud see me as she came for the first time during whole of my pregnancy. She never called me up nor has shown any concern for me n baby. I was disappointed. I was getting affraid from the cesarian and they took me to the OT. After coming from there, good news had been delivered to the family members my mom, dad, husband, brother, mil and brother in law. I was waiting that husband shd come in first to see me and he did. I was not in a condition to say anything as i was not in shifted to room that time. I expected him to say some affectinate words and show some affection. But all i got was a smile and a handhold for a second and he went out and send mil again. She was just sitting and lay down on another bed lying in that labour room. Then came brother in law who is also like that jisne kabhi bhabhi b ni bola mujhe.
I dont knw why husband can't understand that i needed him and my mom dat time. I was quiet.
I went back to house after 3 days and mil was there. She was there wid me for 15 days for the functions like chatti n all and for her relatives that she wanted to visit us. On the 2nd day my room was full of their relatives and i was not getting time to relax and to laydown on bed and to feed baby. I was not comfortable wid her at all but i had to feed in front of her and she used to peep in. She used to sleep in our room wid husband n me coz she wanted AC . No privscy at all. She not even cooked for me on time and my mom used to come to make me bath. My mom resides 10 mins from my house. I told all this to husband then he says unse jitna ho ra h wo kr ri hain although hubby used to wash baby and my clothes and other household stuff. I was like highly disappointed.
I asked to come to my mom house after hawan and i did.
I was wid my mom during my pregnancy time even my husband used to go office from here only. Now my mom is doing all cooking, washing clothes etc bt husband ko kya lagta hai agar kabhi khana late ho jaye to wahan meri mom se problem thi yahan ni hai ! I really dont understand how to mk him understand. I look for my baby also as i have to feed her and can't do kitchen stuff , meri mom b thak jati h as She has arthritis. Still she is doing.
Husband is helpful in doing baby stuff and all but thinks maine intentionally mil ki galti nikali.
Jabki pure 3 saalo me kabhi ni pucha mil ne mujhe. She is responsible for making him superstitious and he gets more in rituals and all more then me. I am open minded. And he used to eat at my house only when i was wid mil kyunki mil unka b khana ni banati thi. Now i dont knw for bhi unki maa sahi h. Please suggest.

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Rashmi Choudhury

Just one mantra all is well

Shweta Shukla

I will just give you a piece of advise which is actually required at this moment. I too had a C-Section and was too much stressed due to personal issues. My dr. while discharging me told one thing you have to take care of baby and others will take care of you. At this moment dear your baby require you the most. She needs strong mumma. If you will be stressed you will also face reduction in breastmilk. Dont do this to yourself. Tell your husband give me some time to say when the baby turns 3 months. By the time you will fell phusicaly fit and your husband too can handle her while you work. So give time. Right now baby needs you the most. Baby should be your world and make your husband realise this that at this time your need to nurture your baby and you need his support. And you people now should be responsible parents and create happy world for your child. This small nok jhok can be sort out after 3 months when you will be physically okay. So chill and get your husband into confidence. Casually ask for time from him.

Shweta Shukla

I too had a C-Section and was too much stressed due to personal issues. My dr. while discharging me told one thing you have to take care of baby and others will take care of you. At this moment dear your baby require you the most. She needs strong mumma. If you will be stressed you will also face reduction in breastmilk. Dont do this to yourself. Tell your husband give me some time to say when the baby turns 3 months. By the time you will fell phusicaly fit and your husband too can handle her while you work. So give time. Right now baby needs you the most. Baby should be your world and make your husband realise this that at this time your need to nurture your baby and you need his support. And you people now should be responsible parents and create happy world for your child. This small nok jhok can be sort out after 3 months when you will be physically okay. So chill and get your husband into confidence. Casually ask for time from him.

Kavita Garg

Thanks people.. no point of discussion this is wat i feel.. as he will say sirf tumhe he fikr h bache ki and main to sirf bache ko dhoodh pilane k liye hun.. or kuch ni.. aaj kal to ye feeling deliber hoti h husband ki side se..

Shweta Shukla

Sorry, i tried posting my comment once but it came four time. Dear take a deep breathe, relax feed your baby, sing lullaby for her, whenever u feel stress hold her hand. Look at her face. Hug her. You will be okay trust me. After delivery due to incapabilty of doing anything moms feel stressed. Its a phase autimatically will normalize. I do understand your point of you at this moment you need your mother because you are more attached to her its not the food. You need emotional support which you are not able to get from your MIL. So avoid. Stay where you feel happy. Happy mumma happy baby and happy family. Your husband will understand once he wl see his lil princess doing well.

Bhrukuti Mistry

Apko Abhi sirf apna aur baby ka Dhyan rakhana chaiye.. jitna stress loge utna apke health pe asar padega.. relax, apke mom se bat karo and tell her k unse jitna ho utna kare unhe bhi zyda stress mat Lene de.. husband jitna help kare thank him for that.. ye time ap dono k argue karne ka nahi hai.. aur be open and apni mother in law se bat kare k relatives aye ho to bhi apko privacy de bache Ko feeding k liye..