Hi everyone... Want to share something with you all.... I had a C Section delivery on 2nd July and unlikely my Gynae released me very next day morning.... I came back to my Sasural as my mother is not physically fit and don't have domestic help 24X7 so didn't want to disturb her. Here in my in laws place my MIL is super busy whole day and my FIL is also not physically fit to take of mostly he can sit when I need to go to loo to pee :). We have domestic help who can bring my 4 times food ( evening my husband carry though) as my kitchen is downstairs. My doc didn't prescribe any restriction on food or movement (I had normal food in hospital on the very day afternoon after giving birth in morning). My Lil one was ebf and I was like feeling mad as as soon as I put him down he would scream at night and day time he was sleeping (I know it's normal now but back then I thought this is a problem). My LO bilirubin got high 16.3 and his Paed suggested for phototherapy.. We both admitted then the tragedy happens... Nurses in NICU asking for expressed milk but while hand expressing I get 5 - 10 ml (they don't have pump :() then they started saying u don't have milk supply so ur baby's weight got down and he is having jaundice.... My LO BW 3.08, that time it went to 2.64 as per them on 9 th day. Still I continued BF and they got irritated as my baby sucking for 45 mins and other baby's they are feeding in mins. I also observed one mother who is pumping like huge quantity of milk. I got dishearten. Still feeding baby almost 1-2 hrs day and night and get him home 2 days back. He didn't pee for 10 hrs and that triggered me and with doctors permission gave him FM and with in 30 mins he peed. I lost every confidence. Here I want to mention I have medical condition (Underdeveloped Breast) which now I searched on Internet and found can be reason for low supply. Any how my body also collapsed with all that stress and tiring nursing sessions and giving FM to my baby with all guilt. I have asked many questions to few group members or posted regarding the supply. Frustrated with my situation I stopped enjoying motherhood and worrying about BM & FM all the day and night.i forget to be happy. But now I don't want to let this beautiful time fly with overthinking and not enjoying time with my baby. FM or BM (Whatever amount I have) I will give to my baby and not worry about ebf and all which taking me to depression..... Now my baby is happy and I am relaxed.

I think many mommies having such issues... But want to tell first you have to take care of yourself so that your baby be healthy and happy. FM or BM don't think only bond with your Lil one and cherish the moment.

Eliza, thank you for posting this, I m sure after reading this many moms will gain the confidence again. You said very rightly, we have to take care of ourselves too!!

What's your thought on this ladies Richa Chowdhary Neha Mani Mishra Neha Vij Akanksha Bajaj(ida_tales) Revauthi Rajamani Rebecca Prakash Kavita Sahany Resham Java Satarupa B Kaur

AS I always tell each mom is unique. You are doing a tremendous job. Kudos to you. Without guilt go ahead. Happy parenting. Hugs to you

1.Regarding food:yes they give you normal food after surgery
2.Walk..yes after 2 days my doc asked me to walk for 10 mins
3.Milk supply:initial days the milk supply is less.yhr more baby would have latched.the more milk you would have produced.
Without a pump,I don't think so it's possible.I was never able to express milk by hand.I got a pump,first manual then electric.I mean to say that there isn't any issue with your milk supply
4.underdeveloped breast:please consult a doctor or a lactation counsellor..don't do self diagnosis.
I can really understand what you must have gone through.With a very little help ,how you would have managed the baby.You are so strong.You have sailed through and now are enjoying a happy time with baby.
I would still suggest to meet a counsellor in case you want your baby to breastfeed..Totally a personal choice.
I really hope you are taking care of yourself now and eating a healthy diet..
Thanks for sharing your experience with fellow mommies.
This article of mine might resonate with youy

7 Tips For New Moms On Surviving The 4th Trimester

Darling. Not to worry. Motherhood takes a toll and that's okay. We all have our battles and here on BBC we help each other fight those together.
Don't just worry about your supply. Stress kills all the supply. Trust me. Also, I myself have been an exclusive formula fed baby and have the strongest bond with my mommy. Bonds dont happen over the type of milk. You need to be strong to be a mom and this is just the beginning. Rock it. And for all the frustrations, we are here to help.
Sonali Shivlani can you please help Eliza?

Thanks a lot ladies... Specially Revauthi Rajamani, Rebecca Prakash and Satarupa B Kaur u guys helped me a lot with all my queries.

Akanksha Bajaj(ida_tales) thanks a lot for the article u shared. I will see a LC but first want to try by myself.

Khushboo Chouhan thanks dear :)

Fed is best!

Eliza hugs to u dear. Mom's love and strength is huge and gigantic as a mountain . Even a tiny ant size problem can't move it.. not feeding Breastmilk doesnt may u any less of a mother. The word depression is like a iceberg say is once and u feel it's almost triple... Reverse it opposite.. and make the impossible I am possible.. Happiness is as of now the only thing that's free... And this value only and only you can live by and teach your child as a constant teacher for life. Take carre. Love 😍😍😘😘

True Eliza every mother's experience is different..; jus trust in urself n god n everything will be fine..; as the baby grows we will come to know time jus flies...; thr r ups n downs bt keeping cool is the only hope..; if mother is nt happy thn the baby is also nt happy..; keep feeding n ur milk supply will grow n ur bond too.. tc,; god bless n happy motherhood ..

Thanks a lot Resham Java & neha singhal :)

Wow Eliza, I can relate myself to this..I have gone through this journey by myself..and yes you feel extremely guilty if you are not able to breastfeed.. gradually, for me also it didn't matter..baby should not suffer..that was my funda. There are other ways, in which you can bond with the baby..:-).

Hugs to you dear. Absolutely..you have to take care of yourself first.

Eliza thank u for sharing ur journey with us.; After reading this I'm sure many moms would regain their strength.u r strong and a super mommy.. Kudos to u.. 🙏

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