Day and night every two hours I have to breastfeed him and initially due to stitches it was so painful. The most irritating part was night time feeds as I was in pain, sleepy, exhausted amd need to get up every hour to feed him. I remember I cried almost everyday, even thought of starting formula milk but somehow my heart was not allowing me to do so that time I really came to know what is postpartum blues.
I was feeling that I am not a good mother, felt selfish because most of the time I was irritated then enjoying the phase.
Sore nipples, back pain, painful stitches, sleepness night was making me so irritable that I started feeling that I was not ready to be mother, I did this too early.
Then one day, I was feeding my baby and I saw he was holding my finger and smiling while feeding. It was the most beautiful moment of my life, I don't know what happen but then on I started looking at breastfeeding as a bond with my baby not as a daily chores.
I always sing to him while feeding and he just keep smiling and when he is done, he just give me a big smile which makes me happy and feel content that I can satisfy my baby hunger.