Our lifestyle has changed tremendously over the;years and so have the needs and demands of our daily lives. From playing under the sun ,in the sand surrounded by siblings, cousins and friends to creating an artificial sun light and being surrounded by gadgets. That's how much our lives have changed. Where on one side we urge our kids to be active, we ourselves are lost lazing in the virtual world of technology and it's deception. We are always trying to figure out ways, to strike a balance between work, home and the reality of life. In all of this are we satisfied with the way we keep our kids engaged. As parents our part and role in their upbringing is maximum and I know all of us understand that. But at times our expectations of them are too high and may be stressful;for both us and them.;
Most of us would remember, how we were constantly or occasionally (on certain aspects) pushed by our parents to achieve and at times pursue something that they couldn't and is not of our interest. We did submit because the times then and now are different. Now kids have started to resort to extremes in situations they cannot handle. That's why, in most of my posts, I always emphasize on the importance of being your kids confidant.;
A few minutes and points to ponder on.;
1. Are you living their life - a lot of times it's like "I wanted to be a dancer, which I couldn't, so I've registered my daughter for dance classes." I wanted to be a doctor, but my parents couldn't afford, so I'm saving up for son to study medicine." Is your daughter even interested in dance and is your son wanting to study medicine. Ask them for their area of interest, so that tomorrow they don't resent later in life and disappointment takes over them.. If their area of interest matches yours, go ahead, otherwise give them the freedom to choose what they want to learn and be.;
2. Too many expectations - Are you expecting your kids to be achievers or excell in their education or anything likewise. It's good to be expectant, but overly expecting and putting pressure on them can be really painful and hurting. The hurt could be on both sides, one due to disappointment of not meeting; with the expectations and one due to the fact of not being able to achieve.;
3. Are you giving time and are they giving time to you - take the time to always talk it out, there's nothing better than talking. Make sure to listen when they talk...it's easy to mend a plant , not a tree. It's easy to give instructions and move on, but the chance to listen and understand will never come back. If you need to make changes to your plans, so be it, nothing is more important than their future. Ensure to see that they spend sometime with you and you with then EVERYDAY, not once in a week or fortnight. Don't keep them busy all through the day , the week that they just come home to eat and sleep. I know kids who are occupied from 7am to 8pm, this includes school + activities like dance, music, karate and what not. Take one at a time and let them also enjoy some leisure time.
4. Are you giving them a chance to make decisions - decision making is a true skill. Honestly it requires freedom of thought, expression and pursuit. Nurture them and help them to make decisions, guide their way and don't impose yourself. Am sure when they grow up they will be great decision makers.;
I just covered the part that I felt important. Are we balancing our lives with that of our kids or are we missing the chord. It's important to discipline them, but our actions should not be breaking their tiny spirit of joy, love, laughter and achievements.;