'Admire someone else's beauty without questioning your own'

I want to ask you a question, What do you think about yourself?

Is it how you don't look anything like the girls in these publications and movies? and if that is not you, you are not beautiful officially.

Please tell me whom do you look upto anyway?

We often see pretty faces around especially with the booming 'perfect body' 'perfect skin' market in india, everybody wants to be the one with best body, best hair and best skin, isn't it?

Amidst that, BODY SHAMING - A word that we generally associate with those typical aunties who talk about other people's kids, Isn't it?

But think, are they the only source of body shaming around us? Aren't we the ones who think ill about ourselves?

Well, In my case it was 'Me'. Yes! I body shamed myself. Alot. If i go back in time, i remember, when i had a terrible schedule with work, studies and everything.

This obviously had to affect my health. I reduced from 52 kgs to 48 kgs in 3 months. It was pathetic. My doctor said i looked pale and my body wasn't producing enough blood.

If you ask me today, i would say my schedule, my food, the stress weren't the reason for my health. It wasn't because i was fat or skinny or anything.

It was only because I WASN'T COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN. I didn't knew what I brought to the table. I wasn't clear about my thoughts, what made me happy and what I wanted. It was only because I questioned myself that I allowed myself to be surrounded by people who questioned me. It was also because of the fact that being 'skinny' in my head wasn't good enough, hence when i shed weight I thought I was ugly, Very ugly. I had completely stopped going out, cut out on all my social circles.

People around me knew something was wrong, but they enjoyed the show and didn't participate. It went to such an extent that i started posting pictures that were not even mine, i started forcing myself into things that I didn't even enjoy just to be involved with people my age. I had started living a life for validation. I knew waking up this hollow wasn't normal. I knew something wasn't right. I even called up my friends and told them that this is not how I felt earlier. Save me! This went on for 6 months. I don't know if it was depression as i hadn't consulted a doct, but these 6 months were not less than a nightmare.

Somewhere I read this quote 'THERE IS NOTHING WORST THAN FAKING YOUR OWN HAPPINESS' and that is when things changed. The first thing I did was crying my heart out ALOUD. That's the only way all the misery could go out. Accepting myself exactly the way I was was the only way out and with time I did that.

Today, as I pen this down, things are better. Though the insecurities do trigger on some days, some days I am still fighting to understand am I good enough? but now I am ok with not being okay all the time.

There is no such thing as 'FLAWLESS'. Hence, never try to be one. Love you all.

KtiVi Dr. Farah Adam Madhavi Cholera Amardeep Mann Ritu Singhal Priya Sood Sathya Kalaiselven pattu AMRITA MALLIK Nilofer shaikh Saumya Pillai Muskan Jain Karishma Agrawal Sania Bhushan Shristhy thapa(sunam) Nimmi rathore jessy oberoi Rashmi Choudhury Kirti Wadera Smitha Prabhav Shruti Kakkar Mahima Krishna A vasu Dolly abhinav Singh Kruti Nirmal Vipra Naik Garima Singla sreekanna Manisha M Sonal Chaddha Susmita chetri Neha Sharma Manikyam Cherthedath Aishwarya Shukla Aishwarya Shukla Renuka pillai haritima upadhyay Mariyum Aaquib ( inas_and_mamas ) Riddhima Tilokani Mili Choudhary Tarotforu Shambhavi Prachi priya dharshini Gopeka Sowbarnik narrayani raman pattu rampriya Suga Priya V Smitha Prabhav Sonal Chaddha Toshi Saxena Prachi Gaikwad Renuka pilla Prachi Goldi Dogra Smitha Prabhav Vrushali Bhabad jaseena Ghouse basha Prachi Gaikwad Abhilasha Jaiswal Nil S vasu Sweta ( Life of mom Divya (kavyaislife Kuljeet kaur Amreen Richa Thakkar jaseena Ghouse basha Sulbha Bathwal Neeta Shetty

Swati, I can totally relate with what you are saying!!! And what a perfect way of saying!!

Swati upadhyay totally love this....yes we body shame ourselves...I had been through this similarly when I too a break from working an was doing my course in Interiors I had put on weight tremendously and hearing other people talk, I started to look down on myself...but then one day someone said look into the mirror and tell yourself I'm beautiful for myself and doesn't matter who looks at how and things changed...I appreciate every star and beauty queen out there but I'm not in awe of them, simply because they can show only what they want to not what they are so ..... What's the point in living a deceptive life ....

Bilkul sahi kaha swati aapne

Gorgeous picture hain aapka

Mahima Krishna A exactly dear... Life is precious and why are we even struggle to be the same. We are completely different and hence we are us! ❤

Swati upadhyay ..yup true.....😘😘

Varsha Rao thankyou dear😇😇

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful

Looking beautiful

Positive thoughts ,wonderful you are

Very nice swati upadhyay

Beautifully expressed👌👌

Nicely written 👌

Love this post yes of course i m different n special... Love u Swati upadhyay u re awesome by face by thought✌✌✌

Made my day.. thanks for this dear! 🤗❤️

So true! I mark me as an UNIQUE. Be good and do good this changes everything.
Wow picture Swati upadhyay

Beautifully penned!

Swati upadhyay I love this post! Each of your posts keeps getting better and better. I probably have to read it two more times.. There so much in it. You've quite literally poured yourself out here and also described what each one of us here may be going through.
I love the lines... I'm okay with not being okay all the time...
This speaks volumes.
Kudos to you!
Acceptance I believe is half the battle won. You've touched on a topic which I'm still working on myself but by sharing your experience it makes me understand myself better too.
Thank you very much!

Lots of love and positivity your way!

So much positivity made my day, nd yes I m diffrnt nd spcl from others 😊

Very positive thinking . Nicely written Swati upadhyay

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