5 Ways to follow to raise a confident girl
I still remember the day when even the eunuchs shied away from showering their blessings on my daughter. It’s definitely not that I wanted their blessings, in fact, my fear and anxiety level were at its peak when I heard the negotiations going on with my neighbour who was blessed with a son. With my husband at the office I was counting on seconds when the group will knock on my door. Watching my dilemma my maid servant casually said, “bhabhi, don’t worry, they will not come here…you have a daughter na?”
The anxiety turned into anger. Even in 21st century India, nothing has changed much and we still need Beti bacho, beti padhao and other slogans just to allow the girls to survive. So, for parents it becomes a challenge to raise a girl when she is treated as a second citizen, sometimes even at home among her extended family.
Chuck the world, and raise your daughter with pride and watch her transform into a confident girl. Check out this trial and tested 5 ways to make your daughter a self-reliant and confident girl.
1. Be yourself… unapologetically
Motherhood is a beautiful gift, but don’t let it define you. Remember, the daughter’s first role model is her mother and she will imitate her. So without any reservations, be the kind of person you want your daughter to be. Continue doing what you want to do and not what traditional mothers are supposed to do or family expects from you to do. Your daughter will benefit from growing with a smart and confident Mom rather than a sacrificing and sulking mother. The confidence and self-fulfilment of the mother is contagious and daughters will definitely adopt it.
2. Write your own bedtime stories
Don’t bore her with the age old stories of Prince Charming and beautiful Princess waiting to be rescued or to get married. Believe me; there are many inspiring stories of bold and beautiful women whose true stories will surely open up her imagination and empower her to conquer the world. Marriage should not be narrated as an achievement to aspire for, but just as a phase of life and eventually when time comes it will happen.
3. Treat her with equality
Don’t make her a delicate darling or make her feel that men are naturally superior, even physically. She should hear from you that she is equally strong, physically, emotionally or mentally, than your son or her friends who happens to be boys. Never tell her that she cannot do it because she is a girl. Let her be herself and explore the world on her own. Let her get up on her own when she falls and then watch her chase the ball. Encourage her to venture out to the world. Don’t arrest her in the cocoon of your love for her safety; instead let her become a fighter. You will not be there always. One day she will have to face the world alone, prepare her for that.
4. Encourage her to question
Instead of gagging her down with ‘you should not speak before elders,’ encourage her to question the culture and speak her mind in a reasonable way. After all we are all human beings; we are bound to make mistakes. Even if your little girl has an opinion about something wrong or what she thinks is not right, give her the opportunity to speak her mind. This will allow her to think on her own instead of simply voicing her company’s opinions.
5. Build her confidence together
It is important to raise your daughter in an environment where taking care of the child is not a role helmed only by the mother. The father can take care of everything except carrying the baby around in a uterus for 9 months and breastfeeding the child. Sharing responsibilities with your husband and not being grateful for his help is crucial. Give her a loving home where both the parents, irrespective of who is the bread winner, are equal. This will instil the idea of respect and equality in her from a young age and she will grow up to be a perfect amalgamation of both her parents’ personalities.
I still remember the day when even the eunuchs shied away from showering their blessings on my daughter. It’s definitely not that I wanted their blessings, in fact, my fear and anxiety level were at its peak when I heard the negotiations going on with my neighbour who was blessed with a son. With my husband at the office I was counting on seconds when the group will knock on my door. Watching my dilemma my maid servant casually said, “bhabhi, don’t worry, they will not come here…you have a daughter na?”
The anxiety turned into anger. Even in 21st century India, nothing has changed much and we still need Beti bacho, beti padhao and other slogans just to allow the girls to survive. So, for parents it becomes a challenge to raise a girl when she is treated as a second citizen, sometimes even at home among her extended family.
Chuck the world, and raise your daughter with pride and watch her transform into a confident girl. Check out this trial and tested 5 ways to make your daughter a self-reliant and confident girl.
1. Be yourself… unapologetically
Motherhood is a beautiful gift, but don’t let it define you. Remember, the daughter’s first role model is her mother and she will imitate her. So without any reservations, be the kind of person you want your daughter to be. Continue doing what you want to do and not what traditional mothers are supposed to do or family expects from you to do. Your daughter will benefit from growing with a smart and confident Mom rather than a sacrificing and sulking mother. The confidence and self-fulfilment of the mother is contagious and daughters will definitely adopt it.
2. Write your own bedtime stories
Don’t bore her with the age old stories of Prince Charming and beautiful Princess waiting to be rescued or to get married. Believe me; there are many inspiring stories of bold and beautiful women whose true stories will surely open up her imagination and empower her to conquer the world. Marriage should not be narrated as an achievement to aspire for, but just as a phase of life and eventually when time comes it will happen.
3. Treat her with equality
Don’t make her a delicate darling or make her feel that men are naturally superior, even physically. She should hear from you that she is equally strong, physically, emotionally or mentally, than your son or her friends who happens to be boys. Never tell her that she cannot do it because she is a girl. Let her be herself and explore the world on her own. Let her get up on her own when she falls and then watch her chase the ball. Encourage her to venture out to the world. Don’t arrest her in the cocoon of your love for her safety; instead let her become a fighter. You will not be there always. One day she will have to face the world alone, prepare her for that.
4. Encourage her to question
Instead of gagging her down with ‘you should not speak before elders,’ encourage her to question the culture and speak her mind in a reasonable way. After all we are all human beings; we are bound to make mistakes. Even if your little girl has an opinion about something wrong or what she thinks is not right, give her the opportunity to speak her mind. This will allow her to think on her own instead of simply voicing her company’s opinions.
5. Build her confidence together
It is important to raise your daughter in an environment where taking care of the child is not a role helmed only by the mother. The father can take care of everything except carrying the baby around in a uterus for 9 months and breastfeeding the child. Sharing responsibilities with your husband and not being grateful for his help is crucial. Give her a loving home where both the parents, irrespective of who is the bread winner, are equal. This will instil the idea of respect and equality in her from a young age and she will grow up to be a perfect amalgamation of both her parents’ personalities.
Durga salvi
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11 Jul 2019