Anger.

One of the most basic , primal emotions of the human mind.

How many times have you heard yourself go, "I am so angry." More stress on the word angry. Or do you even hear yourself when you say that. I would never do, in the past.

What do you feel when you experience anger?

You don't have tell me.Think about it yourself. Try to articulate that emotion. Think of your body movements.Think of the thoughts that run amok in your mind. What do your hands do? Does your face twist? Do you raise your voice? Do you feel negativity to such an extent that you think of harming the object of your anger?

Or worse - yourself?

I used to be an extremely short tempered person up until a few years ago. The slightest of irritations  would flare me up. I was also never really satisfied with my lot. I would indulge in a lot of self pity.

I was an extremely rebellious teen- a lot like everyone I guess. But that urge to rebel never really subsided. What followed were bilnding spells of rage which would usually result in self harm. I have had nasty and ugly episodes of me hitting myself, biting myself. My anger would be so tough for me to handle that it would not take me even a micro second to slap, my own cheeks.

Not something I am proud of. But something that needs to be addressed.

Every single time it happened, I would instantly regret my folly. Add to that the pain of the hit, the humiliation of hitting my own self and not being able to let go of that addiction, I had all the makings of a forever unhappy person in me.

I was lucky enough to marry a guy who balanced me. Who became the yin to my yang. I had a lot of chaos within me which needed an anchor. I can say that I literally un learned my habit thanks to an unending amount of patience I got from him.

But what also helped me through this process was yoga.

When I went for my first class, I remember going in with a lot of cockiness for I had a decent amount of strength and flexibility thanks my training as a dancer.

But very early into my study I knew what a big delusion I was under. I realized that nothing could make up for the ONE thing which was abysmally lacking in my practice and in my life and that was HUMILITY.

I remember being frustrated of not being noticed by my guru or not being praised for getting a difficult pose right.

He saw me approach my practice with the same anger that had become a permanent resident in me.

I realized I was trying to win on the mat. I realized I was trying to channel my anger into my bones to be able to get into a pose. I realized that just I used to harm my body to quench my anger , here I was trying to harm my mind.

I gradually learnt to un learn my past habits. I learnt to approach my स्वाध्याय as a student, not as a master. This is something I practice fiercely even today. I keep telling myself I will ALWAYS be a srudent, no matter how much I learn. That keeps me grounded.

The same works with life I feel. Approach each moment as if you are a student. You learn something everyday. That way you will always be humble. You will always know that no matter how much you learn, how much you earn or how far you go you will still be a student.

Maybe then you won't get angry as much. Off course we cant eliminate that emotion completely. We would all be rocks then. What is the fun in that.

The next time you feel a wave of rage building inside you for any reason whatsoever take a deep breath and count in your mind upto 10 very slowly. Let the heart beat calm down before you react to the situation. I can guarantee you will be able to handle it better. You could also try writing about how you react when you get angry. There is usually a pattern. Reading about your reactions might help you to understand your mind better.

And then reward yourself with your favourite food for doing such a wonderful job.

Because there is always always always a chance to be a better person. You just have to give yourself that chance.

Name of the asana: Utthita Parshwakonasana

Alignment : Feet in a wide stance. Back foot turned slightly inwards, heel pressing to the mat, knee active. Chest open to the front, core muscles active. Top arm inline with the back foot. The front foot is lightly pressing the mat with very less pressure on that knee. The palm of the bottom hand gently rests near that foot.
Beginner Tip: The back foot can be pressed against a wall. The forearm of the bottom hand can be on the front knee or you can place the palm on a block.
Can be practiced during pregnancy.

But get medical advice before you do any exercise.
Benefits: Strengthens the ankles, knee, legs, shoulders and back. Opens the groin, massages the abdominal organs.
Stay healthy. Stay happy.

Have a safe practice.

Namaskara.

#slayfitmama