Do you resort to COMPARISON?????;

There's always an element of comparison when talking to kids or while correcting them. All of us, at some point in our childhood have gone through this nightmare. We might have been compared with kids elder, younger and may be of our own peer group too. It's not about comparing, but it's about affecting one's self confidence and self esteem. We fail to realize that we might be building a negative thinking in kids against that person or individual. Do kids have self esteem?? Excuse me!!! Are kids not individuals?? When they can choose a toy or dress on their own, when they can tell you what's their favorite food or favorite color, why can't they have a self esteem.

Comparison can be positive too, but it means as parents it's our responsibility to pick the right words and right phrases to use while doing so. Can we use comparisons as a tool to build a positive and healthy relationship and atmosphere between peers and friends while putting across our opinion. Compare for food, for grades at school, for activities that one is part off, achievements, manners and the list is endless. In this post, I wanted to share with you, how can we avoid comparing and if we have to, then how to make it effective with a positive approach to it.;

Avoid comparing your kids with any one be it friends or cousins. Instead put across your point either through talking it out or in serious cases taking a disciplinary action. If situations call for and you ought to use comparison as a tool, then resort to using positive phrases. For example, you want to talk to you kid/kids about his/her cousin's or friend's grades and want to make your kid feel that he/she too is capable of and can do better. Then instead of mocking at you kid and saying "see, look at your cousin/friend who is much better than you, you such a looser or useless or fit for nothing"; you could say "probably you and your cousin/friend should sit together and study and help each other because both of you are equally capable and smart. May be you both should try it." still better you can say "hey look, your cousin/friend who has got a better grade this time has out smarted you, so next time why don't we put some extra effort and make sure you get there. Because I know you are capable of doing a lot better than what you are doing."

But dear parents remember, every kid is different and smart on different aspects. Don't break your kids individuality or spirit and demotivate by comparing them. Instead, teach them to learn and grow and make better choices in life. Don't mock them and be overly strict, but be sure to carefully guide and understand their needs too... Thank you for reading. Inputs are appreciated.;

Happy parenting.;