Hey my cute little ladoo... Today u r an year old... oh.. actually 12 months ... My big boy.. really unbelievable that it been already 12 months when we saw u first time, held u in our arms. oh my God... Getting damn nostalgic...;

As you turn 12 months today, I look back at the fond memories we created in the past 1 yrs. You know na we; had an extremely smooth pregnancy with days doing walking , exercising together but in the end my body responded with high BP and your delivery got complicated with the c section as I always dreaded even to think about it.. that cut and scar for life.. ugly body and what not..but u choose that way only.. so all were set on exactly an year back.. this time.i was in hospital and hospital nurses were getting me ready for operation.. honestly I am telling u kaatne se pahle bakre ko tyaar kiya jata h na.. won feeling thi... But was happy inside that finally m able to meet my little munchkin.. and here u are our sweet little gudda... I can still remember when I heard ur cry the first time.. ur dad was with me the whole time in OT as well.. he actually saw u coming out of my womb and I really envy him for this.. but he was always a support system for.me... I heard u and look above in my half zombie state..ND he said.. a boy I could see half teary eyes of ur dad with a tear rolling down of my eyes as well...;
There you were-all bundled up in a hospital towel,so pinkish, so tiny and so fragile. The nusrse brought u near to my face, I saw u the first time and can confidently say I fall in love with u the very same moment..; generally ever so confident me wasn’t even sure how to even hold u....but again u choose a different way to come near to us and choose NICU above us for three long days.. I can only say baby those three; days were the longest even more than those 9 month when I held u inside.. but in end u were; fine and it all mattered.. our days ND night belonged to; u.. I was damn confused that ur wails ..are they because of hunger, cholic pain or just the need to sleep.. again ur daddy was a huge help to me. He was suddenly in charge and totally in control of anything related to you. No wonder you are his little yet biggest fan. Your Nani and nanu became my biggest pillar of strength during those days and handled both of us.. even ur naanu use to come when u could not sleep, crying ..he; use to take u ND ask me and ur Nani to grab a nap..and in the mean time he will play with u.. I was really astonished seeing my dad handling u...nd it actually make me realize such a fantastic father he is.. how he has always supported my Mumma in raising us... ND till date u; share a different connection with ur nanu...nanu; ki godi me se to Mumma pass b nhi aana hota aapne.. pata nhi Kya karte b would apke; sath that u r just so fond of him..

The initial few months were a huge challenge-you barely slept a wink throughout the night. Your daddy and I would take turns to rock you,cuddle you but you wouldn’t just give up. The sleepless nights have gotten slightly better with time but you have managed to make us jump out of the bed by the faintest of your sound. My anxiety level,when it came to your well being was at paranoid best. Everytime you puked, I would start worrying that there’s a bug in your stomach. Remember when you had that horrible respiratory issue when u could feed or sleep or breathe.. , your daddy and I would stay up whole night trying to soothe you at the slightest of discomfort. I always thought I was good at bottling up emotions but the mere hint of a nasal congestion brought me to tears. Priorities changed. Topics aggressively researched on changed. When does a baby sit,when does he stand,when does he start waking – the endless list continues. The only decent conversations I seem to have these days are about weaning,potty training and vaccination schedule. A lot of my friends think I have gone nuts.

I can just go on and on. The 12 mnth journey will probably have more than 120 pages narration. Please know that your daddy and I love you unconditionally to the moon and back. I chose not to go back to work after my maternity leave got over because I didn’t want to miss a second of your growing up. And I feel so glad to have taken the decision and privileged to have the support of your father in the same.Till date, nothing comes closer to the feeling of happiness invoked by the sound of ‘Mum’ from you.

As we embark on a new journey hereon, let me tell you that you are the reason and inspiration for us for everyday..;

Precious little, I wish I could have said all this to you in person but you are way too young to understand. I am writing this with the hope that at any point of your life,if your thoughts are clouded by self doubts,this letter will tell you what you mean to us.Thank you for coming into our life.

Love
Ur everyday learning mumma...