Hi All,
I am really upset with things happening post marriage.My hubby is very supportive but still m unable to adjust to my mother in law.She is way too unpredictive n insecure..She doesn't like if I keep the house clean n tidy as i am very organised; n she is just opposite.Even in kitchen she keeps cooked food open n not covered.I just go and cover it without arguing but it keeps frustrating me.I am a working woman @and took a maternity break.I will b resuming back to work and have a 8 month baby .It's been 4 n; half years of marriage but m unable to adjust.These are just small examples there are lot of differencesm.She doesn't like the fact that I changed home as I have to maintain certain standard of living and I can't live that way the other thing that bothers me she is extremely religious n follows too many rituals which I don't believe me and it's unpractical for me as it's our work life is so hectic that we as a couple hardly find time for each other Intially I was simply asked to follow but after one year I strictly spelled out my choice that I don't follow much but still the environment suffocates me.She is one who treats women untouchable during periods and lot if restrictions which I hate like sitting aside ,giving food from.distance wash own utensils in washroom or elsewhere n what not.i simply find it annoying .The major issue us now after 8 months I got my periods but I have not told her.I am feeling guilty becoz we serve cooked food to God everyday at the same time I don't want to be dependent asking her or anyone to give me things or make food for my little one.I really don't know what you do.I am tired of so many differences.it literally suffocates me
I am really upset with things happening post marriage.My hubby is very supportive but still m unable to adjust to my mother in law.She is way too unpredictive n insecure..She doesn't like if I keep the house clean n tidy as i am very organised; n she is just opposite.Even in kitchen she keeps cooked food open n not covered.I just go and cover it without arguing but it keeps frustrating me.I am a working woman @and took a maternity break.I will b resuming back to work and have a 8 month baby .It's been 4 n; half years of marriage but m unable to adjust.These are just small examples there are lot of differencesm.She doesn't like the fact that I changed home as I have to maintain certain standard of living and I can't live that way the other thing that bothers me she is extremely religious n follows too many rituals which I don't believe me and it's unpractical for me as it's our work life is so hectic that we as a couple hardly find time for each other Intially I was simply asked to follow but after one year I strictly spelled out my choice that I don't follow much but still the environment suffocates me.She is one who treats women untouchable during periods and lot if restrictions which I hate like sitting aside ,giving food from.distance wash own utensils in washroom or elsewhere n what not.i simply find it annoying .The major issue us now after 8 months I got my periods but I have not told her.I am feeling guilty becoz we serve cooked food to God everyday at the same time I don't want to be dependent asking her or anyone to give me things or make food for my little one.I really don't know what you do.I am tired of so many differences.it literally suffocates me
I completely understand as I'm going through a similar phase currently. Talk to your hubby. Make him understand.; Make sure you don't lose your cool. It's very necessary to keep calm. Also, try communication from your side. Who knows that might just work in your favour? <br>
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Adjustment needs to be done from both sides and it's expected more from youngers than elders. The way you have told her about unable to follow rituals as strictly as she does same way slowly and steadily keep setting her other expectations also. Keep a full time maid if you are planning to leave your son at home once you join back work. Try to strike a rapport. Feelings are generally mutual. She also must be feeling your few things annoying and instead of saying it a loud she tries to do it thru her actions. No matter which relation, communication is the best way.
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My hubby is ready to separate but I don't want him to leave her mother alone so I feel I should separate from him.but living with her m ignoring is difficult for <u>me</u>
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And inspire of following what I like.i m not happy.i m following my principles of life but ifeel negative n hurt beciz she is not happy n m unable to accept y she has a problem if I m keeping things organized.n of course the main reason of her unhappiness is me not following rituals.but I can't follow blindly untill it comes from within.i was not anti religious person but after marriage I have become more obsessive over these issues
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sonam patel
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08 Nov 2017