I don't know how to start writing this but I don't want to keep it in my heart coz I know it will only add to my stress. Sorry but venting it out here.
Since yesterday feeling really low and sad. Don't know y but just getting the flashbacks of all the instances in my life which reflect to me that I'm nothing but a loser.
1) since childhood I was always compared with my cousin who is damn beautiful can say replica of preety zinta.. let alone even my husband hardly compliments me.
2) my dad always used to call me useless at home n also in family gatherings. Hence my relatives always considered me a black sheep in the family.
3) in office being the only girl in my team I'm always considered weak and looked down upon n hardly appreciated.
4) as my dad din like me mingle around n make frnds I don't have any bffs to speak my heart out with.
Always in life I had to prove my self worth. even though being as single child never got pampering or attention (my mom is the only one who loves me bit she also has her restrictions due to dad). My husband also never celebrates or does anything special for me. I have made sure to make him feel special from our engagement day by writing letters n mails to him, by celebrating his birthday every year in a unique way.but never these things have been reciprocated towards me. My mil always praises others bahu's, gets offended even if I tell something for her own good.
Hence due to all this I'm trying since yesterday n feeling like a loser in all roles of my life right from being a daughter to a wife to a daughter in law.
I want to be a good mother for my child and provide him or her the best.. I hope my child is happy with me. 😞
Since yesterday feeling really low and sad. Don't know y but just getting the flashbacks of all the instances in my life which reflect to me that I'm nothing but a loser.
1) since childhood I was always compared with my cousin who is damn beautiful can say replica of preety zinta.. let alone even my husband hardly compliments me.
2) my dad always used to call me useless at home n also in family gatherings. Hence my relatives always considered me a black sheep in the family.
3) in office being the only girl in my team I'm always considered weak and looked down upon n hardly appreciated.
4) as my dad din like me mingle around n make frnds I don't have any bffs to speak my heart out with.
Always in life I had to prove my self worth. even though being as single child never got pampering or attention (my mom is the only one who loves me bit she also has her restrictions due to dad). My husband also never celebrates or does anything special for me. I have made sure to make him feel special from our engagement day by writing letters n mails to him, by celebrating his birthday every year in a unique way.but never these things have been reciprocated towards me. My mil always praises others bahu's, gets offended even if I tell something for her own good.
Hence due to all this I'm trying since yesterday n feeling like a loser in all roles of my life right from being a daughter to a wife to a daughter in law.
I want to be a good mother for my child and provide him or her the best.. I hope my child is happy with me. 😞
You are going to be the centre of universe for the little one. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.. YOU ARE SPECIAL!
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Dear<br>
Firstly, you deserve to be hugged, let me tell you that you are so beautiful and having such strength to put up with all such stress around and still could be so respectful to them and I adore ur emotional strength. You are doing awesome, happiness is within us search nowhere. You need no appreciation, you are beautiful
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My dear friend Anon, I was fed up of asking and expecting others to make me happy or tell me I am doing good. I realized that happiness is a choice . Why should I ask or let others decide how I am. I know I'm a good person...that's all. If someone else does not appreciate me...that's fine. Pls do things to make yourself happy.
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You know what dear? All of this is going to make you the best mother and a mother in law in future. Because you know what it takes to desire love and affection and you're going to be loved to bits by your child for showering your unattained love on them. Cheer up don't let ppl put you down. The world wasn't made for reprimanding and condescending ppl, it was made for winners like you. I know it's tough but imagine so many ppl here who don't even know you have so much of faith in you just by one post. I don't really think you need to prove yourself to be good at any relationship. We live in a patriarchal world unfortunately but you do know that women are mentally and physically (child birth) really strong. So use your strength and walk all over such ppl. It is no one else but you who makes 'you'. So the big picture is, your <u>smart</u>, well educated, a beautiful human being and that's all your baby really needs. Cheers to the amazing mom in you.
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Anonymous
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21 Sep 2018