I had a terrible fight with my husband and mil. Don't know how to manage them now. The thing is I heard them talking.
Hubby:There should be two wives one to manage home and another to earn. I should get another wife.
MIL:Can you manage both.
Just as I entered.
MIL:Has she heard everything.
2days after that. On discussion and complaint about food.
Me: We should hire a maid to cook. So that I too get good food.
MIL:Thats why he was saying he should get another wife.
I got angry and stopped talking to my husband. He came to me with our 7 month son while I was doing some work asked me what happened and trying to be good.
Next day, I got so irritated and was not talking to my husband. We have a joint family.
My son was crying to go out. I told him wait till your new mom comes.
As soon as in evening my husband came my MIL started saying all that to him. still then I was not seeing his face or talking to him.
Late in night at 12 while having dinner my MIL asked whether he will be going to office tomorrow or not and what to cook. She asks this every day. I got irritated and said cant you see we not talking to each other. He will talk to his new wife which you both will bring. My husband came then and my SIL asked why you not saying sorry. Then he said I have mood swings every other week this is just drama and he was joking. Sometimes we do kid each other about why not having affairs to make life interesting.
Then I said he and me joking is fine. But MIL saying all this thing is not joking. And I told my hubby what kind of joke has he learned.
Then MIL : We dont joke at home. She who is she questioning what I taught him. She doesn't know manner and all that. Rest I didn't hear
Came to sleep and put on earphones. They kept on saying something about me. Husband came and said they talking about you. I ignored and slept. She kept on crying and saying something.
And now they not talking to me. What to do. I don't have any fault so i won't say sorry.
Hubby:There should be two wives one to manage home and another to earn. I should get another wife.
MIL:Can you manage both.
Just as I entered.
MIL:Has she heard everything.
2days after that. On discussion and complaint about food.
Me: We should hire a maid to cook. So that I too get good food.
MIL:Thats why he was saying he should get another wife.
I got angry and stopped talking to my husband. He came to me with our 7 month son while I was doing some work asked me what happened and trying to be good.
Next day, I got so irritated and was not talking to my husband. We have a joint family.
My son was crying to go out. I told him wait till your new mom comes.
As soon as in evening my husband came my MIL started saying all that to him. still then I was not seeing his face or talking to him.
Late in night at 12 while having dinner my MIL asked whether he will be going to office tomorrow or not and what to cook. She asks this every day. I got irritated and said cant you see we not talking to each other. He will talk to his new wife which you both will bring. My husband came then and my SIL asked why you not saying sorry. Then he said I have mood swings every other week this is just drama and he was joking. Sometimes we do kid each other about why not having affairs to make life interesting.
Then I said he and me joking is fine. But MIL saying all this thing is not joking. And I told my hubby what kind of joke has he learned.
Then MIL : We dont joke at home. She who is she questioning what I taught him. She doesn't know manner and all that. Rest I didn't hear
Came to sleep and put on earphones. They kept on saying something about me. Husband came and said they talking about you. I ignored and slept. She kept on crying and saying something.
And now they not talking to me. What to do. I don't have any fault so i won't say sorry.
Even a joke has its limits and saying having an affair to pep things up in a relationship (I am not sure how) is no joke at all. Please keep communication lines open, very essential in any relationship. Let me tell you this, its never easy to live in the same house as MIL, but definitely workable. For this you need to work on being pals with hubby first. One small piece of advise, there are things you can ignore and a few things you can tell the other when you dislike. Happiness lies somewhere in between. :)
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Relax now that you have given them a strong warning they will know how to behave. Of course Mil can't joke like this.
Similar scene at my place also last Saturday, My husband got transferred to Malaysia both our visas were processed but I got pregnant after so many years of struggle so doctor said no travelling till the delivery, My mil who is not happy about our transfer become very happy that I'm not going, I ignored whatever she said because my priority is my baby. While talking I said once we give Baptism for the baby and passport visa all work I will leave, She immediately started opposing that i cant travel for 6 montha blah blah I said I can't leave my husband alone as he can't manage alone. .. for that my husband joked "No no i can manage " My mil was so happy to hear that and laughed . i don't know from where i got that anger in me.. my nose and lips were beating like anything and i shouted at my husband. she of course supports her son the dil is always wrong. but i was ao hurt, next day he kept apologizing I spoke because he was leaving me that night if not i would have prolonged this fight. but now my husband will know what i will do if he is going to joke like this.
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u hv amazing guidance from momstars.. as sheeba said.. there shud not be unwanted relationship talks in our marital life. as sumira said.. don't bring it to ur fight childs notice..cz kids will feel unsafe.. nd especially it shud not be come to ur MIL S knowledge as she s a third person.. u shud talk to ur hubby.. in fact.. every family has its own flaws.. it's natural.. in this world.. nothing is perfect... at this stage u may feel angry nd all.. but after sometime it will really faded away.. moreover being in tension stress angry will badly affect our health... treat urself wt nutritious food.. I too have some issues with family members.. but still I go with them like without having such issues.. it's bcz am gud... moreover I just wanted be healthy nd happy... I can't compromise my happiness just fa others deed... hope u get sooner relief from this..
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Hugs to you.  I  completely agree with <u>sheeba</u> there are certain things you can't joke about.  There seems to be communication gap talk to your husband and sort out. You need to stay calm your little boy needs you the most.  Try meditation or yoga.  Read books, listen to music, take your child to parks.  Take care.
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Revathi suresh
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09 Jun 2017