I was the unlucky one to marry a mama’s boy! I lived in a prison, literally a prison! A mama’s boy isn’t a good thing! It’s not about loving your mom. It’s about being INVISIBLE in a marriage!
It’s about being there but only as per the instructions of your mother! No intimacy, no affection, no connection. The only connection they have with you is through the mother’s expectations!
She won’t wear westerns. I don’t know what you think of it but in this family, she can’t (husband quiet)
We want a child within 2 years. Already he got late for his wedding. Now we can’t wait anymore. (Husband quiet)
He can’t go to your parent's home and stay. This doesn’t happen in our home. They sent their daughter here. (Husband quiet)
Have dinner at home only. This is our family time. I didn’t go out ever earlier with his papa. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I respect that he is not mine, he is the family’s first. (For one-day dinner? And yes guess what Husband Quiet)
In our home, women have to make and serve breakfast. This is the tradition. This increases warmth. (Husband quiet)
If you have to join a job today, you will take care of the home and family.(Husband quiet)
Don’t change things in the room. We likes how it’s set for years. I know him. (Husband quiet)
This was my place in my husband’s life.
My husband was on mute and his remote control with his mother.
I wouldn’t have cared an ounce of their inner equation had they not chosen to marry me in this home!
I had no voice in this home. My husband didn’t have it too. But this was his choice. He had an escape in form of friends, drinking, work (you know the man thing)
But in this case, I was caged. I was twisted; my relationship controlled, I controlled in the most sadist manner and everything was done because I got married to a mama’s boy!
Imagine not having a love life, a personal life, and freedom just because you get married. It is worse than a prison.
I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to change it. How to escape. I was made to feel I was the bad one, the nonadjusting one, the not so deserving one!
I have started Yoga .
It was here that I could feel the old Shivangi again. It was here that I could remind myself that I can have a life outside this cage. I explored all dimensions of my relationship and came to the conclusion that this man wasn’t going to change.
It wasn’t even his fault completely. He had a sorry life. He would never have an independent relationship.
He is controlled so much to the point of being blinded. But rescuing him wasn’t my job. Rescuing myself was...
I got clarity for myself through the process and it was me who made and learned my decisions that I didn’t want to be in a pseudo toxic relationship with his mom in the garb of a marriage where my husband just happens to be invisible!
I decided to get away from this toxicity and live my life again: it was tough. The society that I came from, conservative and women unfriendly isn’t supportive of such strong gestures! But I fought through.
I am out of that toxic mess. I don’t have a dummy husband now. And neither do I have prison as home.
I am a bird who is lifting small pieces up to make her nest, it’s tough but I feel free.
And I have decided to never be a mother like this to my child ,if I get married again or so . I will never make them a slave of my wishes..: it’s painful and it’s unbecoming!
It’s about being there but only as per the instructions of your mother! No intimacy, no affection, no connection. The only connection they have with you is through the mother’s expectations!
She won’t wear westerns. I don’t know what you think of it but in this family, she can’t (husband quiet)
We want a child within 2 years. Already he got late for his wedding. Now we can’t wait anymore. (Husband quiet)
He can’t go to your parent's home and stay. This doesn’t happen in our home. They sent their daughter here. (Husband quiet)
Have dinner at home only. This is our family time. I didn’t go out ever earlier with his papa. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I respect that he is not mine, he is the family’s first. (For one-day dinner? And yes guess what Husband Quiet)
In our home, women have to make and serve breakfast. This is the tradition. This increases warmth. (Husband quiet)
If you have to join a job today, you will take care of the home and family.(Husband quiet)
Don’t change things in the room. We likes how it’s set for years. I know him. (Husband quiet)
This was my place in my husband’s life.
My husband was on mute and his remote control with his mother.
I wouldn’t have cared an ounce of their inner equation had they not chosen to marry me in this home!
I had no voice in this home. My husband didn’t have it too. But this was his choice. He had an escape in form of friends, drinking, work (you know the man thing)
But in this case, I was caged. I was twisted; my relationship controlled, I controlled in the most sadist manner and everything was done because I got married to a mama’s boy!
Imagine not having a love life, a personal life, and freedom just because you get married. It is worse than a prison.
I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to change it. How to escape. I was made to feel I was the bad one, the nonadjusting one, the not so deserving one!
I have started Yoga .
It was here that I could feel the old Shivangi again. It was here that I could remind myself that I can have a life outside this cage. I explored all dimensions of my relationship and came to the conclusion that this man wasn’t going to change.
It wasn’t even his fault completely. He had a sorry life. He would never have an independent relationship.
He is controlled so much to the point of being blinded. But rescuing him wasn’t my job. Rescuing myself was...
I got clarity for myself through the process and it was me who made and learned my decisions that I didn’t want to be in a pseudo toxic relationship with his mom in the garb of a marriage where my husband just happens to be invisible!
I decided to get away from this toxicity and live my life again: it was tough. The society that I came from, conservative and women unfriendly isn’t supportive of such strong gestures! But I fought through.
I am out of that toxic mess. I don’t have a dummy husband now. And neither do I have prison as home.
I am a bird who is lifting small pieces up to make her nest, it’s tough but I feel free.
And I have decided to never be a mother like this to my child ,if I get married again or so . I will never make them a slave of my wishes..: it’s painful and it’s unbecoming!
