I'm pregnant... Not disabled!!
The clock showed 4:20pm, and I started getting the house ready for my students who would start pouring in for the class soon. Empty hall is needed for the classes since dance can't happen in a confined area. (For who don't know, I take kathak classes for kids in my apartment)
Soon, the doorbell rang. One of my students came in. And she was the only one who turned up, although I was expecting 3 of them.
We proceeded with the class, and finally after she left, I pinged their moms on the WhatsApp group that why didn't they come for the class.
(Backstory : my students just appeared for their University dance exams last week, and everyone was all praises that I was still continuing with the class despite being heavily pregnant- almost 8 months)
Now, I have approval from my gynecologist who totally seconds my wish to continue with classes till date of delivery, as it's a great excuse to workout, and staying active is must in Pregnancy. Ofcourse, till I feel comfortable with it.
So, I received a reply soon from both moms, and I was surprised to see that how people assume things on their own. The same people who were praising me for continuing with the classes in Pregnancy, had suddenly assumed that I won't be continuing anymore with the classes, hence had decided that the girls won't be coming anymore for the classes since I was pregnant and would anyway stop, although I had made it clear long back that I'll be taking the classes as long as I can.
I got to hear things like "you are pregnant, so I guess you won't be continuing. I already enrolled her for some other class (non dance)" , "after your delivery when you start the classes, maybe she will join back then" , "dance at this stage, won't it harm you?" , "I thought anyway you would stop"
And, "you should rest now".
Well.
My first question to people, who gave you the right to decide things on my behalf, if I feel fit enough to continue or not?
If I feel even an ounce of discomfort, I'll tell on my own.
Am I offended? Am I upset?
Yes. Am I surprised?
No. Isn't it a common scene in our country anyway? Companies seldom hire ladies for jobs as they will get married, get pregnant and go for maternity leave. Although it's illegal for companies to terminate any Pregnant lady from the job, still, it happens. Ladies are either forced to resign when they inform the employer of their Pregnancy, or not given opportunities after coming back, so they feel unwanted.
Yes, many ladies willingly leave their jobs when they conceive, and I totally support the idea if they want to be at home for their little one. I myself, am one of them, who wanted to give all of my time to my daughter, just like my mother did. I wanted to see her grow, cherish her milestones.
But all said, does it give anyone the right to decide things on my behalf that should I work or not? I don't think so.
I wanted to feel independent enough to take decisions for myself, so that I can do what I like. Dance is one of them. When my body is comfortable, my babies are happy and cooperative, and I feel extremely comfortable and happy with what I'm doing, why should I stop doing something I love so much, just because the society thinks so?
I'm just Pregnant. Everyone has different capacity when it comes to do things in Pregnancy. When I feel capable enough to do something, why should I stop doing it because according to the society, I should be resting, sleeping all day and having lots of food. Basically, enjoying life.
My idea of enjoying life is this, what I'm doing. And I'm not on the same page with the society when it comes to working in Pregnancy.
Afterall, I'm just Pregnant, not disabled. #bbcreatorsclub
#wishfulbyakanksha
#mylittlesunshine
#workinginpregnancy
#pregnantandworking
The clock showed 4:20pm, and I started getting the house ready for my students who would start pouring in for the class soon. Empty hall is needed for the classes since dance can't happen in a confined area. (For who don't know, I take kathak classes for kids in my apartment)
Soon, the doorbell rang. One of my students came in. And she was the only one who turned up, although I was expecting 3 of them.
We proceeded with the class, and finally after she left, I pinged their moms on the WhatsApp group that why didn't they come for the class.
(Backstory : my students just appeared for their University dance exams last week, and everyone was all praises that I was still continuing with the class despite being heavily pregnant- almost 8 months)
Now, I have approval from my gynecologist who totally seconds my wish to continue with classes till date of delivery, as it's a great excuse to workout, and staying active is must in Pregnancy. Ofcourse, till I feel comfortable with it.
So, I received a reply soon from both moms, and I was surprised to see that how people assume things on their own. The same people who were praising me for continuing with the classes in Pregnancy, had suddenly assumed that I won't be continuing anymore with the classes, hence had decided that the girls won't be coming anymore for the classes since I was pregnant and would anyway stop, although I had made it clear long back that I'll be taking the classes as long as I can.
I got to hear things like "you are pregnant, so I guess you won't be continuing. I already enrolled her for some other class (non dance)" , "after your delivery when you start the classes, maybe she will join back then" , "dance at this stage, won't it harm you?" , "I thought anyway you would stop"
And, "you should rest now".
Well.
My first question to people, who gave you the right to decide things on my behalf, if I feel fit enough to continue or not?
If I feel even an ounce of discomfort, I'll tell on my own.
Am I offended? Am I upset?
Yes. Am I surprised?
No. Isn't it a common scene in our country anyway? Companies seldom hire ladies for jobs as they will get married, get pregnant and go for maternity leave. Although it's illegal for companies to terminate any Pregnant lady from the job, still, it happens. Ladies are either forced to resign when they inform the employer of their Pregnancy, or not given opportunities after coming back, so they feel unwanted.
Yes, many ladies willingly leave their jobs when they conceive, and I totally support the idea if they want to be at home for their little one. I myself, am one of them, who wanted to give all of my time to my daughter, just like my mother did. I wanted to see her grow, cherish her milestones.
But all said, does it give anyone the right to decide things on my behalf that should I work or not? I don't think so.
I wanted to feel independent enough to take decisions for myself, so that I can do what I like. Dance is one of them. When my body is comfortable, my babies are happy and cooperative, and I feel extremely comfortable and happy with what I'm doing, why should I stop doing something I love so much, just because the society thinks so?
I'm just Pregnant. Everyone has different capacity when it comes to do things in Pregnancy. When I feel capable enough to do something, why should I stop doing it because according to the society, I should be resting, sleeping all day and having lots of food. Basically, enjoying life.
My idea of enjoying life is this, what I'm doing. And I'm not on the same page with the society when it comes to working in Pregnancy.
Afterall, I'm just Pregnant, not disabled. #bbcreatorsclub
#wishfulbyakanksha
#mylittlesunshine
#workinginpregnancy
#pregnantandworking
awesome post dear
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<span style="color:#3B5998;"><b> @5faad652f7703d00457d910d </b></span> can't agree more!!!!
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Totally agree <span style="color:#3B5998;"><b> @616fd972ade2a9001326872e </b></span> ! Unfortunately there is no immediate solution to this. However once birth rates decline drastically due to women being forced to pick sides, the society will start changing..hopefully. When you help a pregnant woman it's not a favour you are doing to her, it's your duty as a member of the society to help.
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<span style="color:#3B5998;"><b> @5faad652f7703d00457d910d </b></span> no one really bothers until it's directly related to them. In companies, until the boss's wife is pregnant or the lady boss herself is pregnant, they don't really realise the impact it has on the pregnant employees. It's practical for them - why should I pay you for cleaning dirty nappies of YOUR child. After maternity leave too, ladies generally aren't given opportunities and handed responsibilities like they were pre Pregnancy. Because they won't be able to give their 100% to the job as their attention will lie with the baby. We as ladies, try to strike a balance everywhere, between job, child and home. The only thing we require, is a bit of support from family, and office so that we can be successful in our endeavours.
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Nivetha Muralidharan
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13 Nov 2019