Is my child AUSTISTIC?
At one point or another, we've always thought if our child's peculiarities are just behavior or a problem but what do we do about it?
I realized weird behavior in my child at around the age of 2 years. And I sat on that hunch for another 2 years.
At an age of 4 I finally took my child to an occupational therapist who suggested that my child is on the "autism spectrum".
Somewhere I waited for this diagnosis to come because my hunch was very strong! So when he got that comment from. The OT, I thought I was prepared for it, but I was devastated.
For days and days I had innumerable questions going on in my mind. As soon as the kids and husband would leave home and I'd be left alone, I'd spent all these 3 to 4 hours crying to myself.

Could it be the excessive screen time I gave him? Is it something I ate wrong during pregnancy? Did I check all his vaccines for expiry dates and right temperature? Did I feed him something inappropriate? Will he ever be able to. Cope up on his own? Will people get to know that he has a mental disability? Will they taunt him? Will they corner him and torture him? Will he get married? Will his condition make him succeptible to comorbid disorders? Am I at fault? Who is at fault? Why is this happening?
I couldn't control the chain of daunting g thoughts.
The therapist also said that he shouldn't have the gfcf diet. Now the gluten free casein(dairy) free diet = gfcf diet was prescribed for him. He also does not eat rice. So no pasta, burger, chocolates, rotisserie, paranthas, dahi, cheese, Pizza, kadha Prasad, birthday cakes, samosas, MATHRI , biscuits NOTHING.
What did my child do to deserve this?
I tried talking to some friends who's kids had been diagnosed or who have been working in this field but no one gave me clear direction or helped me understand this.
Stumbling here and there, I found a developmental pediatrician, who's per hour fees was 2000. Any assessment would take 3-4 sessions.
We met her today for a second opinion and within minutes she could confirm that my child is jot autistic, nor in The autism spectrum. Of course I jumped with joy. That's how I finally started coming online again or else I had shut everything.
Here is my learning from this life changing incident.
1. I have a doubt about my child being a little abnormal
If you have a hunch; DO GET YOUR CHILD TESTED. if it's a wrong hunch, you will be free. If your hunch comes out right, you will Be able to help your child tremendously
2. Whom to meet

The first person you should meet is a DEVELOPMENTAL PEDIATRICIAN. they are authorized to check milestones, prescribe some medication if required. They will guide you if it is a neurological problem (and suggest meeting a neurologist) or a physical problem (meet an occupational therapist) or a behavioral issue (meet a Psychologist) or even a speech therapist if required.
3. What is the right age
Children's brain majorly grown by the age of 5 years, and completes by the age of 10 years. The sooner you go and consult, the sooner you will be able to make a change. The later you go, the more brain is developed making new changes difficult.
4. Should I really go?
It is anyday better to be told that your hunch is wrong and your child is absolutely fine. But what is there is an issue - is your delay worth it? No, it's not
5. Are there any lifestyle changes I should practice?
Yes. First and foremost, remove screen time for your children. Till 15-20 days back I was a work from home women. After my children came back from school they watched TV while I worked on the laptop. They watched tv/phone for 5-7 hours a day. I worked to financially support my family but somewhere that support was pushing my kids towards unhealthy development. So I gave up a lot of my projects and picked up only what I can work on in the 2-4 hours when my kids are in school.
Their screen time has been reduced to maximum of 1 hour a day which includes TV and mobile phone both.
Go to the playground EVERYDAY. when children meet more children and engage in everyday conversations their minds grow better.
6. What if my child is diagnosed with autism?
There's nothing to blame yourself about. There's nothing you could have done to prevent it so stop beating yourself up. Educate yourself from the right resources and strive to help your child cope better in his life. A lot of thibgs are in your control.
I had always been empathetic and understanding towards people's problems and supported them if they had a special needs child. If this incident has taught me something, it is to experience the aging and disturbance a mother goes through when such a diagnosis comes her way. It is very daunting, debilitating, intimidating and frightening. But as a mom, our jobs are not to be scared, our jobs are to carry extra swords so you can hand one to your child... And fight everything unpleasant that comes your way. After this incident, all I have to say, is that if you ever want to talk to someone, think of me. If you ever feel a situation is jot working our, talk to me. Be strong and make efforts to build up yourself. Children always come first, before your job, before your leisure, before everything else in the world.
Thank you for reading through.
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