#mamalearnings
If you want to the park…. Finish your breakfast quickly” Well, this trick worked every time to get their plates clean instantly. Aryan 5 and Vihaan 3 looked at their mom and got the seriousness of the promise.  Aryan nibbled on his first bite of dosa and whined “I don’t like dosa”. Vihaan spit his first bite too.
“Let go honey!! Let them eat their cornflakes”. As always husband had to share his ‘expert’ opinion, siding up the kids….
She glared at him !! “it is important to eat fermented food once a week for the good bacteria in your stomach… at least once must they not eat well cooked breakfast… cornflakes every day !!!! should you not be telling them to eat well… but you….” Then she first turned to Aryan…. Made him eat the whole dosa bite by bite.
“take whatever you want to, I am feeding Vihaan” but Vihaan did not give in, she then just gave him a glass of milk and proceeded…
“come back on time, we have to go to Rajeev’s in the afternoon” husband piped in. “yeah yeah I know, we will be back in an hour, you be ready until then” she quickly changed and got ball, water bags, sand play, cycles and went to the park close by.
Spring had just set it, with daffodils by the road, it was a lovely warm day in this small town in England. Little Vihaan was enjoying his tricycle but Aryan was still a bit down. He had kept his cycle away and was just pushing the ball around. She felt gratitude looking at her handsome sons. It was a sweet transition from a couple to mom and dad and now she was realising how much it takes to the role of a mom…. And thought of her own mom…
They were very careful with Aryan while they had Vihaan. They did not want him to feel neglected, lonely. As it is Aryan was the quieter one but Vihaan was a dashing one. But she thought it only reflected their psychology as first time parents and then more settled parents…. She had read something like that on the net. Her own career in IT, the ‘do it yourself’ culture in a foreign country and plus kids… it was almost acrobatic!!!
Once again she looked at her kids… Vihaan was having fun but Aryan was just standing… sulking. She went to him and asked -  you don’t want to cycle today? “NO” – alright then, let’s play ball. “OKAY” he said but he was not into it, she could feel it. She was a bit worried – what happened sweetheart? Are you okay? “I am so bored mom” She lost her head when she heard “bored”. Such a lovely day this is! We don’t get to step out in winter months here and here we have so much to give you Ipads, computers and still they are bored? BORED – what the heck!!! She was about to start a list of chores she had left behind to come to the partk, then she saw Aryan’s friend and his mom walking in, so she just zipped her mouth.
But Aryan was not playing with his friend as well today. She complained about his moods to the other mom and said – I guess we should just leave.  She gathered up the kids and went back home.
On the way back, she pressed on – Aryan, what’s your problem? I leave so much behind to entertain you guys and you just want to whine and cry. I do not expect a “thank you” but at least show some sensitivity and play well and enjoy!! Forget it, I would rather be home and work, no park anymore…. Aryan had tears in his eyes and Vihaan did not understand the issue so he just looked at his big brother with worried eyes…
They reached home and her husband could get the bad moods. He only asked her “did you eat the dosa, honey?” Just when she was about to answer, they heard some noise in the hall – Aryan had vomited everything that he had eaten. Dosa did not go well on him. Husband said “I was just going to tell you that the dosa did not taste good indeed, I guess the batter had got over fermented” She just ran to Aryan, hugged him, cleaned him and gave him some sugar. She just cuddled him and sat with tears in her eyes. “Sorry my pup, you were feeling uneasy and I was scolding you. Why did you not tell me…. I am soo sooo sorry”
“It’s ok mommy”. Aryan wiped her tears with his tiny fingers and cuddled on to her more. She was feeling very guilty but the rest of the day followed well.
That evening she called her mom and narrated the morning incidence. She was still feeling bad about her behaviour, she had tears again and again while talking to her mom, “How much I mistake mom, I try so hard and still I make mistakes. What kind of memories am I giving Aryan and Vihaan – nothing but an ever-wrongful mom – What must they be feeling about me mom!”
“stop thinking child!” her mom said. “Before Aryan came, you were just yourself, an Engineer, yes, but you were not a mom. So you are also born just 5 years back.  Like he is learning through mistakes, so are you. Sometimes, its him, sometimes its you making mistakes. But what remains is – LOVE! I have my share of mistakes too, but what do you remember today? Nothing but how much I have ‘done’ for you. Your intentions do reach through! Do not worry. Your love is seen by them, felt by them. Do not try to be the BEST, do not run around trying to make every thing PERFECT. Like you are taking care of your babies – do take care of my baby too.” She felt touched and felt a lot better after speaking with mom. Just when she hung up, Vihaan and Aryan came running to her – before she even blinked, Aryan threw a ball at her, she caught it in just one hand… the kids cheered and hugged her tight…
Well, the wrongful mom was dropping all the balls 😊
Translated from an article written by

Dr. Madhuri Thakur.