From the time you come out of your labour room, every minute, every second you are under constant surveillance of two eager eyes. Like a coast guard who watches the coasts of the sea and the BSF watching the boarders of a country, you are watched every single moment. It's only when nap nap time dawns you can breathe a sigh of relief. What you talk, how you talk, what you do, how you do, everything everytime. It's like these tiny brains are working like computers at a speed of a light year trying to grasp and store all information and replicate it or imitate it.;
We all know and understand that kids learn by watching and observing. They are busy all the time, keeping us busy too. Most importantly they learn from people they spend most of their time with and we all would agree on this. As parents, we are also under constant monitoring by their tiny eyes. They wanna know, learn and explore and learn more. The learning begins and just doesn't end unless we decide not;to do so anymore. It's a daily process, a process that builds us, breaks us, teaches us and makes us what we wanna be or who we wanna be.;
This post is about something I noticed in my son and was appreciated by my entire family about it. I thought I was the only one watching and observing him. But that was not the case, he was being, (I'd use the word) scrutinized by everyone even neighbours. His manners, the way he addressed others, the way he carried himself at walks and couple of other things has won hearts and now he has friends my dad's age who love talking to him or his company. It some how made me realise that, I didn't teach him certain things. He has picked them up by just watching and observing me or probably my husband.
1. How we talk and treat others - it's so important for us to be absolutely careful while talking infront of kids, especially the ones in the age group of 6 months to 12 years. They take note of how are we addressing and who are we addressing as what. What are our conversations and how we speak. My husband and I usually converse in Hindi or English, but when I have to in Hindi or Telugu I use second person like we do in hindi and say Aap similarly. Aarav noticed that anyone elder to me, even if it was the house keeping lady or the security in the society, I addressed them as aap. So he not only addresses his dad as aap and but also the house keeping staff as aap and has gained a lot of admiration from them for giving them respect. We have constantly ensured not to use certain words in his presence and avoid conversations that are unhealthy for him to know and listen. How our kids treat others depends largely on the way we treat others.;
2. Spend money wisely - Priya Sood's comment to my previous post actually made me realise that kids learn to spend also by watching, so spend wisely. You determine your kids future to be a spendthrift or spend wisely. Teach your kids the right idea of money and saving and spending.; Thank you Priya Sood.
3. What you teach is what you follow - I'd like to share an instance here. I have been teaching Aarav traffic signals for about a month now and he already understands them. I had to teach him at such an early stage because he used keep questioning me "why has out car stopped and why are all waiting?" So, I had to explain the reason, so now he tells his dad when it's red you have to stop. But recently it so happen that a biker happen to jump a signal and since there was no cop and no traffic, my husband too moved our vehicle. Immediately there was a reaction we didn't expect "papa , the light was still red and you moved, should you not wait until it's green??" We were blank, so my husband had to make up some story and convince him it won't repeat. Hence, it's pretty much important to practice what we teach else seal that then and there.;
4. Keep yourself available - A while ago, my husband was totally held up with work. He wasn't getting enough time to spend and he was helpless. Even at home, he was constantly engaged either over the phone or laptop or both. Aarav tried his best to gain attention and play his dad, but nothing worked. So one night, before we hit bed it's a ritual they spent some sad n son time which wasn't happening. So, he (Aarav) quietly turned towards me and said "papa is always busy these days!! Doesn't even call me aaru!! Only says office work office work!!" I was left dumbfounded, realising the fact that, he did notice his father wasn't spending time with him and was busy with work. The next morning, I spoke about it to my husband and ever since then no matter how busy he is , he ensures our son gets his share of time.;
This is just a small part of the larger picture. There are several other things that they watch and learn. Like eating habits, they watch the way you eat and imitate the same. The way you dress up, the way you tidy up the house or your personal belongings or the way you maintain your stuff around, the way you give orders to your subordinates, the way you treat others. They are learning, every minute, every second. Under the watchful eyes of these tiny humans , we have a massive task of always trying to be an example to follow and or look up to.;
Mahima Atishaya
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17 Apr 2019