Mother of two boys – one is ten and a half years old, the other four and a half. She heads a Content Writing team and works entirely from home. She is passionate about books, travel, gardening and fitness. Machu Picchu in Peru is the one place in the world on her bucket list! She finds J.K Rowling totally inspiring and wonders how amazing it would be to think like her.

Meet Gayatri Rao in a candid MomVersation! A much loved MomStar on BabyChakra, Gayatri says her house is eternally messy partly because of the kids, and partly because she couldn’t be bothered!

Q: Being a working woman, how difficult was it for you to jump into motherhood?
Gayatri: I didn’t have to put an extra effort to enter motherhood as I knew the game all too well. At twelve my twin half-sisters were born and I knew all about handling babies, their needs, and even the tough task of giving infants a bath. With twins an extra helping hand was always needed. I was fascinated by babies back then and did a lot of tasks very willingly.

Q. How long did you take a sabbatical from work?
Gayatri: I was off and on work. I moved companies to keep my career running while my babies grew but unfortunately in India there are no fixed work hours and a mum who leaves for home on time, even if she gives in her full day’s work without unnecessary breaks, is considered a non-achiever. I was no way a non-achiever, and I realized right then that my priorities were different. I needed a job that revolved around my kids and not the other way round. It’s four year since I work entirely from home and in a job that gives me the flexibility to schedule my work as long as I manage to keep to the time lines. So here I am, happy to work like a zombie - late at nights when the kids have slept, or early in the morning before it is time to send them to school and then again during the time they are in school.

Q. Was getting back to work difficult? If so how did you overcome it?
Gayatri: Getting back to work outside home after baby is tough. Every little thing you do at workplace reminds you of your baby. It is worse the first few days but it does get better after a while. But yes, I could never enjoy a corporate dinner or outing without the feeling of guilt and the worry of what my kids were doing back home. I never actually overcame it; I was just lucky that I found a work-from-home option.

Q. How was your pregnancy journey? Did you have any challenges? If so, how did you deal with them?
Gayatri: Both my pregnancies were uneventful, by this I mean I was really blessed. I did everything any normal person did just in safer measures. I travelled to work till the end of my term too, but what caught me off guard was the RA (rheumatic arthritis) symptoms I was showing post pregnancy after my first born. Arthritis is there in the family and an aunt who was pretty young when she got it was almost crippled. I faced the worst trauma of my life when I had to endure that pain. All the joints in my body ached; it was worse early morning and when it was cold. I couldn’t turn from one side to another in bed without help. Here I was, a breastfeeding mother who was finding it almost impossible to hold my child too. I did find a great doctor who identified my ailment and treated me too. No one could get me to take the medicines because even after the doctor convinced me that the medicines he prescribed were safe for a breastfeeding mother like me, the worry of taking strong medicines during breastfeeding was tearing me apart. This is when my husband sat me down and explained that I had to take the medicines to ensure that I had the right to a better motherhood instead of a painful one that I was going through. Sometimes it takes only a partner to put sense into you. I am glad he did that day.

Q. What is the one characteristic about your husband that you admire the most?
Gayatri: What I admire most about him is his dependability. While I cannot depend over him to watch over while the milk boils, I can sure lean on him and know that the kids are happy while I am away spending my ‘me’ time away from home.

Q: Work, home, kids, husband. How do you manage everything seamlessly?
Gayatri: A healthy diet and a good exercise is what every woman needs to stay strong in both body and mind. Only this gives you the energy to course through your entire day without losing it. And to seamlessly run the day, it is very important to stay organized. I don’t use a maid to cook so I need to plan and get the menu ready in my head the day before. With kids there is a lot of last minute work, which my husband takes over when he is home. In fact after he comes back he is completely with them, which gets me to complete a lot of undone work.

Q. Three advantages of working from home and 3 disadvantages
Gayatri: Advantages:
a) It helps me be a part of my children’s world without missing a thing. I have always wanted the cake and to eat it too!
b) There is no hassle of commute, which is crazy in big cities that I have lived. It saves me the commute money and also the money I’d invest in buying formal clothes every now and then.
c) There is no geographic limit. I can be at office anywhere I go and the best part of all is that I can be in my PJ and still take an important office call.
Disadvantages:
a) It is tough to develop camaraderie with your work mates when you work remotely.
b) With children in the house it is tough to take an important call and be professional. Usually when I have to take a work call I make arrangements to keep the kids with a neighbor or my husband steps in. But this once when an urgent con-call was arranged and the kids were at home, I left my older one in charge of the younger fellow. But in a few minutes, the younger one kept banging my door like there was no tomorrow, screaming ‘potty-potty’. It was so embarrassing and I had to drop off the call.
c) There are instances I am so slovenly dressed that I think that if I was out at office I would appear better.

Q: What is your favorite activity you do with both boys?
Gayatri: We all love to read books and my older one has developed an interest in gardening like me. With him I enjoy playing a game of badminton and with the younger one it is reading out to him.

Q: Tell us about dad-boys activities. What do they do as a threesome and what do you do then?! :)
Gayatri: The dad-boys activities are playing cricket indoors and outdoors, going to the market to get the groceries, cooking on the weekends and watching war movies. I can’t imagine how someone can watch the same movie again and again (of course Notting Hill and Pretty Woman are not on that list!). They rattle dialogues off together and laugh over it, the younger one has joined their bandwagon lately and even he has watched movies like Black Hawk Down and 13 hours (Secret Soldiers of Benghazi). Actually, I am very glad they get along so well and don’t need me for a while. So while they are at it, it is me with my books and chocolates or on the phone catching up with friends.

Q: What key values do you want your boys to grow up with?
Gayatri: Perseverance, compassion and the sense of responsibility is what I work with them all the time and these are the qualities I want them to have as adults.

Q. Have you ever had to deal with conflict between kids at the school or at the park?
Gayatri: Part of dealing with boys is dealing with physical energy that transforms into fist fights, punches and trouble. As adults we must remember that their quarrels are not like adult fights and don’t come with a vengeance. It is a way boys play and is safe to some extent. They will be enemies for a moment and best buddies the next. However, not much can be said of mothers who strain relationships with each other because one kid hit the other. There have been many incidents where I had to talk to the other mother to explain this fact but sadly some do not reason.

Q: What keeps you sane?
Gayatri: My books.

Q: Your secret sauce of looking so young & energetic and staying positive?
Gayatri: Setting realistic exercise goals and effective exercise routine keeps my skin and head in great health.

Q: How important is "me time" to you? And what do you do?
Gayatri: ‘Me time’ is very sacred and it is always the hubby who pushes me to have a little more of it. In my ‘me time’ I either go out with my girl friends, play a game of badminton with buddies or read a book.

Q: What book is at your bedside right now? And what are your boys reading?
Gayatri: I am reading a psychological suspense thriller called ‘The Guilty One’ by Lisa Ballantyne. My older boy is currently reading ‘Beedle the Bard’ by JK Rowling and the younger one is being read, ‘Up and Down’ by Oliver Jeffers.

Q: Since you are a traveler, name three places in India every family should visit.
Gayatri: First on my list in India with kids would be Dubare Elephant Camp in Karnataka. Second would be a house boat ride experience in Kerala backwaters and third would be some of the untouched beaches of Alibaug, Maharashtra.

Q: One thing you always carry in your purse since you've become a mom.
Gayatri: An emergency snack for the kids. I never step out without it.

Q: One thing you miss from before mommy hood?
Gayatri: I miss the fact that I could read a book or two in a day. Now the same book takes me at least a week to finish.

Q: What do you like about BabyChakra?
Gayatri: Everything!!! It is a whole tribe of lovely mums out there who watch out for each other. There is so much positive energy and camaraderie in this community that it is infectious and permeates into the actual lives of mums too. How I wish I had this kind of fraternity back when my kids were younger. I have always felt that when a new mum shares her joys, low moments and dilemma with someone who does not judge her but only encourages her, she thrives better with her baby. This is what the BabyChakra community achieves. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child and lo! we have it right here!

Q: One piece of advice each to expecting moms, new moms and toddler moms.
Gayatri: To Expecting Moms: You are in the special period of your life so enjoy every bit of the beautiful transformation your body goes through. After all it is not every other day a woman gets pregnant.
To New Moms: Eat healthy and take care of your body well. You need to be strong to take care of your babies.
To Toddler Moms: Let go of things that don’t matter much. It is okay if the house is not spic and span, it is okay to not being able to cook a full course meal, it is okay if the kids don’t turn out like you want them to. Your house will still be a warm place to live, you will still cook up a simple wholesome meal for your loved ones and your kids will turn out just fine.

Thank you Gayatri!!