Ninth of April

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A date I cannot really forget.

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A date I wish would not have had come.

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A date when a grief bestowed upon me.

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A date when I lost my two babies...

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Time has passed since, it is now four long years, but I can still feel that emptiness. Not that I am not contend... My son does fill up the space very beautifully. Blessed to have a son who inspires and loves beyond boundaries... But for a mother all her children are equally beautiful and equally loveable...

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Does losing the two unborn babies make me less of a mother? I had missed to hold them, hug them, nurse them and care for them... Does that make me any less of a mommy?

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Whilst people think I have just one baby, only my heart knows how it feels. Because as a matter of fact, I am a mother to three babies... One is here with me and the elder twos are up there with God.

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I had felt a rush of emotions and had always wanted to know why that happened. Only with time I could come to terms that perhaps they are better wherever they are today!

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Do I miss them? Ofcourse! They had been a part of me for eight full weeks. That may just seem a very small period, but for a mother, it indeed is a long time.

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My dreams were shattered and heart sank with my naturally terminated pregnancy and I took my sweet time to be out of the trauma. But that pain, that emptiness would perhaps stay with me forever!

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